A starting point
So, real quick to explain the purpose of starting this blog. For my final in Theories of Psychotherapy, I am to keep a journal and then anaylze it in a paper. It's a bit more than just that, but why should I have to completely explain this assignment to all of my fellow myspacers? This is going to be a true look into my thoughts, and the ways that I react to different situations, especially ones that make me feel as if my emotions are taking control. You are more than welcome to leave me comments, however, please remember this is an assignment, in which I am to try and analyze it, so keep all comments positive. -------Here's to the next couple of weeks!
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My head has a slight thumping in it, and my thoughts are scattered and running in wild circles between the thumps. I feel almost emotionally drained, yet enthusiastic to have a portal of escape. Almost the way that today in general has been.
I woke up to the sound of thunder and the glimpses of lighting through the cracks in my blinds. So I laid in bed for another couple of hours, finally rolling myself out of bed around 10:30. Spent most of the morning trying to get into see my counselor, we'll call her Grace, cause at times, she is my saving Grace. So I did manage to get an appointment with her at 7:30pm tonight, to bring Chris along so she could see someone else's view on my reactions. Especially in moments where my Emotions become so strong, my thoughts don't form valid forms, and I lose all sense of control. I snap, either in fits of anger, frustration, and sometimes it's that I'm scared of the place I feel I'm in in my life at this moment. Eventually I ended up at Chris' house where I planned on studying for my Wednesday night class, it seemed like a good idea to be prepared, especially since I was going to have to leave early to make it to Grace. After sitting through the first volume of Invader Zim with Chris, we fixed a small snack/meal and I checked my messages. 1) Class was being canceled, and 2) Grace had a cancelation, and would be available an hour earlier. I started becoming anxious on my way to Grace's with this impending fear of how she would perceive this other side of me. I was trembling with the thoughts of what would come up, and how I would react. We went into her office, and I took my seat in my usual spot, shoes up, legs folded in "Indian Style." Chris however, sat in the spot that I was use to Grace sitting, and it actually made me tense up a bit, cause I guess in my head, it wasn't right. We started by talking about the events of the past week, and then Chris explained to her his concerns about me, and I struggled to keep myself in the conversation. After what seemed to be forever, I finally found complete thoughts in explainning how I have been feeling, I began to cry, cause it was mainly about my Mother, and the fact that I'm moving. Grace and I talked for a good long time after Chris went back to the waiting room, and talked about choices that I have, and it's strange but it all goes together here lately. I explained to her my final, and that I was planning on using Cognitive Behavior Therapy, and she gave me an exercise to practice that will help me out. Starting tomorrow, I'll try to explain the exercise, and I'll actually start it. I'll be glad when my thoughts and emotions quit ruling me, and I can start controling them.
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My head has a slight thumping in it, and my thoughts are scattered and running in wild circles between the thumps. I feel almost emotionally drained, yet enthusiastic to have a portal of escape. Almost the way that today in general has been.
I woke up to the sound of thunder and the glimpses of lighting through the cracks in my blinds. So I laid in bed for another couple of hours, finally rolling myself out of bed around 10:30. Spent most of the morning trying to get into see my counselor, we'll call her Grace, cause at times, she is my saving Grace. So I did manage to get an appointment with her at 7:30pm tonight, to bring Chris along so she could see someone else's view on my reactions. Especially in moments where my Emotions become so strong, my thoughts don't form valid forms, and I lose all sense of control. I snap, either in fits of anger, frustration, and sometimes it's that I'm scared of the place I feel I'm in in my life at this moment. Eventually I ended up at Chris' house where I planned on studying for my Wednesday night class, it seemed like a good idea to be prepared, especially since I was going to have to leave early to make it to Grace. After sitting through the first volume of Invader Zim with Chris, we fixed a small snack/meal and I checked my messages. 1) Class was being canceled, and 2) Grace had a cancelation, and would be available an hour earlier. I started becoming anxious on my way to Grace's with this impending fear of how she would perceive this other side of me. I was trembling with the thoughts of what would come up, and how I would react. We went into her office, and I took my seat in my usual spot, shoes up, legs folded in "Indian Style." Chris however, sat in the spot that I was use to Grace sitting, and it actually made me tense up a bit, cause I guess in my head, it wasn't right. We started by talking about the events of the past week, and then Chris explained to her his concerns about me, and I struggled to keep myself in the conversation. After what seemed to be forever, I finally found complete thoughts in explainning how I have been feeling, I began to cry, cause it was mainly about my Mother, and the fact that I'm moving. Grace and I talked for a good long time after Chris went back to the waiting room, and talked about choices that I have, and it's strange but it all goes together here lately. I explained to her my final, and that I was planning on using Cognitive Behavior Therapy, and she gave me an exercise to practice that will help me out. Starting tomorrow, I'll try to explain the exercise, and I'll actually start it. I'll be glad when my thoughts and emotions quit ruling me, and I can start controling them.