(no subject)
Im in a mood. A solemn reflective stupor. I really hate these days.
Its the second week of classes and I feel so tired...and we havent even put out the first issue of the paper yet...oi vey. I just want to finished...to get on with the next chapter. haha...so like me, skipping to the end to figure out the conclusion instead of enjoying the journey. :-P
So...in my musings the past few hours...ive wondered where I've really come. I did not emerge as a socialite nor a scholar. I still feel like me--boring, uninteresting--ME. Not exactly a workaholic, but someone who cant stand to leave things unfinished but completely willing to procrastinate until I am begging the sun not to rise. I guess, what's bothering me, is will I ever see these people after I graduate? will I ever have the opportunity to hang out and get coffee? I want friends...but I think I want friends to want me. Does that sound selfish? Really...no one makes any extraordinary effort to see me--to call me-- Granted, i dont think I do anything excessive...myself and I am sure they are just busy with their own lives and stuff. But I just sit back and wonder...Gee am I really THAT alone? No one really "stops" by...well except Bob.
I dont know, im probably being stupid. I am who I am, and I have given up trying to be who I am not. I am happy with my life and I dont need to have a "love lauren" party...but it is nice to be wanted... gosh--i'm such an attention whore.
Im going to stop this circle of self-pity and do something semi-productive.
Right.
Night.
Lauren
Its the second week of classes and I feel so tired...and we havent even put out the first issue of the paper yet...oi vey. I just want to finished...to get on with the next chapter. haha...so like me, skipping to the end to figure out the conclusion instead of enjoying the journey. :-P
So...in my musings the past few hours...ive wondered where I've really come. I did not emerge as a socialite nor a scholar. I still feel like me--boring, uninteresting--ME. Not exactly a workaholic, but someone who cant stand to leave things unfinished but completely willing to procrastinate until I am begging the sun not to rise. I guess, what's bothering me, is will I ever see these people after I graduate? will I ever have the opportunity to hang out and get coffee? I want friends...but I think I want friends to want me. Does that sound selfish? Really...no one makes any extraordinary effort to see me--to call me-- Granted, i dont think I do anything excessive...myself and I am sure they are just busy with their own lives and stuff. But I just sit back and wonder...Gee am I really THAT alone? No one really "stops" by...well except Bob.
I dont know, im probably being stupid. I am who I am, and I have given up trying to be who I am not. I am happy with my life and I dont need to have a "love lauren" party...but it is nice to be wanted... gosh--i'm such an attention whore.
Im going to stop this circle of self-pity and do something semi-productive.
Right.
Night.
Lauren