Can't wait til it's over
Ok, so he doesn't want to hear about our day, as in like a actual diary. Here's my reply. . . I have friends who also read this blog, right friends? And if all I do is write about what's happened that is requiring some cognitive behavior therapy, y'all would think I'm really crazy, although it's true, y'all don't need to really have evidence. I write about my entire day, to show how my choice in therapy keeps me calm during the day, and when something happens that upsets me, or is causeing me to react without thinking,or forming complete thoughts first, how it is helping, and how it is used. I wasn't planning on submitting my blog in with my paper, I was going to take the pieces of my blog that really had to do with the assignment. Is this wrong? This has bugged me to the point, that A. I couldn't write this out last night for fear of what would come out, and B. That between this and an issue concerning one of my friend, dominated my entire counseling session this morning. I'm stressed out over exams and finding time to move. All I know to do is BREATHE.
So that is what I'm doing. I'm taking deep breaths at the moment where it feels like I'm about to jump over the deep end. Right on the edge of when I'm shaking, breathing quickly, on the side of a panic attack. And I hear a voice telling me to breath. If I fail, I guess you could say that my punishment is that I read a little more on Cognitive Behavior Therapy to see what else I can do. My reward for the days that I have overcome and accomplished my goal, I get to see Chris that night.
There are days when nothing really happens that needs me to react towards forming thoughts without seemingly losing my mind over it. But everyday I tell myself to breath. It allows me to see how taking things a moment at a time, in a day at a time, allows me to keep myself improving, instead of slipping further back to my old ways. I know people slip, so do I, I did today, but it's not so bad, and I recover faster.
I'll be glad when the semester is over, and I have less to worry about, am able to move, and start my life fresh in the fall.
So that is what I'm doing. I'm taking deep breaths at the moment where it feels like I'm about to jump over the deep end. Right on the edge of when I'm shaking, breathing quickly, on the side of a panic attack. And I hear a voice telling me to breath. If I fail, I guess you could say that my punishment is that I read a little more on Cognitive Behavior Therapy to see what else I can do. My reward for the days that I have overcome and accomplished my goal, I get to see Chris that night.
There are days when nothing really happens that needs me to react towards forming thoughts without seemingly losing my mind over it. But everyday I tell myself to breath. It allows me to see how taking things a moment at a time, in a day at a time, allows me to keep myself improving, instead of slipping further back to my old ways. I know people slip, so do I, I did today, but it's not so bad, and I recover faster.
I'll be glad when the semester is over, and I have less to worry about, am able to move, and start my life fresh in the fall.