Well.... I officiated a wedding! amongst other things.
I don't ever use this computer page anymore, but it was a big weekend... so...
I premiered two bands Thursday. Both of which far exceeded my expectations.
James Spann and the Suspenders:
A ring girl (Spike in a bikini and high heels) who held up signs with the names of each song before we played them, a plethora of dancers, John Biggham dressed as Santa Clause throwing peppermints at people, a DJ with a video screen, original poetry about zebras and the movie Twister, and Casey and myself..... All for 4 songs.
Mansfield:
Named for Dr. Asshole for no particular reason. Barkeep Billa singing like a singer should. Rolling in the floor and jumping about.
Then theres the WEDDING:
I got ordained on the Internet a long time ago, and when Blaine Duncan asked if I would officiate his wedding, I did not think he was serious. I kept telling him things like, "I'm just going to fart into the microphone and say "Married!" and that I was going to end the ceremony by shooting bottle rockets from my sleeves. Turns out he was serious. So, the Friday after I played with the two above mentioned bands plus the Universe, I had to get up at 5:30am and go to Florida to officiate a beach side wedding.
When I got there, I realized that this was a REAL wedding. The family was there, there were flowers, brides maids, the whole bit. So I freaked out, locked myself in the bathroom, sat in the bath tub for many hours trying to figure out exactly what I was going to do. I convinced myself that I would screw up so badly that Kelly(the bride) would begin crying and storm off from her own wedding. Thankfully, everything went off without a hitch.
After the wedding, I was relieved to have made it through the weekend without humiliating myself. Then I went to the reception. I was in line for the food with a groomsman standing next to me. I used tongs that were clasped together to get myself a chicken skewer. When I put the tongs back down, the clasp came undone splattering chicken grease and marinade all over the groomsman's white tuxedo shirt and also ruining his pants. I, of course, apologized and explained the mechanics of what had happened. It did occur to me that he took the ruining of his clothing well. Then I found out why.
For some reason in all of my worrying about the wedding, it had never occurred to me that there would be people there who were not aware that I was not a real preacher. This finally did dawn on me after drinking about 6 beers when someone said the following:
"You know, I knew a preacher one time and he used to drink some to. I never really saw anything wrong with it. I always thought a lot of him."
I premiered two bands Thursday. Both of which far exceeded my expectations.
James Spann and the Suspenders:
A ring girl (Spike in a bikini and high heels) who held up signs with the names of each song before we played them, a plethora of dancers, John Biggham dressed as Santa Clause throwing peppermints at people, a DJ with a video screen, original poetry about zebras and the movie Twister, and Casey and myself..... All for 4 songs.
Mansfield:
Named for Dr. Asshole for no particular reason. Barkeep Billa singing like a singer should. Rolling in the floor and jumping about.
Then theres the WEDDING:
I got ordained on the Internet a long time ago, and when Blaine Duncan asked if I would officiate his wedding, I did not think he was serious. I kept telling him things like, "I'm just going to fart into the microphone and say "Married!" and that I was going to end the ceremony by shooting bottle rockets from my sleeves. Turns out he was serious. So, the Friday after I played with the two above mentioned bands plus the Universe, I had to get up at 5:30am and go to Florida to officiate a beach side wedding.
When I got there, I realized that this was a REAL wedding. The family was there, there were flowers, brides maids, the whole bit. So I freaked out, locked myself in the bathroom, sat in the bath tub for many hours trying to figure out exactly what I was going to do. I convinced myself that I would screw up so badly that Kelly(the bride) would begin crying and storm off from her own wedding. Thankfully, everything went off without a hitch.
After the wedding, I was relieved to have made it through the weekend without humiliating myself. Then I went to the reception. I was in line for the food with a groomsman standing next to me. I used tongs that were clasped together to get myself a chicken skewer. When I put the tongs back down, the clasp came undone splattering chicken grease and marinade all over the groomsman's white tuxedo shirt and also ruining his pants. I, of course, apologized and explained the mechanics of what had happened. It did occur to me that he took the ruining of his clothing well. Then I found out why.
For some reason in all of my worrying about the wedding, it had never occurred to me that there would be people there who were not aware that I was not a real preacher. This finally did dawn on me after drinking about 6 beers when someone said the following:
"You know, I knew a preacher one time and he used to drink some to. I never really saw anything wrong with it. I always thought a lot of him."