Slight diversion
I'll update about the unmentionable later. For now, something that's been helping me cope.
Saying music effects your mood is like saying when the sun shines, it makes you warm. That's just a given. A good playlist has been helping me deal with my most recent depression. Something about the interpretation of the lyrics linked with the pumping beat that really hammers the message home. I was thinking I'd share the songs that make me feel best about myself and give you a little insight... as if you can't see right through me already. Here they are.
Atreyu - Ex's and Oh's
You took me home I drank too much, because of you my liver turned to dust. Cold rust taste, cold creeping, cold pain... do you understand what I mean?
When you feel your soul drop to the floor, like a wound, like an open, bleeding sore. Then you'll have bled like I bled... then you'll have wept as I wept
Suck me down, it's time to rock and roll. Let's hit the bars. Let's lose control.
One false move, you took me home. One false move, you're all alone.
But it looks so good and feels so nice, I paid my price, I'll cut you out just to hear you scream. Get away from, get away from me!
And I can feel my heartbeat racing, as I realize what I must do. Get away from, get away from... get away from you!
Should have turned and ran like hell, last time I got a taste of you
I should have turned and ran like hell, and I'll see we're through
Should have turned and ran like hell, last time I got a taste of you
I should have turned and ran like hell, and I'll see we're through... and I'll see we're through
You fell upon me, like a plague... weakness, sweet weakness... but I digress, after all this
You're just like all the rest
Alkaline Trio - I lied my Face off
Well, it's not fair, it's not even close. You tied me down where I'm forced to watch as you poke holes in every part of me. Containing something secretly, something sacred to me.
I lied my face off when I said that I would be okay. It's never fine when you go away. These cuts run deep these scars are perminant, and always on display. This makes things difficult for me.
It's not fair, it's not even close. You fed me the sun, burned me up inside and watched me choke on everything we did. And everything we lived. Let's see if I can live again.
Head like an empty sterile room, somehow I made a mess. Like watching newborn babies crack from work related stress.
I'm bad luck, can't fuck, got no reflection today. Maybe I'll stay down next time I get hit by a train. By a train.
I lied my face off when I said that I would be okay. It's never fine when you go away.
Honestly, these songs make me feel a bit better. But they're a band-aid. I need stitches. Still, Atreyu helps me, even though I don't drink, because it reinforces the message that I need to realize what I must do and then see it through. Alkaline Trio is just honest to how I feel. I kept telling Kim all along that I was okay and every time she moved farther away, I just let her. When she said she wanted to see someone else, I basically lied my face off about being okay with it. The part about feeing me the sun and watching me choke on it was the past four months. Making up excuse after excuse. I'll get to that in the next post, coming later tonight. Until then, English portfolio work.
Saying music effects your mood is like saying when the sun shines, it makes you warm. That's just a given. A good playlist has been helping me deal with my most recent depression. Something about the interpretation of the lyrics linked with the pumping beat that really hammers the message home. I was thinking I'd share the songs that make me feel best about myself and give you a little insight... as if you can't see right through me already. Here they are.
Atreyu - Ex's and Oh's
You took me home I drank too much, because of you my liver turned to dust. Cold rust taste, cold creeping, cold pain... do you understand what I mean?
When you feel your soul drop to the floor, like a wound, like an open, bleeding sore. Then you'll have bled like I bled... then you'll have wept as I wept
Suck me down, it's time to rock and roll. Let's hit the bars. Let's lose control.
One false move, you took me home. One false move, you're all alone.
But it looks so good and feels so nice, I paid my price, I'll cut you out just to hear you scream. Get away from, get away from me!
And I can feel my heartbeat racing, as I realize what I must do. Get away from, get away from... get away from you!
Should have turned and ran like hell, last time I got a taste of you
I should have turned and ran like hell, and I'll see we're through
Should have turned and ran like hell, last time I got a taste of you
I should have turned and ran like hell, and I'll see we're through... and I'll see we're through
You fell upon me, like a plague... weakness, sweet weakness... but I digress, after all this
You're just like all the rest
Alkaline Trio - I lied my Face off
Well, it's not fair, it's not even close. You tied me down where I'm forced to watch as you poke holes in every part of me. Containing something secretly, something sacred to me.
I lied my face off when I said that I would be okay. It's never fine when you go away. These cuts run deep these scars are perminant, and always on display. This makes things difficult for me.
It's not fair, it's not even close. You fed me the sun, burned me up inside and watched me choke on everything we did. And everything we lived. Let's see if I can live again.
Head like an empty sterile room, somehow I made a mess. Like watching newborn babies crack from work related stress.
I'm bad luck, can't fuck, got no reflection today. Maybe I'll stay down next time I get hit by a train. By a train.
I lied my face off when I said that I would be okay. It's never fine when you go away.
Honestly, these songs make me feel a bit better. But they're a band-aid. I need stitches. Still, Atreyu helps me, even though I don't drink, because it reinforces the message that I need to realize what I must do and then see it through. Alkaline Trio is just honest to how I feel. I kept telling Kim all along that I was okay and every time she moved farther away, I just let her. When she said she wanted to see someone else, I basically lied my face off about being okay with it. The part about feeing me the sun and watching me choke on it was the past four months. Making up excuse after excuse. I'll get to that in the next post, coming later tonight. Until then, English portfolio work.