I should feel guilty...
but I don't. Is it wrong to revel in someone's karmic retribution? Hahahaha I don't care, it fills me with glee. Sometimes payback comes a little slow, but not this time, no siree. The only downwside is that I think the lesson might be lost on one so prone to externalizing. Maybe, JUST maybe this might be the catalyst for turning his locus a little more inward. I justify my happiness in someone else's misery by my hope that this experience might have some meaning.
And here go the details:
I broke up with Dave about a month ago. His constant lying and inappropriate behavior came in a close second to his misery and negativity, oddly enough, because I think all his wrongdoings stemmed from that. That relationship only brought the worst out in me, it made me jealous beyond belief, it plagued my self-confidence, and in general weighed me down in such a way and for so long that I didn't even realize it until the weight had been lifted.
They say that the things you find endearing at the beginning of the relatioship are the very things you will come to loathe if things go sour. I don't know if this axiom holds true for any of you out there, but it really did in this case. I thought he was so interesting for having lived in so many places and for trying so many things. It turned out that he actually does very poorly outside of his comfort zone and has a problem with commitment. I thought he was driven because he managed a full time job and being in the band. It turns out that he is surprisingly bad at multi-tasking and has no ability to make room for anything or anyone else on his short list of him and band. I thought he had a gift for networking and had friends from all walks. It turned out that he had the ability to morph into whatever kind of person he needed to be in order to get what he wanted and that his 'friends' were only the people that could offer him something.
I'm still unsure if his adeptness at deception was innate or honed. Whenever I would confront him he'd deny deny deny and then when finally faced with no other option, offered some pathetic excuse and never admitted to fault. Sometimes it was even a case of cutting off his nose to spite his face, his lying didn't even make sense from his own point of view.
Through friends, I found out after the breakup that this sort of behavior extended into all walks of his life. Finally, someone from his world confirmed that he was just as connving and deceiving to others as he was to me.
In our last civil meeting, we went to dinner to exchange belated christmas presents. That was probably a week after I broke up with him. It was the first time we really *talked* about things. He owned up to not knowing what he wanted to do with his life and being depressed. He said he would use this time to focus on these things and to get to know himself better. He said he'd spent alot of alone time and done alot of thinking while he was away and when he got back. He said he wanted us to go back to being friends because he felt like that's what we had lost. I felt good about things because I felt like maybe he had an epiphany.
Wrong. I found out later, he had been spending alot of time with a new girl. What he did after we broke up is his business, but I found out he'd actually spent time with her before his trip. While you may split hairs about what is and isn't cheating, it was inappropriate. It was my proverbial straw... I called him up and in my most psycho manner proceeded to scream at him.
That was it, I don't want anything to do with him. Someone whose life is so riddled with dishonesty isn't much of a friend either.
And here goes the punch line:
About a month later, he gets fired from the self-proclaimed most important thing in his life, the band. In a flurry of behind the music drama, the singer quit, and Dave took the next step in his plan to take over the band. He placed a phone call to a drummer in another band in order to replace the one remaining original member of the band. That prompted them to fire him. Hah.
I don't know if he felt any burn from when I left him... but I still take smug satisfaction in knowing that in a months time, he got dumped TWICE pretty much for the same reason.
***DIRTY VERSION***
Hah! He's not cool (by his own standards) AND his new girlfriend looks like a 12 yr old boy.
And here go the details:
I broke up with Dave about a month ago. His constant lying and inappropriate behavior came in a close second to his misery and negativity, oddly enough, because I think all his wrongdoings stemmed from that. That relationship only brought the worst out in me, it made me jealous beyond belief, it plagued my self-confidence, and in general weighed me down in such a way and for so long that I didn't even realize it until the weight had been lifted.
They say that the things you find endearing at the beginning of the relatioship are the very things you will come to loathe if things go sour. I don't know if this axiom holds true for any of you out there, but it really did in this case. I thought he was so interesting for having lived in so many places and for trying so many things. It turned out that he actually does very poorly outside of his comfort zone and has a problem with commitment. I thought he was driven because he managed a full time job and being in the band. It turns out that he is surprisingly bad at multi-tasking and has no ability to make room for anything or anyone else on his short list of him and band. I thought he had a gift for networking and had friends from all walks. It turned out that he had the ability to morph into whatever kind of person he needed to be in order to get what he wanted and that his 'friends' were only the people that could offer him something.
I'm still unsure if his adeptness at deception was innate or honed. Whenever I would confront him he'd deny deny deny and then when finally faced with no other option, offered some pathetic excuse and never admitted to fault. Sometimes it was even a case of cutting off his nose to spite his face, his lying didn't even make sense from his own point of view.
Through friends, I found out after the breakup that this sort of behavior extended into all walks of his life. Finally, someone from his world confirmed that he was just as connving and deceiving to others as he was to me.
In our last civil meeting, we went to dinner to exchange belated christmas presents. That was probably a week after I broke up with him. It was the first time we really *talked* about things. He owned up to not knowing what he wanted to do with his life and being depressed. He said he would use this time to focus on these things and to get to know himself better. He said he'd spent alot of alone time and done alot of thinking while he was away and when he got back. He said he wanted us to go back to being friends because he felt like that's what we had lost. I felt good about things because I felt like maybe he had an epiphany.
Wrong. I found out later, he had been spending alot of time with a new girl. What he did after we broke up is his business, but I found out he'd actually spent time with her before his trip. While you may split hairs about what is and isn't cheating, it was inappropriate. It was my proverbial straw... I called him up and in my most psycho manner proceeded to scream at him.
That was it, I don't want anything to do with him. Someone whose life is so riddled with dishonesty isn't much of a friend either.
And here goes the punch line:
About a month later, he gets fired from the self-proclaimed most important thing in his life, the band. In a flurry of behind the music drama, the singer quit, and Dave took the next step in his plan to take over the band. He placed a phone call to a drummer in another band in order to replace the one remaining original member of the band. That prompted them to fire him. Hah.
I don't know if he felt any burn from when I left him... but I still take smug satisfaction in knowing that in a months time, he got dumped TWICE pretty much for the same reason.
***DIRTY VERSION***
Hah! He's not cool (by his own standards) AND his new girlfriend looks like a 12 yr old boy.