Santa was here again
ARC-style
They go through with it because they have no choice. Actually, they’d have about a million choices but Ryan decided it’s going to be this (in his no bullshit voice and with pained eyes) and neither of them feel they have the right to disagree in the slightest. Ditzy because his conscience has finally kicked in and Connor is just plain scared, scared of losing Ryan too (he’s not good with losing people).
It’s going to be the highlight of the year. Ryan in his uniform, looking all handsome and heroic, Connor in clothes entirely chosen by The Scary Three (i.e. Jenny, Sarah, and Abby) but wearing his fingerless gloves because he knows Ryan loves them. And Ditzy with his brightest smile and dry humour the perfect best man Connor could want.
It’s perfect. The perfect lie, á la ARC style.
Mini break
It started with an anomaly, as things usually do around here. Connor wanted to check something out, Ryan called him a bloody idiot but followed through, and the anomaly closed unexpectedly for three days. When it reopened to general rejoicing Ryan and Connor turned out to be just fine and in a relationship. It probably said a lot about the ARC personnel’s mental state that no one even raised an eyebrow about this even if Ditzy made a great show about having to check out Ryan’s brain functions just in case. Everybody laughed, Ryan patted his friend on the shoulder, and Connor tried not to look unreasonably offended (and failed).
Status quo
It was an open secret that Connor and Ditzy didn’t like each other. Ditzy was all professional about it and only a bit grumpier than usual when the boy ended up in his care after every other anomaly occurrence. Connor was happy with Ryan at his side and slowly learned to hide his kicked puppy look at being on such bad terms with one of his boyfriend’s best friends reasonably well. And even Sam knew better than to meddle with this status quo.
Happily Ever After?
Three months, two weeks, and six days after their mini break in the cretaceous Ryan proposed.
Lyle cracked a few jokes, the girls found it adorable, Sam decided she might just have to watch Star Wars after all but only after a grand celebration with the lads in the nearby pub at which Lester reminded them he doesn’t give a rat’s arse about impending nuptials only sudden dinosaur-induced gory death so would they please keep the alcohol to a minimum.
Ditzy didn’t say anything and though no one saw him at the pub he seemed just as hung-over the next morning as everybody else.
Quasi-angsty
The conversation between Ryan and Ditzy after a week of snapped remarks - “Try to be nice to him.” “I am nice.” “The fuck you are… please, for our friendship’s sake.” - could have been an exact quotation from your general quasi-angsty American romantic-comedy, according to Jenny, who wasn’t eavesdropping just passing by (and it’s her job to hear everything, anyway, as she didn’t fail to point out).
PC
When Ryan came out as gay to his superiors there was a bit of an upsurge in the discussions about gay rights. Of course due to his work nothing about his or Connor’s identity could be revealed but the fact that a Special Forces captain had openly admitted to an alternative lifestyle had somehow leaked out to the press and soon they found Jenny riding the gossip mill like she’d been born for this alone. Thanks to her the press more often than not ignored offensive remarks and the general public was gently manipulated into the right direction. Jenny felt smug about their success, Ryan felt proud and very relieved, Connor just felt very small.
Business as usual
Everybody was tiptoeing around Connor as if he could break any second during those days Ryan was fighting for his life. The sabertooth had come out of nowhere, Ditzy did his best, so did the medical staff specially brought to the ARC but at one point all there was left to do was to hope.
Connor didn’t cry and kept repeating with utmost certainty that Ryan would be just fine, they had the ceremony to plan, after all. He looked paler and weaker after each sleepless night at Ryan’s bedside but nobody dared talk to him about rest until finally Ditzy had enough and took matters in his own hands.
Connor finally slept through the night on the bed next to his fiancé, Ryan got better eventually, and everything was as it had been before.
Except it wasn’t.
Nothing at all or something
Ditzy decided right after to have momentary memory loss. He wouldn’t remember opening Connor’s fly and certainly wouldn’t remember closing his fingers around the warm weight of Connor’s soft cock. It had been stress-relief. Purely medical. Not the first bloody time he had done this for a mate and probably not the last either, sometimes a quick wank was the best medicine, after all. The boy had been tightly wound, unable to rest, it was his duty to… his duty to Ryan… But then Connor had thrown his head back with a surprised gasp as he came and his open mouth was met with a needy kiss which Ditzy would never admit to have started.
He definitely hasn’t been wanking for weeks to the image of Connor in ecstasy. He hasn’t been avoiding the boy at all cost either. He wasn’t scared when Ryan finally woke up. And he hasn’t been haunted by big brown puppy eyes every night. Not more than before - and that that last statement is even true at least.
Loss and Gain
Connor tried to talk to Stephen, as some sort of a specialist in these matters, and decided to do the exact opposite of what Stephen would suggest but Leek and a few random predators rather effectively ruined his well-lade plans.
The night of Stephen’s death he asked Ryan to make the pain go away.
A few minutes later Connor found himself tied to the bed, completely exposed and too terrified to ask Ryan to stop. His orgasm tasted of tears and fear but he came harder than ever before and falling apart in Ryan’s protective embrace afterwards felt like having finally found a home.
Two
“It meant nothing,” was Ditzy’s mantra every single time Connor cornered him about the incident and every time momentary relief washed over the boy’s too expressive face Ditzy wanted to punch a few walls. The fifteenth time (not that he’s been counting) he was finally fed up and pulled Connor into a sudden kiss, and as soon as it happened he wanted to kick himself in the balls.
Three
Ignoring Connor would have been so much easier if he didn’t have a tendency of getting himself into trouble every second day even on better weeks.
“We need to talk about this.”
“No we don’t.”
“But… you’re giving these bloody mixed signals, first being all cold and unfriendly and then… well, you know…”
“Shut up, Temple.”
“But… you kissed me. Twice.”
“Make that: three times.”
Broken and whole
Connor pulled him into a hasty kiss as soon as Ditzy opened the door, already half-drunk on his way out of misery (losing a patient, the leader of the bloody project no less, will do that to you). Ryan was being debriefed, Connor wasn’t ready to cope with Cutter’s death just yet (or preferably ever, really), and Ditzy’s flat was closer than Abby’s.
It was quick and just a bit pathetic and probably neither would remember the details in the morning but Ditzy held Connor as he cried himself to sleep and somehow the world seemed whole again.
Frantic
Connor threw himself into the preparations with almost as much fervour as into rebuilding his precious Anomaly Detector. Ryan was watching him fondly with just a bit of worry in his eyes and asked Ditzy if Connor’s paleness was normal. Ditzy just shrugged and almost like an afterthought added that Connor just needed rest more than long hours of kinky sex. He got punched by Connor for that later but the frantic lovemaking that followed was worth a few bruises.
Missed chance
It was not until they saw Ryan standing in the open door, looking at their entangled bodies, that Ditzy realizes he never actually got the chance to tell Connor he loved him.
Dead ends
Ryan’s ultimatum was fair. They would go through with the ceremony as if nothing had happened, either that, or he’d leave without ever looking back. There really was no choice, both Connor and Ditzy knew that.
There could have been many other ways, they could even have embraced a shared path for all three of them in peaceful happiness, but Ryan was too intent on creating a picture perfect background so he would have the chance to fight bitterly for what should be their right in the first place.
It was easier to forgive the man he loved and his good friend for screwing around for months than giving up on a dream.
We look pretty happy…
Connor had wanted Stephen as his best man first, then he had chosen Cutter. Ditzy is Ryan’s choice now, maybe as a show of unity to fight the silent but persistent gossip, maybe just a bit out of revenge too. At any case, it doesn’t fail its aim.
The photos made on the big day are carefully put into an album. One about just the two of them makes it to Ryan’s nightstand, and a group photo is framed and put on the bookshelf in the living room.
And when 35 years later Martin Ryan-Temple Jr. looks at his grandfathers’ wedding photo he doesn’t understand why Uncle Dave has his fingers entwined with Grandpapa Connor.