fic: He Had Survived
Title: He Had Survived
Rating: PG-13 for content
Characters: Sebastian Smythe, Blaine Anderson
Ships: Seblaine preslash if you want it to be. Otherwise gen.
Spoilers: Written post-Shooting Star so it's positively dripping with spoilers.
Summary: Blaine's point of view during the main event of the episode.
This wasn’t how his life was supposed to end. Blaine had it all planned out as one of his ways of coping with the breakup with Kurt: he planned out his life. Get accepted to Tisch at NYU, move to New York, spend four years there pursuing his degree while trying to get onto Broadway (and utilizing his connection with Rachel if need be) before he would step into stardom and those years in high school being single and taunted at a young age would be over.
Blaine was confident that he had so much more to live for that the thought of not living that life was alarming. He was crying, trying to hide his tears in his shoulder even though everyone was sobbing around him.
The bullet shot echoed in his ears.
It sounded dramatic, but Blaine’s life really did begin to flash before his eyes as he ran, collided with the metronome and eventually hid behind the piano. Regret bubbled its way to the surface of his mind. First the sad look on Kurt’s face that night in New York, then the look of disappointment on Sebastian’s face when Blaine told him the whole cheating story. Rachel rarely spoke to him, Tina wanted him but he kept letting her down. All those things that he felt bad about kept rising up, reminding him that he wasn’t as saint-like as he hoped he was.
Mr. Schuester told them to start texting, and Blaine just stared at his phone. He only really had Sam and Artie now. His parents were at work, they wouldn’t reply. Tina… well, Blaine was too scared to text her. If she didn’t text back, he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it. Not after everything they’d been through. The fear was too great.
The Warblers. After Blaine and Sam turned them in, very few of them actually kept in touch with Blaine anymore. Being disqualified could really turn some people against their friends. It had been a hard decision for Blaine at the time, and he’d only been looking out for them, but who did that leave him with? Nobody.
He stared down at Sebastian’s name for a minute. There was a fifty percent chance that Sebastian would blow him off or give him a snarky comment in reply. But the other fifty percent chance would be that Sebastian would actually care. Going for broke, Blaine scrambled a quick text message.
Blaine: Sebastian, I’m sorry. I’m scared. Please answer me right now I’m begging you.
Blaine heard other phones, vibrations making faint sounds against the hands of his peers. He stared at his iPhone, silently begging for Sebastian to reply. Blaine’s hands were shaking and he couldn’t stop the tears. His heart ached from beating, the adrenaline almost too much to handle. When it mixed with the fear, it was nearly unbearable. The vibrations in Blaine’s hand were a godsend, and he looked down at the text.
Sebastian: What’s going on?
He scrambled to type a message, taking twice as long because his hands were shaking so much.
Blaine: Someone shot a gun at school. Hiding under the piano. I’m so scared.
After that, the text messages got faster. Sebastian replied nearly a minute later, far shorter than the first texting time.
Sebastian: Are you hurt?
Blaine was flooded with relief when Sebastian seemed concerned. A new wave of tears fell down his face and he could hardly see past them as he typed his reply.
Blaine: I’m fine. Scared. Everyone’s crying. Can’t find Tina.
Sebastian probably wouldn’t know what to say to that, other than a comment on Blaine’s well-being, but if Blaine couldn’t get his feelings out somehow, he’d only get worse. He’d bottle everything up and start freaking out. Blaine’s attention was drawn away from his phone as he watched Mr. Schuester and Coach Beiste try to wrestle with Sam to keep him from leaving, and when Sam finally ended up on the floor in front of him, Blaine couldn’t bring himself to meet Sam’s eyes. It was hard to look at anyone because he’d never seen these people so vulnerable. Blaine’s phone vibrated again and he looked down.
Sebastian: We’ve got the news on. Cameramen are outside your school and I saw her by a school bus. She’s fine. Have you told your parents you’re okay?
Blaine looked down at his phone and let out a sigh of relief. He was fine and about to send a text message to his parents, but then someone’s phone started to ring. Blaine froze, eyes wide. Suddenly his heart started to beat harder and he curled into a smaller little ball on the floor. If someone outside heard the phone…
He didn’t want to think about it. Blaine looked down and buried his face in his knees as he tried to will the phone to stop ringing. He heard whispers and some hisses and then it stopped. Blaine’s phone vibrated again and he looked down.
Sebastian: Blaine, answer me. Is the shooter still there?
Sebastian was worried. Blaine hadn’t expected that, and he was so emotional that the thought of someone else out there worrying about him brought more tears to his eyes.
Blaine: I’m fine. Someone’s phone was ringing. I don’t know if the shooter is still here. Haven’t heard any more gunshots.
The tension was still high and Blaine didn’t really know what was happening, so he just stayed hidden. Artie held up his phone and asked them to say things, but every time words started to bubble to the tip of his tongue, Blaine just felt like crying instead. He covered his face and turned away, and thankfully Artie understood.
Sebastian: The news says they have a SWAT team in the school. You’ll be safe soon.
Blaine’s hands were shaking and he didn’t think that he’d ever be able to convey to Sebastian just how much of a relief it was to be able to talk to him. He kept wanting to type out thank you, or call him to thank him, but Blaine knew that he couldn’t. It was a lot more complicated than that. Sebastian could be sympathizing because of the situation rather than concern for Blaine, and after everything else, Blaine knew that was likely the case. He imagined lots of things and feelings that others didn’t really have.
Blaine: Doesn’t make it any less scary.
He didn’t even think about how he might sound to Sebastian. Rude, snarky - any range of words that were usually attributed to Sebastian were now coming out of Blaine’s mouth. Or rather, through his fingertips.
Sebastian: I know. Just hang in there.
Blaine didn’t know what to say to that. Before he could think of the words, he heard people shouting an all-clear. He let out a deep breath and just leaned back, his head against the piano. They hugged, everyone cried, and Blaine couldn’t bring himself to form words. His parents hadn’t even texted him, so he assumed they didn’t know yet, but they’d know soon and then they’d insist he return to Dalton. But after going through something like this with these kids, the show choir he’d known to love like a family, he couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t. He only had a few months left, anyway.
No more text messages appeared on his phone, and Blaine wasn’t surprised in the least. He let Brittany and Sam have their moment, and by the time he reached the parking lot, Tina’s car was nowhere to be found. The parking lot was a mess. Kids and their parents and dozens of buses; it was chaos. Blaine couldn’t make sense of it and it was too overwhelming. His senses that day had been completely overstimulated and he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t handle it.
Rooted to the spot, Blaine just stood there in the parking lot and felt the breeze over his skin. He closed his eyes and tried to calm his heart, but the adrenaline just kept it pumping fast, a reminder of everything he’d just been through. The tears were drying on his cheeks and his eyes felt heavy. Blaine was exhausted. He may have sat on a floor for what felt like hours, cowering in fear, but his body felt like it had just run a marathon. He felt like he’d been through a dozen sessions of booty camp plus a whole week’s worth of Cheerios practices.
Blaine was only torn from this moment of peaceful chaos when he felt strong arms engulf him in a hug. Instinctively, Blaine wrapped his arms around the body. Whoever it was felt slender, warm; they weren’t Sam. Blaine slowly opened his eyes to see a blue blazer, red piping, and someone much taller than him. Sebastian.
Any human contact seemed to reduce Blaine to tears in that moment, and he closed his eyes and just cried as he let Sebastian hold him. “It’s okay, Blaine,” Sebastian whispered softly. He held Blaine so gingerly, so tenderly like he was fragile yet needed a firm hold to keep from crumbling apart. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
Blaine just held Sebastian in return, his knuckles white as he grappled to hold Sebastian closer, tighter, as if to affirm the fact that he’d truly just survived that. Words completely failed Blaine as Sebastian muttered little condolences and comforts, his arms never once leaving Blaine’s body.
They stood and hugged and Blaine cried until he had no more tears. He was moments away from falling asleep right there in Sebastian’s arms, standing up straight in the parking lot. But at the same time, the thought of sleeping scared Blaine. The memories of the afternoon threatened to come back, to flood into his brain and remind him of it all. He’d have nightmares for weeks. “Let me take you home,” Sebastian insisted.
Blaine didn’t even think about his car, or how he’d get it back to his house, because he was too tired and he knew it wouldn’t be safe to drive himself. “Sure,” he said softly.
Sebastian’s hand was soft and comforting as he led Blaine to the back of the parking lot, away from the hugging parents and children and the tears and sobbing and the “I’m so glad you’re okay!” exclamations. They were reminders of what Blaine didn’t have, but yet what he’d gotten in a completely different form. He climbed into Sebastian’s car and just leaned backwards. His head rested against the back of the seat and he stared out the window, his expression dead and blank as they drove.
How Sebastian knew where Blaine lived, he’d never know, and he didn’t care to know. What mattered is that someone had shown up at that school, just like someone had for all the other students, and that this someone happened to care about Blaine so much. Blaine led Sebastian into his house and towards his room, and Sebastian faltered before crossing the threshold. “Are you okay with this?” he asked nervously.
Blaine just nodded, too tired to deal with formalities or any hesitance whatsoever. What he needed was to be held. Blaine needed comfort and healing and to just know that someone cared. He needed to know that while he’d been worried sick about Tina, someone had felt the same about him.
Sebastian kicked off his shoes and took off his blazer, choosing to remove his tie and unbutton the top button on his shirt to get more comfortable. He knew he’d be there for a while. Blaine climbed onto the bed and cuddled up to Sebastian without a thought towards decorum, or without bothering to ask if it was okay with him. Blaine knew what he needed and he was thankful he could have it.
He leaned in and rested his head on Sebastian’s chest. “Thank you,” Blaine whispered softly against Sebastian’s chest, his eyes drooping but the fear of sleeping still ever-present.
“No need to thank me,” Sebastian replied softly. He kissed the top of Blaine’s head and said, “Rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Blaine closed his eyes, but his thoughts wouldn’t slow down. Sleep wasn’t going to happen, but the comfort that he didn’t have to cope on his own was enough to keep him still and relaxed. He was going to be okay. He just had to keep reminding himself of that: he was okay. Blaine had survived.
Rating: PG-13 for content
Characters: Sebastian Smythe, Blaine Anderson
Ships: Seblaine preslash if you want it to be. Otherwise gen.
Spoilers: Written post-Shooting Star so it's positively dripping with spoilers.
Summary: Blaine's point of view during the main event of the episode.
This wasn’t how his life was supposed to end. Blaine had it all planned out as one of his ways of coping with the breakup with Kurt: he planned out his life. Get accepted to Tisch at NYU, move to New York, spend four years there pursuing his degree while trying to get onto Broadway (and utilizing his connection with Rachel if need be) before he would step into stardom and those years in high school being single and taunted at a young age would be over.
Blaine was confident that he had so much more to live for that the thought of not living that life was alarming. He was crying, trying to hide his tears in his shoulder even though everyone was sobbing around him.
The bullet shot echoed in his ears.
It sounded dramatic, but Blaine’s life really did begin to flash before his eyes as he ran, collided with the metronome and eventually hid behind the piano. Regret bubbled its way to the surface of his mind. First the sad look on Kurt’s face that night in New York, then the look of disappointment on Sebastian’s face when Blaine told him the whole cheating story. Rachel rarely spoke to him, Tina wanted him but he kept letting her down. All those things that he felt bad about kept rising up, reminding him that he wasn’t as saint-like as he hoped he was.
Mr. Schuester told them to start texting, and Blaine just stared at his phone. He only really had Sam and Artie now. His parents were at work, they wouldn’t reply. Tina… well, Blaine was too scared to text her. If she didn’t text back, he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it. Not after everything they’d been through. The fear was too great.
The Warblers. After Blaine and Sam turned them in, very few of them actually kept in touch with Blaine anymore. Being disqualified could really turn some people against their friends. It had been a hard decision for Blaine at the time, and he’d only been looking out for them, but who did that leave him with? Nobody.
He stared down at Sebastian’s name for a minute. There was a fifty percent chance that Sebastian would blow him off or give him a snarky comment in reply. But the other fifty percent chance would be that Sebastian would actually care. Going for broke, Blaine scrambled a quick text message.
Blaine: Sebastian, I’m sorry. I’m scared. Please answer me right now I’m begging you.
Blaine heard other phones, vibrations making faint sounds against the hands of his peers. He stared at his iPhone, silently begging for Sebastian to reply. Blaine’s hands were shaking and he couldn’t stop the tears. His heart ached from beating, the adrenaline almost too much to handle. When it mixed with the fear, it was nearly unbearable. The vibrations in Blaine’s hand were a godsend, and he looked down at the text.
Sebastian: What’s going on?
He scrambled to type a message, taking twice as long because his hands were shaking so much.
Blaine: Someone shot a gun at school. Hiding under the piano. I’m so scared.
After that, the text messages got faster. Sebastian replied nearly a minute later, far shorter than the first texting time.
Sebastian: Are you hurt?
Blaine was flooded with relief when Sebastian seemed concerned. A new wave of tears fell down his face and he could hardly see past them as he typed his reply.
Blaine: I’m fine. Scared. Everyone’s crying. Can’t find Tina.
Sebastian probably wouldn’t know what to say to that, other than a comment on Blaine’s well-being, but if Blaine couldn’t get his feelings out somehow, he’d only get worse. He’d bottle everything up and start freaking out. Blaine’s attention was drawn away from his phone as he watched Mr. Schuester and Coach Beiste try to wrestle with Sam to keep him from leaving, and when Sam finally ended up on the floor in front of him, Blaine couldn’t bring himself to meet Sam’s eyes. It was hard to look at anyone because he’d never seen these people so vulnerable. Blaine’s phone vibrated again and he looked down.
Sebastian: We’ve got the news on. Cameramen are outside your school and I saw her by a school bus. She’s fine. Have you told your parents you’re okay?
Blaine looked down at his phone and let out a sigh of relief. He was fine and about to send a text message to his parents, but then someone’s phone started to ring. Blaine froze, eyes wide. Suddenly his heart started to beat harder and he curled into a smaller little ball on the floor. If someone outside heard the phone…
He didn’t want to think about it. Blaine looked down and buried his face in his knees as he tried to will the phone to stop ringing. He heard whispers and some hisses and then it stopped. Blaine’s phone vibrated again and he looked down.
Sebastian: Blaine, answer me. Is the shooter still there?
Sebastian was worried. Blaine hadn’t expected that, and he was so emotional that the thought of someone else out there worrying about him brought more tears to his eyes.
Blaine: I’m fine. Someone’s phone was ringing. I don’t know if the shooter is still here. Haven’t heard any more gunshots.
The tension was still high and Blaine didn’t really know what was happening, so he just stayed hidden. Artie held up his phone and asked them to say things, but every time words started to bubble to the tip of his tongue, Blaine just felt like crying instead. He covered his face and turned away, and thankfully Artie understood.
Sebastian: The news says they have a SWAT team in the school. You’ll be safe soon.
Blaine’s hands were shaking and he didn’t think that he’d ever be able to convey to Sebastian just how much of a relief it was to be able to talk to him. He kept wanting to type out thank you, or call him to thank him, but Blaine knew that he couldn’t. It was a lot more complicated than that. Sebastian could be sympathizing because of the situation rather than concern for Blaine, and after everything else, Blaine knew that was likely the case. He imagined lots of things and feelings that others didn’t really have.
Blaine: Doesn’t make it any less scary.
He didn’t even think about how he might sound to Sebastian. Rude, snarky - any range of words that were usually attributed to Sebastian were now coming out of Blaine’s mouth. Or rather, through his fingertips.
Sebastian: I know. Just hang in there.
Blaine didn’t know what to say to that. Before he could think of the words, he heard people shouting an all-clear. He let out a deep breath and just leaned back, his head against the piano. They hugged, everyone cried, and Blaine couldn’t bring himself to form words. His parents hadn’t even texted him, so he assumed they didn’t know yet, but they’d know soon and then they’d insist he return to Dalton. But after going through something like this with these kids, the show choir he’d known to love like a family, he couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t. He only had a few months left, anyway.
No more text messages appeared on his phone, and Blaine wasn’t surprised in the least. He let Brittany and Sam have their moment, and by the time he reached the parking lot, Tina’s car was nowhere to be found. The parking lot was a mess. Kids and their parents and dozens of buses; it was chaos. Blaine couldn’t make sense of it and it was too overwhelming. His senses that day had been completely overstimulated and he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t handle it.
Rooted to the spot, Blaine just stood there in the parking lot and felt the breeze over his skin. He closed his eyes and tried to calm his heart, but the adrenaline just kept it pumping fast, a reminder of everything he’d just been through. The tears were drying on his cheeks and his eyes felt heavy. Blaine was exhausted. He may have sat on a floor for what felt like hours, cowering in fear, but his body felt like it had just run a marathon. He felt like he’d been through a dozen sessions of booty camp plus a whole week’s worth of Cheerios practices.
Blaine was only torn from this moment of peaceful chaos when he felt strong arms engulf him in a hug. Instinctively, Blaine wrapped his arms around the body. Whoever it was felt slender, warm; they weren’t Sam. Blaine slowly opened his eyes to see a blue blazer, red piping, and someone much taller than him. Sebastian.
Any human contact seemed to reduce Blaine to tears in that moment, and he closed his eyes and just cried as he let Sebastian hold him. “It’s okay, Blaine,” Sebastian whispered softly. He held Blaine so gingerly, so tenderly like he was fragile yet needed a firm hold to keep from crumbling apart. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
Blaine just held Sebastian in return, his knuckles white as he grappled to hold Sebastian closer, tighter, as if to affirm the fact that he’d truly just survived that. Words completely failed Blaine as Sebastian muttered little condolences and comforts, his arms never once leaving Blaine’s body.
They stood and hugged and Blaine cried until he had no more tears. He was moments away from falling asleep right there in Sebastian’s arms, standing up straight in the parking lot. But at the same time, the thought of sleeping scared Blaine. The memories of the afternoon threatened to come back, to flood into his brain and remind him of it all. He’d have nightmares for weeks. “Let me take you home,” Sebastian insisted.
Blaine didn’t even think about his car, or how he’d get it back to his house, because he was too tired and he knew it wouldn’t be safe to drive himself. “Sure,” he said softly.
Sebastian’s hand was soft and comforting as he led Blaine to the back of the parking lot, away from the hugging parents and children and the tears and sobbing and the “I’m so glad you’re okay!” exclamations. They were reminders of what Blaine didn’t have, but yet what he’d gotten in a completely different form. He climbed into Sebastian’s car and just leaned backwards. His head rested against the back of the seat and he stared out the window, his expression dead and blank as they drove.
How Sebastian knew where Blaine lived, he’d never know, and he didn’t care to know. What mattered is that someone had shown up at that school, just like someone had for all the other students, and that this someone happened to care about Blaine so much. Blaine led Sebastian into his house and towards his room, and Sebastian faltered before crossing the threshold. “Are you okay with this?” he asked nervously.
Blaine just nodded, too tired to deal with formalities or any hesitance whatsoever. What he needed was to be held. Blaine needed comfort and healing and to just know that someone cared. He needed to know that while he’d been worried sick about Tina, someone had felt the same about him.
Sebastian kicked off his shoes and took off his blazer, choosing to remove his tie and unbutton the top button on his shirt to get more comfortable. He knew he’d be there for a while. Blaine climbed onto the bed and cuddled up to Sebastian without a thought towards decorum, or without bothering to ask if it was okay with him. Blaine knew what he needed and he was thankful he could have it.
He leaned in and rested his head on Sebastian’s chest. “Thank you,” Blaine whispered softly against Sebastian’s chest, his eyes drooping but the fear of sleeping still ever-present.
“No need to thank me,” Sebastian replied softly. He kissed the top of Blaine’s head and said, “Rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Blaine closed his eyes, but his thoughts wouldn’t slow down. Sleep wasn’t going to happen, but the comfort that he didn’t have to cope on his own was enough to keep him still and relaxed. He was going to be okay. He just had to keep reminding himself of that: he was okay. Blaine had survived.