Ferry Corsten
Well first before Ferry-- Lilas bday-- fun! cake, flowers, the whole plan worked. Drinking 40 year old port, monkey head, getting thrown by her to the sidewalk, hangover at work, Saturdays bday dinner with everyone at the E bar in Fremont, bar tending, driving home with a packed car open bottles and a fro... yummy stuff. yay!
but the more heart centered thing that happened last friday night was Ferry Corsten at 1015.
I’d waited how many years for this? Fuck.
Got to 1015, Gianni “ego” was playing. Nothing special here. His excessive sweating and hopping around seemed more interesting than his breaks. But after 2 hours of waiting and a few Coronas…. Ferry walked in.
I’d been kind of nervous even before seeing him. Here is THE guy in which so many life changing songs were born, created, matured, perfected, and shared. I cant tell you how many SUPER special Stargaze moments were lived and relived with this guys magic. How many stories of goose bumps and chills I’ve gotten by only hearing about him spinning.
A small sample of his stuff that’s really really profoundly shaped who I am:
Exhale (played by Eric C, sunrise, Sunday morning, stargaze 9. I played this later at Starfall 2 during Sunrise)
Gouryella: Tenshi, Gouryella (Sg8, Sunrise with Addison SG9)
Ligaya: Stargaze 12, VDP 2004.
Clear Blue Water: Stargaze 10.
So many more tracks that its really hard to talk about em.
So he walks in, and I was really worried that like PVD, hed be emotionless (or really buried) but I was so wrong.
He politely let Giannis last record play out, and then started his first track. It was so overwhelmingly beautiful that I just started weeping right there. I couldn’t believe how beautiful it was, and that I didn’t know it-and here I was FINALLY in a huge crowd, large sound system that’s so loud it was reverberating my whole body… and there he was smiling.
I saw it in his face… I knew he was about the music, in the music, was the music. The look was very familiar-I could tell without even talking to him we were made of the same stuff.
Every time I hear a really good trance dj spin a REALLY good trance track, you know the kind that’s made of the really really good stuff… I am swept away and taken to another place. Yall have seen me there. It’s a nice place to be! It’s a bummer to have to leave it and mix and worry about the recording and mixing the set. But I know the tracks and the set deserve my best, so I’m always glad to leave that place, return to reality, and do my best to keep the stuff flowing….
But ever since I first really learned what I REALLY liked in the world, really sought after with all my being, I’ve really had to feed myself. I’ve so so so wanted to be the friend at Caladan 3 crying and needing a shoulder to stand on while “the ride home” played… or the Sgers who walked up to me after sunrise at Stargaze 9 with tears in their eyes and no words to talk about it… or my dj friend at stargaze 8 who started crying at my opening track when the slideshow started where the meaning of history, investment, connection, family, love started weighing in…. or Greg J at Stargaze 5 during sunrise standing in the biggest, widest, tallest set with the earphones I’d given him for the breakdown of “down with the underground” violin… tears in his eyes staring off into the sunrise creeping over the forest.
A old friend once told me, after a PVD set, that they agreed with me that it had indeed been a rockin set…but that I was the rainmaker. They’d seen me play a big club, and felt what the music and I were able to accomplish that night. Those words echo in my head still. Another close current friend told me recently when talking about someone I suuuuper respected and hoped to “be like someday”-that I had even more potential than that. With my broken life bent and twisted in so many places… I’ve been able to accomplish so much already in things I really care about. I was blown away by his statement that I could, if I could only manage to get my big things sorted in my life, be so much more…. Well damn.
Damnit I wanted to be the person on the receiving end of the music magik, without having to spin it. I totally cherish the experience of being that person crafting it, molding it, having it flow through my heart and life and being so that on the other side they not only feel the track, that magic, but know my heart, hopes, desire for them to reach their full potential. To live the living dream, to experience the blessings we’ve been given.
The first track took me back… way back. I started crying, and Just looked at Addison with teary eyes. So much beauty, so much hope and desire. I knew for the first time what it was like to feel it from BOTH sides of the needles simultaneously.
I cried like 7 times throughout that journey. Of course I’ve cried at tracks before during special Dj sets-but they were special tracks, moments-never nearly a whole set. Even though the entire crowd was cheering screaming and rushing around me… all I could do was lower my head, cry, and try to stay standing. Addison knew what was going on inside me. So many times I’d even thought about pulling records and having him spin for me… cause he could do it dammit. But those would be tracks I knew. Nothing new, and heck, that’s half the experience the first time you hear one of THOSE tracks!
I thought a lot, which I used to do along time ago when mixing, phrasing, beat matching, perfection didn’t have to be something that was a foreground process in my mind. His set was so good it started past all that, and I was swept away into that place I hadn’t been in a long time (for more than a few minutes at a time). Here is the most important thing in my life, and my decks haven’t even been hooked up since returning from SG. Yes granted I’m moving and have had a crazy few weeks… but that just sucks. Here is the thing I really think I’m best at (of all the things I do and try to do). Here is the thing where I could make the most difference and biggest impact.
Why did I stop trying to get out there, spin out, why did I leave the clubs, the massives, the parties? I know Stargaze means the world to me. That’s one area I threw myself back into cause it needed it. I know that dating and being in relationships also needed more attention than I was able to dish out while playing those parties.
I know I have many more lifetimes to throw at this ball of dust-but damnit, I’m not getting any younger. After my move, and getting some other hard stuff out of the way I’ve been putting off for a few years… I’m going to start trying again and see how far I get.
I’m not going to just dismiss the voice in me that tells me that I could do that, I could reach those people, I could share like that any longer.
So yeah it was a profound set-one I’d been missing for 7+ years now. Damn that’s a long time to wait. I’m sorry I took so long to be there for that.
And for all you who were there for me, who have encouraged me thus far, who’ve been brave enough to cry for me, in the music, who’ve told me I could do more, for the sunrises you’ve shared with me in the deserts, forests and warehouses… keep me in your thoughts as I go about trying to get back in the saddle over the next months and years.
Off to bed for me now
Peace through the music
gEoff ;)
but the more heart centered thing that happened last friday night was Ferry Corsten at 1015.
I’d waited how many years for this? Fuck.
Got to 1015, Gianni “ego” was playing. Nothing special here. His excessive sweating and hopping around seemed more interesting than his breaks. But after 2 hours of waiting and a few Coronas…. Ferry walked in.
I’d been kind of nervous even before seeing him. Here is THE guy in which so many life changing songs were born, created, matured, perfected, and shared. I cant tell you how many SUPER special Stargaze moments were lived and relived with this guys magic. How many stories of goose bumps and chills I’ve gotten by only hearing about him spinning.
A small sample of his stuff that’s really really profoundly shaped who I am:
Exhale (played by Eric C, sunrise, Sunday morning, stargaze 9. I played this later at Starfall 2 during Sunrise)
Gouryella: Tenshi, Gouryella (Sg8, Sunrise with Addison SG9)
Ligaya: Stargaze 12, VDP 2004.
Clear Blue Water: Stargaze 10.
So many more tracks that its really hard to talk about em.
So he walks in, and I was really worried that like PVD, hed be emotionless (or really buried) but I was so wrong.
He politely let Giannis last record play out, and then started his first track. It was so overwhelmingly beautiful that I just started weeping right there. I couldn’t believe how beautiful it was, and that I didn’t know it-and here I was FINALLY in a huge crowd, large sound system that’s so loud it was reverberating my whole body… and there he was smiling.
I saw it in his face… I knew he was about the music, in the music, was the music. The look was very familiar-I could tell without even talking to him we were made of the same stuff.
Every time I hear a really good trance dj spin a REALLY good trance track, you know the kind that’s made of the really really good stuff… I am swept away and taken to another place. Yall have seen me there. It’s a nice place to be! It’s a bummer to have to leave it and mix and worry about the recording and mixing the set. But I know the tracks and the set deserve my best, so I’m always glad to leave that place, return to reality, and do my best to keep the stuff flowing….
But ever since I first really learned what I REALLY liked in the world, really sought after with all my being, I’ve really had to feed myself. I’ve so so so wanted to be the friend at Caladan 3 crying and needing a shoulder to stand on while “the ride home” played… or the Sgers who walked up to me after sunrise at Stargaze 9 with tears in their eyes and no words to talk about it… or my dj friend at stargaze 8 who started crying at my opening track when the slideshow started where the meaning of history, investment, connection, family, love started weighing in…. or Greg J at Stargaze 5 during sunrise standing in the biggest, widest, tallest set with the earphones I’d given him for the breakdown of “down with the underground” violin… tears in his eyes staring off into the sunrise creeping over the forest.
A old friend once told me, after a PVD set, that they agreed with me that it had indeed been a rockin set…but that I was the rainmaker. They’d seen me play a big club, and felt what the music and I were able to accomplish that night. Those words echo in my head still. Another close current friend told me recently when talking about someone I suuuuper respected and hoped to “be like someday”-that I had even more potential than that. With my broken life bent and twisted in so many places… I’ve been able to accomplish so much already in things I really care about. I was blown away by his statement that I could, if I could only manage to get my big things sorted in my life, be so much more…. Well damn.
Damnit I wanted to be the person on the receiving end of the music magik, without having to spin it. I totally cherish the experience of being that person crafting it, molding it, having it flow through my heart and life and being so that on the other side they not only feel the track, that magic, but know my heart, hopes, desire for them to reach their full potential. To live the living dream, to experience the blessings we’ve been given.
The first track took me back… way back. I started crying, and Just looked at Addison with teary eyes. So much beauty, so much hope and desire. I knew for the first time what it was like to feel it from BOTH sides of the needles simultaneously.
I cried like 7 times throughout that journey. Of course I’ve cried at tracks before during special Dj sets-but they were special tracks, moments-never nearly a whole set. Even though the entire crowd was cheering screaming and rushing around me… all I could do was lower my head, cry, and try to stay standing. Addison knew what was going on inside me. So many times I’d even thought about pulling records and having him spin for me… cause he could do it dammit. But those would be tracks I knew. Nothing new, and heck, that’s half the experience the first time you hear one of THOSE tracks!
I thought a lot, which I used to do along time ago when mixing, phrasing, beat matching, perfection didn’t have to be something that was a foreground process in my mind. His set was so good it started past all that, and I was swept away into that place I hadn’t been in a long time (for more than a few minutes at a time). Here is the most important thing in my life, and my decks haven’t even been hooked up since returning from SG. Yes granted I’m moving and have had a crazy few weeks… but that just sucks. Here is the thing I really think I’m best at (of all the things I do and try to do). Here is the thing where I could make the most difference and biggest impact.
Why did I stop trying to get out there, spin out, why did I leave the clubs, the massives, the parties? I know Stargaze means the world to me. That’s one area I threw myself back into cause it needed it. I know that dating and being in relationships also needed more attention than I was able to dish out while playing those parties.
I know I have many more lifetimes to throw at this ball of dust-but damnit, I’m not getting any younger. After my move, and getting some other hard stuff out of the way I’ve been putting off for a few years… I’m going to start trying again and see how far I get.
I’m not going to just dismiss the voice in me that tells me that I could do that, I could reach those people, I could share like that any longer.
So yeah it was a profound set-one I’d been missing for 7+ years now. Damn that’s a long time to wait. I’m sorry I took so long to be there for that.
And for all you who were there for me, who have encouraged me thus far, who’ve been brave enough to cry for me, in the music, who’ve told me I could do more, for the sunrises you’ve shared with me in the deserts, forests and warehouses… keep me in your thoughts as I go about trying to get back in the saddle over the next months and years.
Off to bed for me now
Peace through the music
gEoff ;)