I was gonna write a real entry, but then...
I happened across this silly survey on 
hawkdancer's journal, and decided, what the hell. Mine's not as exciting as her, as she has infinitely more experience than me in this department, but hell, I just drank like four cups of coffee and it's only 1:30. Tomorrow's my last day of school ever. Nothing is going to put me to sleep tonight before at least three.
Uncomfortable questions
This survey is gonna probably make you uncomfortable, but if you do it... answer honestly!
-Longest relationship:
5.5 years...and counting...sort of...
-Shortest relationship:
A week, in junior high. I'd like to think that it didn't even count, but there are those (who will remain unnamed) who take such joy in reminding me of my foolishness that I know it will never be forgotten. Sigh.
-How many people have you broken up with?
2. Well, three, sort of. And I've only ever even sort of dated three people...so...
-How many times have you truly been in love?
Once.
-How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you?
One. Thank God only the one, since my second longest relationship lasted for about two weeks. That would have been awkward.
-Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were with?
Yup. Always a possibility.
-Have you ever loved someone so much it hurt?
Yes. It was that good kind of hurt though, most of the time.
-Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?
Yup. Not on purpose, though. Not really.
-Have you ever cried over a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Ah, ha ha ha ha. What do you think I am, a robot?
-Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend?
No. Unless being drunkenly kissed by someone in a foreign country counts as cheating. Which it doesn't.
-Have you ever been cheated on?
Once, sort of. We "took a break" for a few weeks.
-What is the most important PART of being in a relationship?
Trust. "I believe that trust is more important than monogamy..." Daren Hayes.
-What is the worst part of being in a relationship?
That delicious vulnerability. It's intimacy, but terrifying. You can brush off everyone else, but when you let someone get that close, and your heartstrings wrap around them like tendrils of morning glory, to have them hurt you, to have them pull away...it's impossible to protect yourself.
-Worst relationship?
That one that lasted for a week. What was I thinking? Well, I mean, even that wasn't so bad, but...I had to pick one.
-Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes. At least once. Always by the same person, too.
-Have you ever broken someones heart?
Not that I know of. It's my purpose in life to never cause anyone that much pain.
-Do you talk to any of your exes?
Every once in a while, one of them. I see him randomly from time to time. Rarely, but...
-If you could go back in time and change things to where you could still be with one of your exes, would you?
Nope.
-Do you think any of your exes feel the same way?
Um...I hope so?
-What is your ideal boyfriend or girlfriend?
Someone who is my intellectual equal, who understands me. Someone who doesn't allow himself to be dominated or manipulated by me too much. Someone who can put up with my craziness. Someone interesting.
-Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
Yes. Very good. That's another one of the things that I try really hard to be good at. It would be selfish to desire a thoughtful, wonderful partner without first trying to be one.
-Have you dated people who were not good to you?
Hmm. I originally wrote "no," but now I'm not sure. I suppose it depends on who's ruler we're using for "not good to me." I think they've be pretty good, but there's definitely been room for improvement.
-Have you been in an abusive relationship?
*Cackles madly.* What a joke. Have you met me? When someone hits me, I hit back. Serves as an excellent deterrent.
-Name your most memorable ex if you have had 1:
Probably number 3.
-Have you dated someone older then you?
Yes. By a month. As for the other two, I think #1 was older, and #2 younger. I can't remember. We were all in the same grade, anyway.
-Younger?
See above.
-What is one thing that all of your exes had in common?
Absolutely nothing....well, they've all had pretty good eyebrows. That's about it for similarities, though.
-Say, who are the top two most attractive ex's that you have?
Topper and Erik. If we consider Erik an ex.
-Have you ever cried yourself to sleep over a boyfriend or girlfriend?
I'm not sure. I consider crying while curled up in the shower more satisfying, but I wouldn't say it's never happened.
-When is the last time that you were in a relationship?
It's complicated, to quote facebook.
-Do you believe in love at first sight?
No. In educated circles, that's called "lust."
-Ever dated two people at once?
No.
-Ever been given a promise ring?
Sort of?
-Ever been given an Engagement ring?
Nope.
-Do you want to get married?
Yeah, eventually...well, actually, I suppose little stands in the way now, except me going to Korea. Shrug. I don't know. I'm not in a rush.
-Do you have something to say to any of your exes?
"Topper, I'm sure if I'd had a little more faith and courage, we could have had something really special. You appeared a few years too early. But thanks for the confidence you gave me."
-Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or girlfriend?
No, and I think that people who do that are repugnant and immoral. I don't care how bad you want it; there's no excuse for causing someone that kind of pain just because you feel the need to gratify your own whims. And I would never want to be with someone who broke someone's heart to be with me. Instant turn-off, such a betrayal of that intimacy.
-Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?
...hmm...I don't think so. There've been very few that I've liked at all. Oh, wait, there was one guy who had real potential, but I could never have him. See above for why.
-Do you believe in true love?
Of course. It doesn't take a leap of faith.
-Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?
It's worse. It eats you up inside like a disease and makes you shun the company of others...it cuts you off from the world and makes you feel more alone than you ever thought you could be. But...you get over it, eventually. I mean, you'd have to live a pretty boring life not to eventually get distracted and turn your attention to something else.
hawkdancer's journal, and decided, what the hell. Mine's not as exciting as her, as she has infinitely more experience than me in this department, but hell, I just drank like four cups of coffee and it's only 1:30. Tomorrow's my last day of school ever. Nothing is going to put me to sleep tonight before at least three.
Uncomfortable questions
This survey is gonna probably make you uncomfortable, but if you do it... answer honestly!
-Longest relationship:
5.5 years...and counting...sort of...
-Shortest relationship:
A week, in junior high. I'd like to think that it didn't even count, but there are those (who will remain unnamed) who take such joy in reminding me of my foolishness that I know it will never be forgotten. Sigh.
-How many people have you broken up with?
2. Well, three, sort of. And I've only ever even sort of dated three people...so...
-How many times have you truly been in love?
Once.
-How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you?
One. Thank God only the one, since my second longest relationship lasted for about two weeks. That would have been awkward.
-Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were with?
Yup. Always a possibility.
-Have you ever loved someone so much it hurt?
Yes. It was that good kind of hurt though, most of the time.
-Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?
Yup. Not on purpose, though. Not really.
-Have you ever cried over a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Ah, ha ha ha ha. What do you think I am, a robot?
-Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend?
No. Unless being drunkenly kissed by someone in a foreign country counts as cheating. Which it doesn't.
-Have you ever been cheated on?
Once, sort of. We "took a break" for a few weeks.
-What is the most important PART of being in a relationship?
Trust. "I believe that trust is more important than monogamy..." Daren Hayes.
-What is the worst part of being in a relationship?
That delicious vulnerability. It's intimacy, but terrifying. You can brush off everyone else, but when you let someone get that close, and your heartstrings wrap around them like tendrils of morning glory, to have them hurt you, to have them pull away...it's impossible to protect yourself.
-Worst relationship?
That one that lasted for a week. What was I thinking? Well, I mean, even that wasn't so bad, but...I had to pick one.
-Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes. At least once. Always by the same person, too.
-Have you ever broken someones heart?
Not that I know of. It's my purpose in life to never cause anyone that much pain.
-Do you talk to any of your exes?
Every once in a while, one of them. I see him randomly from time to time. Rarely, but...
-If you could go back in time and change things to where you could still be with one of your exes, would you?
Nope.
-Do you think any of your exes feel the same way?
Um...I hope so?
-What is your ideal boyfriend or girlfriend?
Someone who is my intellectual equal, who understands me. Someone who doesn't allow himself to be dominated or manipulated by me too much. Someone who can put up with my craziness. Someone interesting.
-Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
Yes. Very good. That's another one of the things that I try really hard to be good at. It would be selfish to desire a thoughtful, wonderful partner without first trying to be one.
-Have you dated people who were not good to you?
Hmm. I originally wrote "no," but now I'm not sure. I suppose it depends on who's ruler we're using for "not good to me." I think they've be pretty good, but there's definitely been room for improvement.
-Have you been in an abusive relationship?
*Cackles madly.* What a joke. Have you met me? When someone hits me, I hit back. Serves as an excellent deterrent.
-Name your most memorable ex if you have had 1:
Probably number 3.
-Have you dated someone older then you?
Yes. By a month. As for the other two, I think #1 was older, and #2 younger. I can't remember. We were all in the same grade, anyway.
-Younger?
See above.
-What is one thing that all of your exes had in common?
Absolutely nothing....well, they've all had pretty good eyebrows. That's about it for similarities, though.
-Say, who are the top two most attractive ex's that you have?
Topper and Erik. If we consider Erik an ex.
-Have you ever cried yourself to sleep over a boyfriend or girlfriend?
I'm not sure. I consider crying while curled up in the shower more satisfying, but I wouldn't say it's never happened.
-When is the last time that you were in a relationship?
It's complicated, to quote facebook.
-Do you believe in love at first sight?
No. In educated circles, that's called "lust."
-Ever dated two people at once?
No.
-Ever been given a promise ring?
Sort of?
-Ever been given an Engagement ring?
Nope.
-Do you want to get married?
Yeah, eventually...well, actually, I suppose little stands in the way now, except me going to Korea. Shrug. I don't know. I'm not in a rush.
-Do you have something to say to any of your exes?
"Topper, I'm sure if I'd had a little more faith and courage, we could have had something really special. You appeared a few years too early. But thanks for the confidence you gave me."
-Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or girlfriend?
No, and I think that people who do that are repugnant and immoral. I don't care how bad you want it; there's no excuse for causing someone that kind of pain just because you feel the need to gratify your own whims. And I would never want to be with someone who broke someone's heart to be with me. Instant turn-off, such a betrayal of that intimacy.
-Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?
...hmm...I don't think so. There've been very few that I've liked at all. Oh, wait, there was one guy who had real potential, but I could never have him. See above for why.
-Do you believe in true love?
Of course. It doesn't take a leap of faith.
-Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?
It's worse. It eats you up inside like a disease and makes you shun the company of others...it cuts you off from the world and makes you feel more alone than you ever thought you could be. But...you get over it, eventually. I mean, you'd have to live a pretty boring life not to eventually get distracted and turn your attention to something else.