Angst I never knew I had
At long last, i'm back.
So how does it feel to be 19? Well, pretty much the same, but busier. School and rehearsals have been squeezing me dry, so i haven't really been able to blog although so much has been happening. Stages of Love was a hit and a blast, and it opened a lot of opportunities for blueREP. SM megamall hired us to perform, and my tita who teaches at Assumption College might hire us to bring the show there as well. And also, I keep giving myself responibilities by accident. How I become in charge of this and that, i will never know. It's no wonder my sickness never seems to die down!What's worse is that we just had our 1 mile run yesterday for PE in the friggin rain without warming up or cooling down. The result: my lower body aches like anything.
I want to do soooo many things, but time will always and forever be against me. It's not fair, by the time Lea Salonga was my age, she was already in Miss Saigon! ;( and dreams I've had are starting to change, so know I'm not sure what to do, or what i want to do. I wish college lasted for more than 4 years. It'll probably take much longer than that for me to finally figure stuff out. Siiiiiigh. And ahhh, yes. I am once again suffering from writer's block. A million things i want to say gone down the drain again. And also due to the fear of what i say being misinterpreted again.
Oh what the hey. Let's do it.
A few things i just want to let out of my system. After all, i'm 19 and am still entitled to a bit of teenage angst, right?
1. To you whose company and friendship i used to treasure so much... it's sad that you weren't who i hoped you were, and that i must be the only one who really sees past you. Sometimes i just wish you'd worry about people other than yourself, and be a tad more sensitive to what others are feeling. I'm not the first, y'know.
2. To you who i spent everyday with for 2 straight months, yapping and ranting senselessly about anything under the sun...one day we'll find what we've been looking for, but till then i'm always here. i miss you.
3. To you who's seen me transform from little miss prim-and-proper to the incredible hulk countless times, taken the full blow of my wrath and tantrums and what-not's... although we're far away i hope you know i'm always here for you. Please don't drown yourself too much in responsibilities that aren't even yours in the first place, therefore causing too much stress. I guess that's our common sickness, hehe. I must admit i felt a little bad about last week... i just missed you,that's all. And i know that some of your stress is really unnecessary. Don't murder yourself please! >;p
4.To you whom I used to look forward to hanging out with and talking to so much... I thought you'd be different. You can do so much better than that.
5. To you who's made me lose more and more of my sanity with each day for the last 2 years in both good and bad ways... I wish you'd know what you want. There are things we can change and some we really can't. I hope you're not just torturing yourself, and me as well. I'm waking up fast.
6. To you who knows me and what i want more than anyone else ever will... I still am trying to be as patient as ever, but please don't let it end in vain. I'm still keeping you in charge.
So how does it feel to be 19? Well, pretty much the same, but busier. School and rehearsals have been squeezing me dry, so i haven't really been able to blog although so much has been happening. Stages of Love was a hit and a blast, and it opened a lot of opportunities for blueREP. SM megamall hired us to perform, and my tita who teaches at Assumption College might hire us to bring the show there as well. And also, I keep giving myself responibilities by accident. How I become in charge of this and that, i will never know. It's no wonder my sickness never seems to die down!What's worse is that we just had our 1 mile run yesterday for PE in the friggin rain without warming up or cooling down. The result: my lower body aches like anything.
I want to do soooo many things, but time will always and forever be against me. It's not fair, by the time Lea Salonga was my age, she was already in Miss Saigon! ;( and dreams I've had are starting to change, so know I'm not sure what to do, or what i want to do. I wish college lasted for more than 4 years. It'll probably take much longer than that for me to finally figure stuff out. Siiiiiigh. And ahhh, yes. I am once again suffering from writer's block. A million things i want to say gone down the drain again. And also due to the fear of what i say being misinterpreted again.
Oh what the hey. Let's do it.
A few things i just want to let out of my system. After all, i'm 19 and am still entitled to a bit of teenage angst, right?
1. To you whose company and friendship i used to treasure so much... it's sad that you weren't who i hoped you were, and that i must be the only one who really sees past you. Sometimes i just wish you'd worry about people other than yourself, and be a tad more sensitive to what others are feeling. I'm not the first, y'know.
2. To you who i spent everyday with for 2 straight months, yapping and ranting senselessly about anything under the sun...one day we'll find what we've been looking for, but till then i'm always here. i miss you.
3. To you who's seen me transform from little miss prim-and-proper to the incredible hulk countless times, taken the full blow of my wrath and tantrums and what-not's... although we're far away i hope you know i'm always here for you. Please don't drown yourself too much in responsibilities that aren't even yours in the first place, therefore causing too much stress. I guess that's our common sickness, hehe. I must admit i felt a little bad about last week... i just missed you,that's all. And i know that some of your stress is really unnecessary. Don't murder yourself please! >;p
4.To you whom I used to look forward to hanging out with and talking to so much... I thought you'd be different. You can do so much better than that.
5. To you who's made me lose more and more of my sanity with each day for the last 2 years in both good and bad ways... I wish you'd know what you want. There are things we can change and some we really can't. I hope you're not just torturing yourself, and me as well. I'm waking up fast.
6. To you who knows me and what i want more than anyone else ever will... I still am trying to be as patient as ever, but please don't let it end in vain. I'm still keeping you in charge.