Last weekend was exactly what I needed
For some reason, I thought it would be hard to concentrate on juggling with everything that has been on my mind recently. How wrong I was... last weekend rocked. Went to NYC for the sixth annual Juggle This! convention hosted by Pratt art institute. Just being in the greatest city on earth when it's 55 degrees and sun shining was medicinal. I stayed with my friend Michael, had awesome pizza, talked to my friends Jay, Michael, Marcus, Sean, Cornellers, Geneseoians, Delawareians and Canadians again. Seeing everyone there was amazing, but just to top off some great performances (Mattias rocked hard) I juggled like a maniac.
I was on fire the whole weekend, hitting every trick I threw up into the air. I got to pass ten clubs... TEN CLUBS with Jay on Saturday. We rocked it out and got like 50 catches or so. At the time, I didn't think it was very important or cool, but come on, that's ten clubs, which I've never done before and for a long effing time. Then, I hit a bunch of other four and five club moves, four, five, six and seven ball moves and I GOT MY RINGS BACK!!! Brian finally gave me back the rings I exchanged with him at Cornell. I couldn't be happier to see them again. I'll never leave them. Highlight of the weekend, though, was having the 5 club 5 up 360 race. Basically, myself, Gonzalo from Canada, Dave Nager, Brian Gadomski, Nate Marshall and another Quebec student were having a race to see who could do a five up 360 with a qualify after first. *Non-jugglers note* A five up 360 is juggling five clubs, throwing them all out of your hands above you, spin around in a circle holding nothing, then catching all the clubs and going back into pattern. Well guess who won with a perfect five up? I totally did. I was so psyched... so many people were looking at me and cheering when I got it. I felt godlike.
Now just think about this for a second. Three years ago, I couldn't juggle three balls. Now I'm doing a trick which most five club jugglers will never get. Most jugglers will never even learn how to juggle five clubs. I hate to get on an ego/power trip, but I went from being a no-name face in the crowd to one of the most popular people at juggling conventions. I had to sign autographs this weekend and I had people come up to me after staring at me practicing for a few minutes telling me how great it is to meet me. That's such a great feeling, to know that people want to see me around and will actually come to a festival, driving unknown miles just to see me. I have fans. There were people asking me all weekend if I was going to perform. In the beginning, I kept saying I wasn't good enough to perform or I only had another boring club routine, but that doesn't matter. People like to see me in the gym, they want to see me up on stage, no matter how much I drop.
Here's the great part. I had such a good weekend, it completely lifted me out of the depression I was in. Somehow I knew juggling was the answer, but I didn't want to admit it. For me, there is nothing greater on this earth. There are so many people that want to see me succeed and it made me realize that there are more than juggling fans that want to see me do well. I may not be as good at anything as I am at juggling, but I can still do a great many things and can be a friend to many. I never wanted to win popularity contests, I just wanted to be someone that people wanted to have around. More like the life of the party. I realize now that I have that opportunity, if I just take a step in the right direction.
I'd hate to sound like I'm bragging, but I guess this is what confidence sounds like. I should get used to it, stop feeling weird by telling myself that I'm pretty cool and I'm worth a lot to a lot of people. Now is the time to quit bitching about my past and accept that I was a certain way but now I have a chance to be something better. Who's with me?
I was on fire the whole weekend, hitting every trick I threw up into the air. I got to pass ten clubs... TEN CLUBS with Jay on Saturday. We rocked it out and got like 50 catches or so. At the time, I didn't think it was very important or cool, but come on, that's ten clubs, which I've never done before and for a long effing time. Then, I hit a bunch of other four and five club moves, four, five, six and seven ball moves and I GOT MY RINGS BACK!!! Brian finally gave me back the rings I exchanged with him at Cornell. I couldn't be happier to see them again. I'll never leave them. Highlight of the weekend, though, was having the 5 club 5 up 360 race. Basically, myself, Gonzalo from Canada, Dave Nager, Brian Gadomski, Nate Marshall and another Quebec student were having a race to see who could do a five up 360 with a qualify after first. *Non-jugglers note* A five up 360 is juggling five clubs, throwing them all out of your hands above you, spin around in a circle holding nothing, then catching all the clubs and going back into pattern. Well guess who won with a perfect five up? I totally did. I was so psyched... so many people were looking at me and cheering when I got it. I felt godlike.
Now just think about this for a second. Three years ago, I couldn't juggle three balls. Now I'm doing a trick which most five club jugglers will never get. Most jugglers will never even learn how to juggle five clubs. I hate to get on an ego/power trip, but I went from being a no-name face in the crowd to one of the most popular people at juggling conventions. I had to sign autographs this weekend and I had people come up to me after staring at me practicing for a few minutes telling me how great it is to meet me. That's such a great feeling, to know that people want to see me around and will actually come to a festival, driving unknown miles just to see me. I have fans. There were people asking me all weekend if I was going to perform. In the beginning, I kept saying I wasn't good enough to perform or I only had another boring club routine, but that doesn't matter. People like to see me in the gym, they want to see me up on stage, no matter how much I drop.
Here's the great part. I had such a good weekend, it completely lifted me out of the depression I was in. Somehow I knew juggling was the answer, but I didn't want to admit it. For me, there is nothing greater on this earth. There are so many people that want to see me succeed and it made me realize that there are more than juggling fans that want to see me do well. I may not be as good at anything as I am at juggling, but I can still do a great many things and can be a friend to many. I never wanted to win popularity contests, I just wanted to be someone that people wanted to have around. More like the life of the party. I realize now that I have that opportunity, if I just take a step in the right direction.
I'd hate to sound like I'm bragging, but I guess this is what confidence sounds like. I should get used to it, stop feeling weird by telling myself that I'm pretty cool and I'm worth a lot to a lot of people. Now is the time to quit bitching about my past and accept that I was a certain way but now I have a chance to be something better. Who's with me?