we tripped on the urge to feel alive
ann arbor has the ability to make me feel young without fail. i spent the night in east quad last night, and i couldnt help stopping periodically to think "a year from today, ill be living here." there was something unbelievably exciting and infinitely disappointing about that realization. im not asserting that i unequivocally get what i want, but generally i can manipulate some sort of compromise with my parents. however, on the topic of college, they have yet to budge: ill be attending the university of michigan. neither rational debates nor dramatic threats of suicide have resulted in any leniency. the only tactic that has received any favorable reaction was telling my father i wanted to skip college altogether and become a professional kite flyer. he pulled the supportive parent card, and told me that that would fine. apparently he finds pursuing an undergraduate degree at mcgill or stanford ridiculous; however, an aimless life pursuing a passion i dont actually possess would be logical. its not that i have a specific problem with u of m, or ann arbor - i know its a great school in a really fun town, and im fully aware how lucky ill be to be able to attend. its just too close to home for my comfort. of course, because i have an obnoxious way of making everything complicated, for now, it seems too far away... i love spending time with people there, but things get exponentially more difficult with distance. i wish something would work out, but it wont, and ill have to deal with the fact that i morally compromised myself in a sick effort to obtain something that wont ever be attainable. however, it was enjoyable (as moral compromise tends to be,) and i dont regret a second of it.
despite all the bitching, i had an amazing time. what promised to be an uneventful weekend (with kate, cath, dan, tony, and garrett out of town) has turned out to be notably fun thanks to adam wilmers et al.
my brother moved out wednesday... its weird to eat alone.
in other news, i love you.