Perspective
Drugs are weird, man. They can do freaky things to you. Not just drugs, but any bad habits. Being a big drinker, party goer, fornicator or whatever else your vice might be can be very bad for your perspective on life. I was watching Intervention on A&E the other day, and there was a homeless guy addicted to crack who used to cycle with Lance Armstrong. While he was living in an alley behind a dumpster filled with poop, he would remark that he is truly happy because he can't think of anything better than getting high, living off the land and not having to worry about anything. Someone asked what would happen if he died and he just said everyone dies sometime, so what does it matter when he goes. How do people get in such a bad place, and what can anyone possibly say to them to convince them there is something to live for. This guy could have made his mark on society, he was an olympic cyclist and he could have started a family, but he thought crack was a better idea.
It doesn't take a crack pipe or a cocaine addiction to change your perspective, though. Some people rationalize a lot of the questionable behavior they do. Getting drunk and having lots of sex with different people can't be a great thing for your body. Flies spread diseases, so keep yours zipped up. It's only temporary satisfaction anyway, before you become dissatisfied with it and move on to meaningful relations with other people. There aren't a lot of 50 year old swingers around, because everyone outgrows that phase. There are some 50 year olds who have lost touch with reality because of a lifetime of drug use, though.
I'm writing all this because it's just something I need to get down to remind myself of the course of action I have to take regarding Jess. I'm afraid for her. I feel like she's on a slippery slope, and she's letting drugs, alcohol and other bad behavior take over her life. She's pushing me away from the position I once had in her life, even though I want to help her. I also think that me leaving her life completely will push her further down the path that isn't good for her. If I stay, though, I'm only enabling her by being supportive and remaining a part of her life while she drives it off the track and into a ditch. She's gotta see where she's going before she'll be willing to change, and unfortunately, that most likely means she has to hit rock bottom. The worst part for me is knowing her bottom might be too far down to come back from. She might end up hurt, big time. If you ask her if she's in trouble, she'll definitely say no, but that's because of her warped perspective. She really thinks the people she hangs out with care for her. Her, her rugby team, and the rest of her crew, get high so much and do so many other drugs, it's no wonder she thinks they actually care about her. If you're high so much, you start saying and thinking things that just aren't true. If she cleared her head and actually listened to what she sounded like, she might actually hear her problems and be inspired to face them. Since that isn't gonna happen, she'll just blame other people for her problems. Like me. In the form of guilt trips. They suck. I need encouragement to get through that, because not answering her calls is hard... really hard. She'll tell me I'm just giving up on everything we have, but in reality, she quit months ago.
Hey Joe, chin up dude. It's not your problem, it's hers.
It doesn't take a crack pipe or a cocaine addiction to change your perspective, though. Some people rationalize a lot of the questionable behavior they do. Getting drunk and having lots of sex with different people can't be a great thing for your body. Flies spread diseases, so keep yours zipped up. It's only temporary satisfaction anyway, before you become dissatisfied with it and move on to meaningful relations with other people. There aren't a lot of 50 year old swingers around, because everyone outgrows that phase. There are some 50 year olds who have lost touch with reality because of a lifetime of drug use, though.
I'm writing all this because it's just something I need to get down to remind myself of the course of action I have to take regarding Jess. I'm afraid for her. I feel like she's on a slippery slope, and she's letting drugs, alcohol and other bad behavior take over her life. She's pushing me away from the position I once had in her life, even though I want to help her. I also think that me leaving her life completely will push her further down the path that isn't good for her. If I stay, though, I'm only enabling her by being supportive and remaining a part of her life while she drives it off the track and into a ditch. She's gotta see where she's going before she'll be willing to change, and unfortunately, that most likely means she has to hit rock bottom. The worst part for me is knowing her bottom might be too far down to come back from. She might end up hurt, big time. If you ask her if she's in trouble, she'll definitely say no, but that's because of her warped perspective. She really thinks the people she hangs out with care for her. Her, her rugby team, and the rest of her crew, get high so much and do so many other drugs, it's no wonder she thinks they actually care about her. If you're high so much, you start saying and thinking things that just aren't true. If she cleared her head and actually listened to what she sounded like, she might actually hear her problems and be inspired to face them. Since that isn't gonna happen, she'll just blame other people for her problems. Like me. In the form of guilt trips. They suck. I need encouragement to get through that, because not answering her calls is hard... really hard. She'll tell me I'm just giving up on everything we have, but in reality, she quit months ago.
Hey Joe, chin up dude. It's not your problem, it's hers.