YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWP
Friday is finally here. whew. Saw a lot of PC clients this week. Again I'm so happy with the clients I have-- sweet caring people. I did some virus patch updates for them, installed 2 DSL home networks, migrated off ATT worldnet and one off AOL to SBC, made palm pilots work, stopped some spam, got most of a website ready to launch, make the barking noises go away (someone’s grand kid setup the new mail notification to play bark.wav, so that every time a piece of mail came in, say exactly every 5 minutes... it would bark like a dog. Scared the SHIT out of the people that owned the PC. Thought it was a new doggievirus. ;) hahahaha)
Found out today that my boss at Thornwall indeed is going to let me go come Sept 1. I kinda figured it might happen--shes wrapping up her real estate stuff, goes to Yelapa Mexico each year from Oct 1 to Feb... (what a life eh?). I have a few options-- I could go to work full time for a friend helping a business get off the ground floor, or follow-up on a lead to work as another escrow coordinator at Keller Williams-- both opportunities are in Oakland so the commute will be nice either way.
Wisdom-- come to me!
I'll be glad to not be working for my boss here anymore. She’s so emotional, nearly every day goes from total stress case to an hour later-- spouting out praise and majesty. I thought at first I could predict it... I figured days when she got $15k commission checks shed be happy, and on days when bad or delaying stuff was going to be happening to her real estate things, shed be hard to deal with. Nope. I nearly spiked her drinking water with an SSRI to try to stabilize her.
I guess its in my cards right now, to work all around very nutty, unstable, crazy people. All around me! Real estate office, the non profit art group I freelanced for till they were too crazy for me, to the contractor for whom I do accounting bookkeeping n stuff… to the new possible job helping the friend out with his businesses. Nutters all of them. Maybe I’m supposed to try to figure out peace, calm, balance, and serenity inside amongst the noise. Maybe I’m supposed to try to bring that to their own lives. Who knows. “Deep thoughts, Ogre” (line from Revenge of the Nerds Movies)
This weekend my bro is coming up with Bonnie 2 of 2. They’re crashing at the chalet, and will be seeing many Sgers-very cool. We’re gonna try to hit the Ambient Mafia gig tomorrow night for our weekly worship skye session (hee hee). I cant wait to hear a specific track she might play cause it will really take everybody to the max. The Rob as Tour Guide thing sounds cool too on Saturday…. Somehow I have HORRIBLE visions tho of a Stargaze gone Gilligans Island thing.
Imagine getting stranded on an island as the result of this thee hour tour were gonna hit. Who could be the Howells? Id probably end up being Gilligan. If Bijan were up here he’d be the professor. Steveo would make a natural Skipper. Maryann? Ginger? I have some ideas ; ) We should make a movie.
My Dad is coming out in mid Sept to go hike halfdome with my brother and I. Hes never been all the way to the top. Some of my earliest memories are of the many myriad of steps on the Misty Trail and my dad kinda cheering me up and down them. It will be a great weekend,….. I hope we REALLY talk. REALLY connect. I know its such an incredible experience that it will force the squishy insides out of him. I cant wait.
Then I get to come back in October to lead another trip of Sgers to the Valley to attempt the same thing. That’s gonna be a blast… I summitted twice last year-both very special times for me. Yeeeehaw.
MUSIC: found some tasty bites of music on the net. Remixes of some tracks I already have. I really haven been spending enough time with it lately…. Been busy trying to make ends meet and all that jazz.
So today on my way to my first client at 8, I was driving, lost as usual, with a red bull in me and a thousand things going through my mind. I have a long day ahead of me still! But Ligaya comes on, a new mix, and it starts off, I’m smiling… starting to enjoy the sunny day, the breath of reassurance that I did ok this week, worked hard and accomplished all I wanted to…. And then the breakdown hits. Somehow, there is a wormhole between music and my heart. I have NO control over it. The Breakdown started, such a beautiful track… sweeping symphony of violins and violas… deep powerful assuring bass and cellos… I have goose bumps all over me right now even recalling it! And then I just began to bawl-tears of joy everywhere… I nearly had to pull over. Thoughts that raced through my mind:
I am SO lucky to have my life
I am so fortunate to have these rad people in my life-my family, friends, Stargaze…
Its so overwhelming the grace that we’ve been shown to be able to be here, now, alive
I’m SO thankful for stargaze and the miracles of discovery, growth, people connection around me.
The world is so unbelievably beautiful.
The music is sooo powerful I wonder how it does it to me. I hope it never leaves me.
I am SO lucky and blessed to be able to have found something that is so passionate to me, so foundational, so hope giving. Some people I bet live their whole lives not finding something like this-and I found it pretty early. I cant wait to look back on my relationship with the music 50 years from now…
The whole time the arpeggios and the synth lines are sweeping back and forth, building-tears of happiness still flowing-then the build to the end of the breakdown. And a huge RUSH hits me as it kicks back in triumphantly…
Goosebumps stand on end… thoughts kinda cease for a while and this enormous energy just builds inside-I can literally feel a warm sensation when this happens in me in my heart centered area of my chest-- and I just begin to yell and scream and whoop and holler.
Its very much like Whitman’s Barbaric “yawp” over the rooftops of the world….
I experience moments like these every week just about. In the car tho its easy to whoop and holler as loud as you can without drawing attention from the neighbors.
The drivers around me always are scared. They don’t know what to make of me.
So yeah-I’m looking fwd to the weekend, looking forward to time with friends and family. Looking forward to the next chapters in our crazy books our lives are these days… looking forward to the providence that lies ahead for me… wondering about whats next.
Two of my all-time favourite quotes:
"We live hard…we commune with the midnight hour and ride it out until daybreak armed with lights and lasers and booming bass. While our parents are in bed, we hug [each other] and hear a sound so moving that we throw ourselves into it…seeking to [break] that barrier that tries…to keep the body separate from the sound…Hemingway had his bullfights. We…have our music…we live passionately." -Kerins
and
"There is something very wonderful in music. Words are wonderful enough, but music is even more wonderful. It speaks to our hearts and spirits, to the very core and roots of our souls. Music soothes us, stirs us up, it puts noble feelings in us, it melts us to know not how. It is a language by itself; just as specific, in its way, as speech, as words. Just as divine. Just as blessed." Charles Kingsley (1819-75) (from StillWind)
HERE HERE!!!!
Found out today that my boss at Thornwall indeed is going to let me go come Sept 1. I kinda figured it might happen--shes wrapping up her real estate stuff, goes to Yelapa Mexico each year from Oct 1 to Feb... (what a life eh?). I have a few options-- I could go to work full time for a friend helping a business get off the ground floor, or follow-up on a lead to work as another escrow coordinator at Keller Williams-- both opportunities are in Oakland so the commute will be nice either way.
Wisdom-- come to me!
I'll be glad to not be working for my boss here anymore. She’s so emotional, nearly every day goes from total stress case to an hour later-- spouting out praise and majesty. I thought at first I could predict it... I figured days when she got $15k commission checks shed be happy, and on days when bad or delaying stuff was going to be happening to her real estate things, shed be hard to deal with. Nope. I nearly spiked her drinking water with an SSRI to try to stabilize her.
I guess its in my cards right now, to work all around very nutty, unstable, crazy people. All around me! Real estate office, the non profit art group I freelanced for till they were too crazy for me, to the contractor for whom I do accounting bookkeeping n stuff… to the new possible job helping the friend out with his businesses. Nutters all of them. Maybe I’m supposed to try to figure out peace, calm, balance, and serenity inside amongst the noise. Maybe I’m supposed to try to bring that to their own lives. Who knows. “Deep thoughts, Ogre” (line from Revenge of the Nerds Movies)
This weekend my bro is coming up with Bonnie 2 of 2. They’re crashing at the chalet, and will be seeing many Sgers-very cool. We’re gonna try to hit the Ambient Mafia gig tomorrow night for our weekly worship skye session (hee hee). I cant wait to hear a specific track she might play cause it will really take everybody to the max. The Rob as Tour Guide thing sounds cool too on Saturday…. Somehow I have HORRIBLE visions tho of a Stargaze gone Gilligans Island thing.
Imagine getting stranded on an island as the result of this thee hour tour were gonna hit. Who could be the Howells? Id probably end up being Gilligan. If Bijan were up here he’d be the professor. Steveo would make a natural Skipper. Maryann? Ginger? I have some ideas ; ) We should make a movie.
My Dad is coming out in mid Sept to go hike halfdome with my brother and I. Hes never been all the way to the top. Some of my earliest memories are of the many myriad of steps on the Misty Trail and my dad kinda cheering me up and down them. It will be a great weekend,….. I hope we REALLY talk. REALLY connect. I know its such an incredible experience that it will force the squishy insides out of him. I cant wait.
Then I get to come back in October to lead another trip of Sgers to the Valley to attempt the same thing. That’s gonna be a blast… I summitted twice last year-both very special times for me. Yeeeehaw.
MUSIC: found some tasty bites of music on the net. Remixes of some tracks I already have. I really haven been spending enough time with it lately…. Been busy trying to make ends meet and all that jazz.
So today on my way to my first client at 8, I was driving, lost as usual, with a red bull in me and a thousand things going through my mind. I have a long day ahead of me still! But Ligaya comes on, a new mix, and it starts off, I’m smiling… starting to enjoy the sunny day, the breath of reassurance that I did ok this week, worked hard and accomplished all I wanted to…. And then the breakdown hits. Somehow, there is a wormhole between music and my heart. I have NO control over it. The Breakdown started, such a beautiful track… sweeping symphony of violins and violas… deep powerful assuring bass and cellos… I have goose bumps all over me right now even recalling it! And then I just began to bawl-tears of joy everywhere… I nearly had to pull over. Thoughts that raced through my mind:
I am SO lucky to have my life
I am so fortunate to have these rad people in my life-my family, friends, Stargaze…
Its so overwhelming the grace that we’ve been shown to be able to be here, now, alive
I’m SO thankful for stargaze and the miracles of discovery, growth, people connection around me.
The world is so unbelievably beautiful.
The music is sooo powerful I wonder how it does it to me. I hope it never leaves me.
I am SO lucky and blessed to be able to have found something that is so passionate to me, so foundational, so hope giving. Some people I bet live their whole lives not finding something like this-and I found it pretty early. I cant wait to look back on my relationship with the music 50 years from now…
The whole time the arpeggios and the synth lines are sweeping back and forth, building-tears of happiness still flowing-then the build to the end of the breakdown. And a huge RUSH hits me as it kicks back in triumphantly…
Goosebumps stand on end… thoughts kinda cease for a while and this enormous energy just builds inside-I can literally feel a warm sensation when this happens in me in my heart centered area of my chest-- and I just begin to yell and scream and whoop and holler.
Its very much like Whitman’s Barbaric “yawp” over the rooftops of the world….
I experience moments like these every week just about. In the car tho its easy to whoop and holler as loud as you can without drawing attention from the neighbors.
The drivers around me always are scared. They don’t know what to make of me.
So yeah-I’m looking fwd to the weekend, looking forward to time with friends and family. Looking forward to the next chapters in our crazy books our lives are these days… looking forward to the providence that lies ahead for me… wondering about whats next.
Two of my all-time favourite quotes:
"We live hard…we commune with the midnight hour and ride it out until daybreak armed with lights and lasers and booming bass. While our parents are in bed, we hug [each other] and hear a sound so moving that we throw ourselves into it…seeking to [break] that barrier that tries…to keep the body separate from the sound…Hemingway had his bullfights. We…have our music…we live passionately." -Kerins
and
"There is something very wonderful in music. Words are wonderful enough, but music is even more wonderful. It speaks to our hearts and spirits, to the very core and roots of our souls. Music soothes us, stirs us up, it puts noble feelings in us, it melts us to know not how. It is a language by itself; just as specific, in its way, as speech, as words. Just as divine. Just as blessed." Charles Kingsley (1819-75) (from StillWind)
HERE HERE!!!!