Apr 23, 2007 14:11
Babies who die before being baptised will no longer be trapped in Limbo following a decision by the Pope to abolish the concept from Roman Catholic teaching ...
DISCORDIAN SOCIETY ACQUIRES LIMBO
Monday 23 April, 2007
In a surprise move today, the Discordian Society, a small neo-religious group which worships the Ancient Greek Deity of Chaos called "Eris" (and known to the Ancient Romans as "Discordia"), have announced that they have acquired the non-corporeal realm known as "Limbo".
Limbo, the theological concept [claimed as] previously belonging to the Christian Catholic Church, was abandoned by the Church last Friday.
Although the Discordian Society is anarchic in structure, a self-proclaimed spokesperson for the movement who identified himself only as "His Wholiness the Rev.Dr. Jon" made the following statement:
The Discordian Society, in line with previous acquisitions, welcomes the arrival of Limbo into the fold. We look forward to giving the place a clean sweep, a good polish and a nice redecoration. We'd like to thank fellow Pope* Benedict XVI for making this opportunity possible. We'd also like to offer the hand of friendship to those tenants of Limbo who chose to stay. We assure all who do wish to stay that they are welcome to continue to reside in the manner to which they are accustomed, however we will also be undertaking a rolling series of improvements over the coming eons, which should see a marked increase in liveability benchmarks.
There is no word yet as to what purposes, if any, the Discordian Society plan to put Limbo to, however opinion is divided amongst the Discordian faithful.
(* Discordians believe that every man, woman and child is a Pope.)