Things
November is the cruellest month.
I've been suffering from a serious bout of depression. Like, can't get out of bed, barely answering phone calls, hiding away from people, too anxious to leave the house depression. Everything has pretty much stopped for about 4 weeks. I am only just waking up, coming back to campus and it's all a bit overwhelming, because one of my essays is over a week overdue (essays lose 5 marks for each day it's overdue) and I need to do a proposal paper for my dissertation, I've got a magazine I've completely derailed, friends I've missed and books to read and it's my third fucking year and my one chance. One of the things that helped me during this cruel month was fanfiction, mainly because it's right here with me in my private sphere.
I guess what I was also thinking about was how fanfic influences you. Right now, I'm hooking on super-stantial (I think thats a Colbert phrase) Handy/Martha fic I'll Meet You on the Other Side by fourzoas. She's put in this wonderful thing - chalkboard walls and it's covered with equations and notes and now a little diary. I'm determined to get one once I get the chance with my own place. Also, thanks to the Runaway Bride and another wonderful fic I'm also determined to get pockets sewn in my wedding dress, mainly for the lols and the horrorstruck look on my mum's face (just to add to the lesbian thing). I also really want a quartet playing Martha's theme as I walk down the aisle, and at some point during the reception I have to hear Song for Ten. If I ever get married. I'm only 20 so I just can't see it happening, especially as I keep falling for people who are in love with somebody else. It's odd, maybe as if I see that love they're projecting and I get caught in the crossfire and taken hostage. I wonder if anybody else has had their life plans sort of affected by fanfic...
I've been suffering from a serious bout of depression. Like, can't get out of bed, barely answering phone calls, hiding away from people, too anxious to leave the house depression. Everything has pretty much stopped for about 4 weeks. I am only just waking up, coming back to campus and it's all a bit overwhelming, because one of my essays is over a week overdue (essays lose 5 marks for each day it's overdue) and I need to do a proposal paper for my dissertation, I've got a magazine I've completely derailed, friends I've missed and books to read and it's my third fucking year and my one chance. One of the things that helped me during this cruel month was fanfiction, mainly because it's right here with me in my private sphere.
I guess what I was also thinking about was how fanfic influences you. Right now, I'm hooking on super-stantial (I think thats a Colbert phrase) Handy/Martha fic I'll Meet You on the Other Side by fourzoas. She's put in this wonderful thing - chalkboard walls and it's covered with equations and notes and now a little diary. I'm determined to get one once I get the chance with my own place. Also, thanks to the Runaway Bride and another wonderful fic I'm also determined to get pockets sewn in my wedding dress, mainly for the lols and the horrorstruck look on my mum's face (just to add to the lesbian thing). I also really want a quartet playing Martha's theme as I walk down the aisle, and at some point during the reception I have to hear Song for Ten. If I ever get married. I'm only 20 so I just can't see it happening, especially as I keep falling for people who are in love with somebody else. It's odd, maybe as if I see that love they're projecting and I get caught in the crossfire and taken hostage. I wonder if anybody else has had their life plans sort of affected by fanfic...