1) Office drinking parties definitely operate like this. Granted, not in the middle of the week and in the office, but I enjoyed the "Pied Piper to Hell" leading the drinking charge with buzzwords.
2) Re: Treehouse/Upstairs. Coming off of Chapts 12 and 13, I like the contrast you've made by showing how Richard remains clueless as to how he can help her out because she simply does not confide in him where her head is at. Like Jimmy and Clark, he's intuitive enough to know that something is bothering her, but Richard seems wholly unable to adapt to a changing Lois to get her to open up to him.
3) Now the drinking party is really interesting that it's not just the Treehouse together, but a bigger group that is referenced in Chapt 11. Nice touch there, having Richard isolated from the group to reinforce his alienation and sense of displacement. Again, is it intentional or subconscious the way Lois not letting him join, even after Perry yells at them? Or is Richard's isolation self-imposed because he's on the phone with his best friend? Perhaps it's just both, but it does serve to highlight how mismatched Richard and Lois are fundamentally, on their own merits and faults, even before you add Superman and Clark into the picture.
4)I flove the way Perry catches onto how 'She had hated him, had damned his memory - just like Superman's - had refused to say or hear his name' but wondered 'Where had all that resentment gone?'. It highlights how Lois sees them as two different people, and I'll be interested to see what answer you come up with, should anyone ever pose the question to Lois. Clark gets away with so much, and now people are starting to notice it.
5) I was thinking about how you said that we're nearing the 1/4 mark of the fic. In a lot of ways, the first quarter has focused a lot on Lois and her transformation/inner turmoil and others' subsequent reaction to that. As people above have mentioned above, this feels like a new direction because rather than just Richard's observation of Clark and Lois, we also get that interesting glare at the end. For the first time, we see real Clark-Richard interactions rather than indirect interactions via Lois. I'll really be looking forward to seeing more of direct Clark interactions with Perry and Richard, especially now that Clark is on Perry's radar.
6) Finally, all this talk about Jason's birthday has got me really excited. We haven't seen the kid or gotten any perspective from him for a while now, so I'm psyched to see his reaction to Superman (and not just because he tends to bring levity and comedy to the table).
I finally let you feedback on Chapt 13 btw. Sorry for the delay.
2) Re: Treehouse/Upstairs. Coming off of Chapts 12 and 13, I like the contrast you've made by showing how Richard remains clueless as to how he can help her out because she simply does not confide in him where her head is at. Like Jimmy and Clark, he's intuitive enough to know that something is bothering her, but Richard seems wholly unable to adapt to a changing Lois to get her to open up to him.
3) Now the drinking party is really interesting that it's not just the Treehouse together, but a bigger group that is referenced in Chapt 11. Nice touch there, having Richard isolated from the group to reinforce his alienation and sense of displacement. Again, is it intentional or subconscious the way Lois not letting him join, even after Perry yells at them? Or is Richard's isolation self-imposed because he's on the phone with his best friend? Perhaps it's just both, but it does serve to highlight how mismatched Richard and Lois are fundamentally, on their own merits and faults, even before you add Superman and Clark into the picture.
4)I flove the way Perry catches onto how 'She had hated him, had damned his memory - just like Superman's - had refused to say or hear his name' but wondered 'Where had all that resentment gone?'. It highlights how Lois sees them as two different people, and I'll be interested to see what answer you come up with, should anyone ever pose the question to Lois. Clark gets away with so much, and now people are starting to notice it.
5) I was thinking about how you said that we're nearing the 1/4 mark of the fic. In a lot of ways, the first quarter has focused a lot on Lois and her transformation/inner turmoil and others' subsequent reaction to that. As people above have mentioned above, this feels like a new direction because rather than just Richard's observation of Clark and Lois, we also get that interesting glare at the end. For the first time, we see real Clark-Richard interactions rather than indirect interactions via Lois. I'll really be looking forward to seeing more of direct Clark interactions with Perry and Richard, especially now that Clark is on Perry's radar.
6) Finally, all this talk about Jason's birthday has got me really excited. We haven't seen the kid or gotten any perspective from him for a while now, so I'm psyched to see his reaction to Superman (and not just because he tends to bring levity and comedy to the table).
I finally let you feedback on Chapt 13 btw. Sorry for the delay.
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