when words aren't enough (even though they sometimes are)
title: when words aren't enough (even though they sometimes are)
pairing: joonmyun/kyungsoo
word count: ~1k
warning/s: general incoherency, product of waking up at two in the morning, word vomit
♫♫♫
"class dismissed," the instructor's voice echoes throughout the entire classroom, and the students shuffle out the door in groups.
kyungsoo searches for joonmyun in the sea of people, starting to feel anxious after not finding the familiar brown head of hair, when he is gently tugged out into the hallway.
"are you cold?" joonmyun quietly asks, side-eyeing kyungsoo as they walk down the halls. kyungsoo doesn't understand why joonmyun would ask something like that until he passes by an open window and sees the torrent of heavy rain almost obscuring his view of the school's football field. he shivers involuntarily, and joonmyun chuckles.
he doesn't answer the question, but scoots closer to joonmyun for warmth with the excuse of not having a jacket to shield him from the cold. joonmyun doesn't say anything, but doesn't move away either.
they make use of the empty ramp meant for students with trolleys, reveling in the silence of what is their entire relationship, has been for years. they have been quiet ever since, not really talking to each other much, but still communicating nonetheless. it's all muttered words, stolen glances and accidental brushes of hands, but it's enough for kyungsoo to feel a swarm of butterflies in his stomach whenever he sees joonmyun. it's enough for both of them, because they love each other, and they don't need words to show it.
"looky here," a familiar nasally voice drawls from behind the pair, and they start walking faster. "going out on a date, hyung?"
"sehun," joonmyun greets without looking behind him and he moves away from kyungsoo, who feels slightly rejected.
"hyung, make sure you don't get caught," another voice, jongin, teases, and kyungsoo can hear several snickers from behind them. "kyungsoo's dad will kill you once he finds out you've been banging his only son."
joonmyun visibly stiffens at this, but laughs anyway, like he always does. "i'm not 'banging' him, okay? we're bestfriends," and kyungsoo swears he heard joonmyun's voice falter a little bit, so he lets out a laugh of his own.
"sure," jongin rolls his eyes, as if he's heard the same thing from joonmyun one time too many, as he and his group of friends pass them by. "keep telling yourself that when your 'bestfriend' obviously thinks differently."
joonmyun blushes at this, ducking his head as jongin's group disappears further down the ramp. kyungsoo clears his throat, and joonmyun looks up at him. "what?"
kyungsoo shakes his head, and thinks he's done something wrong when joonmyuns lets out a sigh, sounding exasperated.
"you didn't actually take what i said to heart, did you?" joonmyun says, voice wavering as he looks at kyungsoo with concerned eyes. "you know how i really feel about you, kyungsoo, even though i-"
"no, i get it," kyungsoo interrupts, unconsciously quickening his pace, only slowing down when joonmyun grabs his arm to slow him down.
"i, um," joonmyun starts, knowing what to say, but not quite knowing how to say it. "i really-"
"i know," and kyungsoo says this because he does. he knows what joonmyun wants to say even when he doesn't say it, because they're like that; even if they try, they simply can't put their feelings for each other into words. what they feel for each other is beyond words, because words fail those who are truly in love.
joonmyun stops walking once they reach the hallway leading to the front lobby where kyungsoo's dad is probably waiting, kyungsoo's maid on his right and bodyguard on his left. kyungsoo notices this and stops too, surprised. "what-"
"please don't ever doubt me or my feelings for you," joonmyun pleads, brown eyes boring into kyungsoo's.
"joonmyun," kyungsoo breathes shakily, eyes stinging and heart pounding because joonmyun has never been this intimate, and kyungsoo doesn't know what to make of it.
"i don't know how to say it, but believe me when i say that if you ever stop," joonmyun clears his throat, hands trembling at his sides as he stares straight into kyungsoo's eyes. "that if you stop loving me because you think i don't love you, it would tear me apart."
kyungsoo blinks away tears he didn't know were there, and he feels his heart swell with every word that comes out of joonmyun's mouth.
"that if you ever decide that you don't want to be with me for some reason, it would destroy me," joonmyun walks up to kyungsoo and gently puts a hand on the latter's waist. "it sounds cheesy, but i've never been good with words when it comes to you."
kyungsoo smiles, wiping at his eyes with his fingertips, and puts a hand over joonmyun's on his waist. "i can't promise to be with you for the rest of our lives," and he sees something akin to pain flash in joonmyun's eyes, so he gently brings their joined hands to the older boy's face. "but i can promise you that i've never doubted you, and never will. i love you too much and have loved you for too long to believe that you don't love me back."
"this is weird," joonmyun laughs, his voice full of childish mirth, and kyungsoo can't help but smile at how perfect everything is. he thinks the best is yet to come, but for now, this is enough. it's always been enough.
kyungsoo feels his phone vibrate in his pocket, and it's his father, telling him to hurry up. kyungsoo lets go of joonmyun's hand and they drag their feet to the front lobby.
"i'm cold," kyungsoo mutters, and that's all it takes for joonmyun to take off the jacket he's wearing and drape it over kyungsoo's smaller shoulders.
when joonmyun scoots closer to kyungsoo for warmth, the rain stops. joonmyun doesn't move away, and kyungsoo keeps the jacket anyway.
♫♫♫
a/n: typed this into my ipad right after i woke up at two in the morning today because of this dream that i'm still really depressed over. written for everyone who's in love with someone but can't say it out loud.
p.s i loved joonmyun a little bit more (which i didn't think was possible since i already loved him more than i love myself) after writing this because my dream was, unsurprisingly, about joonmyun.
p.p.s kuya dan this isn't the fic i wrote for you. that one's still in gdocs gathering dust ehuehuehue
p.p.p.s yay first fic i've posted in almost year! i'm an extremely lazy writer omfg
tumblr | ssu-ho
twitter | kyungsex
pairing: joonmyun/kyungsoo
word count: ~1k
warning/s: general incoherency, product of waking up at two in the morning, word vomit
♫♫♫
"class dismissed," the instructor's voice echoes throughout the entire classroom, and the students shuffle out the door in groups.
kyungsoo searches for joonmyun in the sea of people, starting to feel anxious after not finding the familiar brown head of hair, when he is gently tugged out into the hallway.
"are you cold?" joonmyun quietly asks, side-eyeing kyungsoo as they walk down the halls. kyungsoo doesn't understand why joonmyun would ask something like that until he passes by an open window and sees the torrent of heavy rain almost obscuring his view of the school's football field. he shivers involuntarily, and joonmyun chuckles.
he doesn't answer the question, but scoots closer to joonmyun for warmth with the excuse of not having a jacket to shield him from the cold. joonmyun doesn't say anything, but doesn't move away either.
they make use of the empty ramp meant for students with trolleys, reveling in the silence of what is their entire relationship, has been for years. they have been quiet ever since, not really talking to each other much, but still communicating nonetheless. it's all muttered words, stolen glances and accidental brushes of hands, but it's enough for kyungsoo to feel a swarm of butterflies in his stomach whenever he sees joonmyun. it's enough for both of them, because they love each other, and they don't need words to show it.
"looky here," a familiar nasally voice drawls from behind the pair, and they start walking faster. "going out on a date, hyung?"
"sehun," joonmyun greets without looking behind him and he moves away from kyungsoo, who feels slightly rejected.
"hyung, make sure you don't get caught," another voice, jongin, teases, and kyungsoo can hear several snickers from behind them. "kyungsoo's dad will kill you once he finds out you've been banging his only son."
joonmyun visibly stiffens at this, but laughs anyway, like he always does. "i'm not 'banging' him, okay? we're bestfriends," and kyungsoo swears he heard joonmyun's voice falter a little bit, so he lets out a laugh of his own.
"sure," jongin rolls his eyes, as if he's heard the same thing from joonmyun one time too many, as he and his group of friends pass them by. "keep telling yourself that when your 'bestfriend' obviously thinks differently."
joonmyun blushes at this, ducking his head as jongin's group disappears further down the ramp. kyungsoo clears his throat, and joonmyun looks up at him. "what?"
kyungsoo shakes his head, and thinks he's done something wrong when joonmyuns lets out a sigh, sounding exasperated.
"you didn't actually take what i said to heart, did you?" joonmyun says, voice wavering as he looks at kyungsoo with concerned eyes. "you know how i really feel about you, kyungsoo, even though i-"
"no, i get it," kyungsoo interrupts, unconsciously quickening his pace, only slowing down when joonmyun grabs his arm to slow him down.
"i, um," joonmyun starts, knowing what to say, but not quite knowing how to say it. "i really-"
"i know," and kyungsoo says this because he does. he knows what joonmyun wants to say even when he doesn't say it, because they're like that; even if they try, they simply can't put their feelings for each other into words. what they feel for each other is beyond words, because words fail those who are truly in love.
joonmyun stops walking once they reach the hallway leading to the front lobby where kyungsoo's dad is probably waiting, kyungsoo's maid on his right and bodyguard on his left. kyungsoo notices this and stops too, surprised. "what-"
"please don't ever doubt me or my feelings for you," joonmyun pleads, brown eyes boring into kyungsoo's.
"joonmyun," kyungsoo breathes shakily, eyes stinging and heart pounding because joonmyun has never been this intimate, and kyungsoo doesn't know what to make of it.
"i don't know how to say it, but believe me when i say that if you ever stop," joonmyun clears his throat, hands trembling at his sides as he stares straight into kyungsoo's eyes. "that if you stop loving me because you think i don't love you, it would tear me apart."
kyungsoo blinks away tears he didn't know were there, and he feels his heart swell with every word that comes out of joonmyun's mouth.
"that if you ever decide that you don't want to be with me for some reason, it would destroy me," joonmyun walks up to kyungsoo and gently puts a hand on the latter's waist. "it sounds cheesy, but i've never been good with words when it comes to you."
kyungsoo smiles, wiping at his eyes with his fingertips, and puts a hand over joonmyun's on his waist. "i can't promise to be with you for the rest of our lives," and he sees something akin to pain flash in joonmyun's eyes, so he gently brings their joined hands to the older boy's face. "but i can promise you that i've never doubted you, and never will. i love you too much and have loved you for too long to believe that you don't love me back."
"this is weird," joonmyun laughs, his voice full of childish mirth, and kyungsoo can't help but smile at how perfect everything is. he thinks the best is yet to come, but for now, this is enough. it's always been enough.
kyungsoo feels his phone vibrate in his pocket, and it's his father, telling him to hurry up. kyungsoo lets go of joonmyun's hand and they drag their feet to the front lobby.
"i'm cold," kyungsoo mutters, and that's all it takes for joonmyun to take off the jacket he's wearing and drape it over kyungsoo's smaller shoulders.
when joonmyun scoots closer to kyungsoo for warmth, the rain stops. joonmyun doesn't move away, and kyungsoo keeps the jacket anyway.
♫♫♫
a/n: typed this into my ipad right after i woke up at two in the morning today because of this dream that i'm still really depressed over. written for everyone who's in love with someone but can't say it out loud.
p.s i loved joonmyun a little bit more (which i didn't think was possible since i already loved him more than i love myself) after writing this because my dream was, unsurprisingly, about joonmyun.
p.p.s kuya dan this isn't the fic i wrote for you. that one's still in gdocs gathering dust ehuehuehue
p.p.p.s yay first fic i've posted in almost year! i'm an extremely lazy writer omfg
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twitter | kyungsex