(no subject)
i havent been around for a while and i cant say is a bad thing.
im doing my thing.
and staying as far away from the people who hurt as i can.
i know im crazy, btw.
i prove it to myself everyday everytime i scream out obscenities and make the people
i love most feel so vulnerable they cry.
its not that it wasnt given to me in the worst ways though, through my whole life.
i am every experience i ever lived, i am what all your words made me.
i am my sister's sister my parents daughter.
im living proof that everything happens for a reason.
im the result; the damage done.
i have big big dreams, and if my ambitions pay out in the long run i have amazing things ahead of me.
things i would never allow myself to obtain now, seeing as im still getting help.
i have over a year till i turn 18 and until the havok is reaked.
all over this country, and im excited as fuck.
im going to therapy every week, and a psychiatrist soon enough.
i've been diagnosed bi-polar and i can say its a relief, i know im not all right.
i can tell everytime i freak out have a "manic episode".
but dont worry babies those who are true i love, and i promise i can read you guys like my favorite story book, my favorite poem, hear you like my favorite song, and i will never hurt you.
those who wrong me, or who i am yet to completely trust. your going down.
with me as the martyr until you all diminish yourselves from my life.
i can honestly say i was a bad person, before i knew the true meaning of my madness and only used it for the negative, to hurt, because all i knew was being hurt, and being abandoned.
but if we're only here to learn the negative then why am i letting the big man win, i've been getting up and doing my own thing living out the rest of my life with and open mind and an open heart for those deserving.
to continue my life with warm words and a positive attitude for as long as i can possess it.
my manic moods dont come out until they are triggered.
im doing my best to control them, but respect has been a big steak on my plate lately.
and i can see it in your eyes if your down or if your shady, and shady doesnt go well in my book.
i miss knowing good people.
i hope to know them again soon.
someday, i have high hopes.
i know there are amazing people out there.
but my family comes first.
my mother who has overcome so much in her life and done so much for me and my siblings i am forever in debt to her and her love, i would have never become the person i am now without her compassion and understanding, i was never just another kid on the playground, and she truly saw that and nurtured it to the best of her ability.
my boyfriend who is more a soulmate;bestfriend then any other person i have ever met.
and my never ending ridicule of a sister, whom i have the highest hopes for, with a washed up head and a fading future,she is better then the people she keeps around her. [this is a stage i keep telling myself] and my youngest brother who i have all the expectations for in the world.
my older brother has done some great things, but he needs to get his head out of the gutter, and though i dont pray these days, im going to pray for him and his wife. and to the best with there lives, and hoping that he will grow up and stop wasting his money on his damned camaro's.
show me something amazing, aim>comeer samiiir
im getting my chest peice today, it reflects alot of what i said here.
as soon as i have pictures i'll put them up on my page.
im doing my thing.
and staying as far away from the people who hurt as i can.
i know im crazy, btw.
i prove it to myself everyday everytime i scream out obscenities and make the people
i love most feel so vulnerable they cry.
its not that it wasnt given to me in the worst ways though, through my whole life.
i am every experience i ever lived, i am what all your words made me.
i am my sister's sister my parents daughter.
im living proof that everything happens for a reason.
im the result; the damage done.
i have big big dreams, and if my ambitions pay out in the long run i have amazing things ahead of me.
things i would never allow myself to obtain now, seeing as im still getting help.
i have over a year till i turn 18 and until the havok is reaked.
all over this country, and im excited as fuck.
im going to therapy every week, and a psychiatrist soon enough.
i've been diagnosed bi-polar and i can say its a relief, i know im not all right.
i can tell everytime i freak out have a "manic episode".
but dont worry babies those who are true i love, and i promise i can read you guys like my favorite story book, my favorite poem, hear you like my favorite song, and i will never hurt you.
those who wrong me, or who i am yet to completely trust. your going down.
with me as the martyr until you all diminish yourselves from my life.
i can honestly say i was a bad person, before i knew the true meaning of my madness and only used it for the negative, to hurt, because all i knew was being hurt, and being abandoned.
but if we're only here to learn the negative then why am i letting the big man win, i've been getting up and doing my own thing living out the rest of my life with and open mind and an open heart for those deserving.
to continue my life with warm words and a positive attitude for as long as i can possess it.
my manic moods dont come out until they are triggered.
im doing my best to control them, but respect has been a big steak on my plate lately.
and i can see it in your eyes if your down or if your shady, and shady doesnt go well in my book.
i miss knowing good people.
i hope to know them again soon.
someday, i have high hopes.
i know there are amazing people out there.
but my family comes first.
my mother who has overcome so much in her life and done so much for me and my siblings i am forever in debt to her and her love, i would have never become the person i am now without her compassion and understanding, i was never just another kid on the playground, and she truly saw that and nurtured it to the best of her ability.
my boyfriend who is more a soulmate;bestfriend then any other person i have ever met.
and my never ending ridicule of a sister, whom i have the highest hopes for, with a washed up head and a fading future,she is better then the people she keeps around her. [this is a stage i keep telling myself] and my youngest brother who i have all the expectations for in the world.
my older brother has done some great things, but he needs to get his head out of the gutter, and though i dont pray these days, im going to pray for him and his wife. and to the best with there lives, and hoping that he will grow up and stop wasting his money on his damned camaro's.
show me something amazing, aim>comeer samiiir
im getting my chest peice today, it reflects alot of what i said here.
as soon as i have pictures i'll put them up on my page.