(no subject)
Yeah, so...every year my asthma is getting worse...odd seeing as how my pediatrician assured me I would grow out of it and it just wasn't that bad. He also assured me and kept my GP from taking out my tonsils at a young age because apparently I would grow out of all this tosilitis and strep throat too. WRONG! As many times as I've had it you'd have thought I'd gotten every strand of it. I mean seriously. Didn't you go to med school? Shouldn't you at least have an idea as to what you are talking about?
I am on 5 different steroids: Prednisome, Advair, and three nasal steroids. Even as I write this I am shaking like a leaf. How am I supposed to hold a gun steady if I can't even hold my hands steady to write this journal update? I'm seriously worried. What if this takes me off the first team?? I'm not used to that, I've always been on the first team ever since I started rifle team about 13 years ago. I take Prednisome 3 times a day and it knocks me out. I don't know how I'll make it through actual class today. I have it from 12:30-5. But I cannot afford to miss. I just got off the phone with Coach, if I'm not better by Thursday, he's not going to shoot me at all. It hurts, but at the same time I wouldn't shoot me either. I'm a mess and only God knows what this medicine will do to me when I shoot. Guess we'll see on Wednesday. Though knowing that he's only doing it for the good of the team, which is his job, it doesnt make it hurt any less.
On a happier, but no less scary note. I told the boy I loved him last night, without the alcohol factor. He reciprocated. Right now, every thing is perfect. I am sooo sad when I'm not with him. I never want him to leave...and better yet, he never wants to leave. Our relationship is so much different than Ben and mine was, and I think that is a good thing. I've decided that I like this one way too much to give it up on someone who may or may not want to be with me...depending on his mood at the moment. I will always have a special place in my heart for Ben. How could I not...six years of ones life, especially when you're only almost 22 yrs. old is a long time. But I think I am happy as is. One month and two days shy of a week and I already said I love you...took me almost 6 months to tell Ben. Scary thing is... I actually do love him. Everything about him. I especially love that hes not rushing me into anything. It's totally my perogative. He's a good boy. I like that. I miss him so much right now. Ok I'm gonna stop...enough mushy bs from Dawn. It's rather uncharacteristic and plus I'm letting people see too deep. I'm gonna run finish some stuff for class. Have a good day everyone!
I am on 5 different steroids: Prednisome, Advair, and three nasal steroids. Even as I write this I am shaking like a leaf. How am I supposed to hold a gun steady if I can't even hold my hands steady to write this journal update? I'm seriously worried. What if this takes me off the first team?? I'm not used to that, I've always been on the first team ever since I started rifle team about 13 years ago. I take Prednisome 3 times a day and it knocks me out. I don't know how I'll make it through actual class today. I have it from 12:30-5. But I cannot afford to miss. I just got off the phone with Coach, if I'm not better by Thursday, he's not going to shoot me at all. It hurts, but at the same time I wouldn't shoot me either. I'm a mess and only God knows what this medicine will do to me when I shoot. Guess we'll see on Wednesday. Though knowing that he's only doing it for the good of the team, which is his job, it doesnt make it hurt any less.
On a happier, but no less scary note. I told the boy I loved him last night, without the alcohol factor. He reciprocated. Right now, every thing is perfect. I am sooo sad when I'm not with him. I never want him to leave...and better yet, he never wants to leave. Our relationship is so much different than Ben and mine was, and I think that is a good thing. I've decided that I like this one way too much to give it up on someone who may or may not want to be with me...depending on his mood at the moment. I will always have a special place in my heart for Ben. How could I not...six years of ones life, especially when you're only almost 22 yrs. old is a long time. But I think I am happy as is. One month and two days shy of a week and I already said I love you...took me almost 6 months to tell Ben. Scary thing is... I actually do love him. Everything about him. I especially love that hes not rushing me into anything. It's totally my perogative. He's a good boy. I like that. I miss him so much right now. Ok I'm gonna stop...enough mushy bs from Dawn. It's rather uncharacteristic and plus I'm letting people see too deep. I'm gonna run finish some stuff for class. Have a good day everyone!