how Strange, the feeling that my life's begun at last....
My christmas break has been not at all what I expected. I've changed, I've grown, lost and gained. Now looking at it, I think I have dealt with about as many crazy things as I did last year in a year's time. This time it took about 3 weeks.
Derek and I broke up, I thought pretty much I just wanted to collapse and give up. I found a way to carry on, and a way to make sense of everything. my biggest fear was losing him completely, and much to both of our surprises, our friendship is back and stronger than ever in such a short amount of time. I missed him a lot, and though I may not be in love with him, I think I love him more now than I ever thought I would. It's good to have back one of my best friends.
I'm suffering side effects of my medicine again. I get sick and I'm losing my hair. I cried about it a lot when it first started happening, but I don't care so much anymore. Sure it's sad to watch my hair fall out, but it's only hair. it will come back eventually. more than anything, I'm proud for not giving up just because it makes me sad to watch myself change physically.
I've found the best friends I could ever ask for. Erin and Sarah have truly changed my life. If they were not next to me, cheering me on all the time, I don't think I would have survived my first semester. Sarah has the most beautiful heart of anyone I know. She has the ability to listen and understand me, when I dont even understand myself. Erin is my best friend in the world. I dont have to say a word, she already knows. I never have to explain myself, because she has already read whatever it is in my eyes. She will be with me for the rest of my life, whether she likes it or not, because I will call her constantly until she answers the phone. She's my partner in crime, and she will be my maid of honor at my wedding. She's phenomenal.
My life has changed dramatically in 3 weeks. At first I thought it was going to be awful, but you know what? It's become the best thing in the world. I would not trade an ounce of what I now have for anything. I'm doing really well in school, I have a wonderful group of friends, a wonderful ex-boyfriend- who can now go back to being my best guy friend. I have medical issues, but so what? Time has changed me for the better. The people I surround myself with have changed me for the better. I like who i see these days, I look healthy, I feel healthy, I'm happy, and I'm alive. I can't do anything now without being thankful. My mistakes, my triumphs, everything. It's me. I think I know who I am now, and I am so excited to live my life now, not as the person I wish I was, but as the person I am, the person I always wanted to be.
Derek and I broke up, I thought pretty much I just wanted to collapse and give up. I found a way to carry on, and a way to make sense of everything. my biggest fear was losing him completely, and much to both of our surprises, our friendship is back and stronger than ever in such a short amount of time. I missed him a lot, and though I may not be in love with him, I think I love him more now than I ever thought I would. It's good to have back one of my best friends.
I'm suffering side effects of my medicine again. I get sick and I'm losing my hair. I cried about it a lot when it first started happening, but I don't care so much anymore. Sure it's sad to watch my hair fall out, but it's only hair. it will come back eventually. more than anything, I'm proud for not giving up just because it makes me sad to watch myself change physically.
I've found the best friends I could ever ask for. Erin and Sarah have truly changed my life. If they were not next to me, cheering me on all the time, I don't think I would have survived my first semester. Sarah has the most beautiful heart of anyone I know. She has the ability to listen and understand me, when I dont even understand myself. Erin is my best friend in the world. I dont have to say a word, she already knows. I never have to explain myself, because she has already read whatever it is in my eyes. She will be with me for the rest of my life, whether she likes it or not, because I will call her constantly until she answers the phone. She's my partner in crime, and she will be my maid of honor at my wedding. She's phenomenal.
My life has changed dramatically in 3 weeks. At first I thought it was going to be awful, but you know what? It's become the best thing in the world. I would not trade an ounce of what I now have for anything. I'm doing really well in school, I have a wonderful group of friends, a wonderful ex-boyfriend- who can now go back to being my best guy friend. I have medical issues, but so what? Time has changed me for the better. The people I surround myself with have changed me for the better. I like who i see these days, I look healthy, I feel healthy, I'm happy, and I'm alive. I can't do anything now without being thankful. My mistakes, my triumphs, everything. It's me. I think I know who I am now, and I am so excited to live my life now, not as the person I wish I was, but as the person I am, the person I always wanted to be.