This Year
What have I done this year? I was just thinking about it. I worked at Taco Bell, and nearly killed my self. My parents and I were bitching at one another while I was home for awhile, so I rarely went home. My GPA dropped. I barely got through the first semester with out having going completely insane. This semester, I finally got work under control, but I still fell behind in school. I've had a lot of money issues. I ended an eight year relationship, and I'm trying not to feel too guilty. But part of me still thinks that I overreacted. I've been too busy digging around in my past, to realize that my present is falling apart. I'm falling apart. I want to hate her, I really do, but at the same time I wish I could have a reason to love her, other than the fact that I'm alive. I want to hate him with a passion, but I feel its my fault too. (not just larry) I want to hate everyone for always assuming that I'm the perfect student, the perfect daughter, the perfect friend with a strong head on her shoulders, who will do anything for anyone. What's worse, is that those aren't anyone's expectations. Those are mine, that I can't live up to. I'm unmotivated. I want to be a teacher, but how can I do that when even I can't get motivated. What a role model huh? Why do I give my heart to people. Why do I trust people? Why did I trust him? Why can't I trust those people who are closest to me?