My eyes are made of water ...
my eyes are made of water
and my blood is made of water
do you cry to see me fumbling through
this ocean of an obstacle?
you, the bridge builder
you, who walks on water
do you cry to see me swimming in my
deep, deep wells?
my bones are made from dust
and my flesh is made from dust
do you wonder how I get so far away
from simple trust?
my pulse is born of rhythm
and my cycles turn in rhythm
is it sad that seasons change and I'm
still green?
I cry water, pray for your living water
wash my earth stained fingers
though we see things as through a glass--
this is as clear as it gets here
though we see things as through a glass--
this is as clear as it gets here
-- Crywater Prayer (Madison Greene)
It's been a hella rough week. And probably will be another rough one this week. Just in time for my birthday, yes, precious.
Easter was ... pretty good. It was hard to spend that service watching the kids. We hid Easter Eggs and had fun, but it wasn't ... the High and Holy my heart was wishing for. If we're in a better place next year, and I'm still doing the nursery, I may go to the Vigil by myself and then I'll be all ready to "serve" during Easter service.
R wasn't feeling well, so he stayed home Monday. I liked having him home, but I didn't like him being sick. Ugh. Then, on the way to where he was going Mon night, he hit a deer. Car was fine, he was fine, but the hood, driver's side headlight and side panel are toast. So, we're working on fixing that. Positive thing about that is that we have some money saved up to take care of that.
The downside of him staying home Monday is that he did not come home this weekend. I have gotten so used to having him here on weekends that it was extremely rough. I used to be able to go for a long time while he was on the road for like six weeks at a time. But I also had MIL with me to take me places, get me out of the house a lot... Not this time. I have a friend who got me out of the house to go to the bank, and church, and then again this next Friday to the bank, but otherwise... that's it.
It's starting to wear on me. I realize that it's a temporary thing and that I can call or skype or chat or whatever ... several of my friends, but several others haven't been as available for whatever reason. I don't blame them, but it's a factor in how I'm feeling.
I'm feeling exhausted. Partially from not being able to sleep very well, and partially just because ... there are several other little stupid things going on, like girl stuff, allergies, weather shifting migraines, etc that are all just sapping my strength.
I know. TMI. But it's where I am right now. So tired, but, yeah.
my eyes are made of water....