Coughing
I'm just getting over being sick and I can't seem to stop coughing enough to go to sleep. I hate it, but I'm so tired I'm awake again if that makes any sense whatsoever. James is in cedar park with his family.
I got invited to a party today but I declined as quickly as it was brought up-part of me doesn't want to be around the drugs and the drinking. Another part wants to be social and make an appearance for no real reason at all. Someone remarked replying to my not wanting to go because of the drugs, "you sleep don't you." Does living to die count as sleeping? There are so many parts of me right now and they all want to tear me apart. One wants to leave everyone and everything behind and just be young and free. Another wants to finish school as quickly as possible. Another wants to say F89K school. Another wants to spend as much time in school so I never have to get a job at least not too soon. Another wants to live a very average but lively life with no frills of luxury. Which one of these parts will win? Maybe they will all win and destory me.
Latley I've been asking myself over and over again-what makes me happy?
1. exercise
2. school
3. cultural studies
4. understanding humans
5. sleep
6. art
7. being around people of the same wants
My favorite moments have to be realizing I'm alive and other things around me are alive too. I forget that-I guess thats why they say "stop and smell the roses."
I got invited to a party today but I declined as quickly as it was brought up-part of me doesn't want to be around the drugs and the drinking. Another part wants to be social and make an appearance for no real reason at all. Someone remarked replying to my not wanting to go because of the drugs, "you sleep don't you." Does living to die count as sleeping? There are so many parts of me right now and they all want to tear me apart. One wants to leave everyone and everything behind and just be young and free. Another wants to finish school as quickly as possible. Another wants to say F89K school. Another wants to spend as much time in school so I never have to get a job at least not too soon. Another wants to live a very average but lively life with no frills of luxury. Which one of these parts will win? Maybe they will all win and destory me.
Latley I've been asking myself over and over again-what makes me happy?
1. exercise
2. school
3. cultural studies
4. understanding humans
5. sleep
6. art
7. being around people of the same wants
My favorite moments have to be realizing I'm alive and other things around me are alive too. I forget that-I guess thats why they say "stop and smell the roses."