Ah Music, A Magic Far Beyond All We Do Here
On one of my recent Wiki-crawls I came across a phrase that really caught my attention. Of course, I'm too dumb to have actually written it down, or even where I found it (was it on CNN? My Harry Potter research? Who knows), but the note I made in my margin was something to the effect of "precocious adolescents, protracted adolescence." What it comes down to is basically this: children are in an increasing hurry to hurry to grow up, and adults are increasingly reluctant to let go of their youth.
I don't know if any scientific studies have been done, but I can certainly provide anecdotal evidence. I know that I was in NO hurry to grow up, and actively resented any indications that I should. I fought with my mother tooth and nail against wearing a bra, and I was playing with Barbies until I was 14. I don't know a lot of little kids now, but I know my coworker Nana's daughter just turned 10, and she's already only interested in mani-pedis and Beyonce and the like. In fact, the only "toy" both of her kids play with are their video games, and those are clearly meant for adults as well. They just don't seem to have any of what you would call the typical little kid interests. Sure, her son plays on a kiddie baseball team, but baseball is an adult sport as well.
Hell, even my niece seems to have little interest in toys. She'd much rather raid my makeup box and "be pretty". Or play with my "puter". And while I know kids have always shown a fascination with grown-up things, it usually isn't to the exclusion of childhood things. (She does, however, seem to love cartoons and kiddie movies, so at least she's still got that going on. I don't think Nana's kids do.)
And as for protracted adolescence...well, just look at us. All of us. Yes, I know that part of the mark of a thinking individual is to examine for yourself what society expects, and make deliberate informed decisions as to what you want to do, rather than blindly following tradition or perceived norms...but you can rationalize anything if you're good at it. And I happen to know I'm very good at it.
On the other hand, what IS "being an adult"? I've got a job--but a lot of teenagers have jobs, too, that's not a hallmark of adulthood. I don't have a "career", as in something I studied for, am passionate about, and can see a clear path to growth in, but I don't really want one. (Which is, perhaps, a deficiency in and of itself.) Where was my mother at my age? Married, sure. But I really don't think marital status is the mark of a mature individual. Or even a healthy one. Okay, she had a child already--but I don't want one. We're not the first generation to not have children, I think we all know childless couples of all ages. So that can't be a deciding factor. And my folks owned a house, but Mom couldn't have afforded one on her own, so is that a standard I should hold myself to either?
Cosplay, I know, seems very immature on the surface; we're running around playing dress-up. But, shoot, aren't adults allowed to have hobbies? What makes one hobby "mature" and another "immature"?
It may be a state of mind. It may be that a lot of us had very tame experiences in our 20s, and are looking to make up for it in our 30s. Which is, granted, pretty immature. But I'm a big fan of doing things when you feel ready for them, and not before. One of the reasons I didn't go out drinking and clubbing in my 20s is because I was still in school, and I didn't have a job so I didn't have money to burn. Same thing with going to concerts, or spring break, or any of the fun things you associate with your 20s. To put it another way, I wasn't ready then. But I feel ready now. Should I not be doing these things, because you look kind of pathetic if you're 30 years old and dancing onstage at spring break?
For what it's worth, that's not a rhetorical question. Yeah, it's easy to say do what you enjoy, and hang what anybody else thinks. But it just doesn't work that way. If any of you saw a 30 year old playing Barbies--and I'm not just talking about dressing up doll and photographing them like some of you do with your BJDs, I'm talking about actually making the dolls walk and talk and enacting entire scenarios with them--with another 30 year old, wouldn't you think there was something wrong with her? Might you not be right? And besides, the maxim collapses when what other people think negatively affects your enjoyment.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: do you think kids are growing up too fast? Do you think adults are refusing to grow up at all? And do you think there's anything wrong with either of those?
I don't know if any scientific studies have been done, but I can certainly provide anecdotal evidence. I know that I was in NO hurry to grow up, and actively resented any indications that I should. I fought with my mother tooth and nail against wearing a bra, and I was playing with Barbies until I was 14. I don't know a lot of little kids now, but I know my coworker Nana's daughter just turned 10, and she's already only interested in mani-pedis and Beyonce and the like. In fact, the only "toy" both of her kids play with are their video games, and those are clearly meant for adults as well. They just don't seem to have any of what you would call the typical little kid interests. Sure, her son plays on a kiddie baseball team, but baseball is an adult sport as well.
Hell, even my niece seems to have little interest in toys. She'd much rather raid my makeup box and "be pretty". Or play with my "puter". And while I know kids have always shown a fascination with grown-up things, it usually isn't to the exclusion of childhood things. (She does, however, seem to love cartoons and kiddie movies, so at least she's still got that going on. I don't think Nana's kids do.)
And as for protracted adolescence...well, just look at us. All of us. Yes, I know that part of the mark of a thinking individual is to examine for yourself what society expects, and make deliberate informed decisions as to what you want to do, rather than blindly following tradition or perceived norms...but you can rationalize anything if you're good at it. And I happen to know I'm very good at it.
On the other hand, what IS "being an adult"? I've got a job--but a lot of teenagers have jobs, too, that's not a hallmark of adulthood. I don't have a "career", as in something I studied for, am passionate about, and can see a clear path to growth in, but I don't really want one. (Which is, perhaps, a deficiency in and of itself.) Where was my mother at my age? Married, sure. But I really don't think marital status is the mark of a mature individual. Or even a healthy one. Okay, she had a child already--but I don't want one. We're not the first generation to not have children, I think we all know childless couples of all ages. So that can't be a deciding factor. And my folks owned a house, but Mom couldn't have afforded one on her own, so is that a standard I should hold myself to either?
Cosplay, I know, seems very immature on the surface; we're running around playing dress-up. But, shoot, aren't adults allowed to have hobbies? What makes one hobby "mature" and another "immature"?
It may be a state of mind. It may be that a lot of us had very tame experiences in our 20s, and are looking to make up for it in our 30s. Which is, granted, pretty immature. But I'm a big fan of doing things when you feel ready for them, and not before. One of the reasons I didn't go out drinking and clubbing in my 20s is because I was still in school, and I didn't have a job so I didn't have money to burn. Same thing with going to concerts, or spring break, or any of the fun things you associate with your 20s. To put it another way, I wasn't ready then. But I feel ready now. Should I not be doing these things, because you look kind of pathetic if you're 30 years old and dancing onstage at spring break?
For what it's worth, that's not a rhetorical question. Yeah, it's easy to say do what you enjoy, and hang what anybody else thinks. But it just doesn't work that way. If any of you saw a 30 year old playing Barbies--and I'm not just talking about dressing up doll and photographing them like some of you do with your BJDs, I'm talking about actually making the dolls walk and talk and enacting entire scenarios with them--with another 30 year old, wouldn't you think there was something wrong with her? Might you not be right? And besides, the maxim collapses when what other people think negatively affects your enjoyment.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: do you think kids are growing up too fast? Do you think adults are refusing to grow up at all? And do you think there's anything wrong with either of those?