(Untitled)

[magic_courtney]

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all childern. -Eric Draven, The Crow.

I don't recall how I saw that movie, but of all lines that exact one stuck out in my head like a needle in a piled on high hay stack...I did live on a farm at one time, I do hope you know. If you think demons, chaos demons, were disguisting?

Try helping a cow

Comments

[daft_dru]

As I walked on, I knew exactly where I was headed and who I was headed to. It had been a while since the night I’d returned to that awful hotel room and found nothing but a piece of paper and an empty space, and now the author of that letter was almost within reach once again...

Would she be angry with me? Scared of me? Now in the care of Spike, the devil only knows what he’s filled her mind with. He probably still thought I’d bring harm to her...and if that were the case, maybe she did to. His words were probably easier to latch onto and trust than mine were. He had a soul whereas I was lacking one. Did that make him more honorable in her eyes?

Finally, I caught sight of her and surprisingly she was alone... With her new guardians being who they were I thought they’d have her on a close leash. But why question it? I crossed the short distance that still remained between she and I, then slid into step with her stride--as if I had been there all along. Walking beside her, I stayed quiet. What could I possibly say? So, I just walked by my sweet girls side--and stayed shut.

[magic_courtney]

I felt a sting of familiarity cross between me, almost like a little light bulb in loony toons, the one that pops over your head? I guess thats how I can explain it.

I turn to my left, no one. Well, a vampire passed me. But he averted my eyes, strange enough they usually ignore me or bug me to death with question. I grew up with demons, vampires, and the black arts, it doesn't scare me much. The rigid faces, the fangs, the knowing that even though I am of Aurelius blood they could still rip me in too.

Yet, my only fear is of; Mimes, heights, hospitals, and Mr. Freddy Krueger. I bet he's real.

I look to my right, with a gasp, I stand as if my feet were ceamented to the ground. Shock really, I didn't know if I'd see her again.

My mother.

"

[daft_dru]

Well it was good to see he hadn’t gotten to her to the point where she fled at the mere sight of me. Hearing her voice again, even if it was just one simple word was a pleasure. One I didn’t think I’d get the chance to have again.

My darling Courtney, and she was covered in the Slayer... That nuisance of a girl has taken everything from me without hesitation.

Looking at her, my only greeting was a slight bow of my head.

“Are you happy now, love?”

That’s all that mattered, isn’t it? Her happiness. To deny her such a thing when she had been through so much thus far in her short life...that would be cruel of me.

[magic_courtney]

Okay..I deserved it. Releasing her from a hug softly, I back up from her some. Wincing only some.

"Am I happy?" I repeat her question silently, to be honest? I didn't have a single clue. Wiping my hair infront my my fase as the wind continues to violate my hair, I squint my eyes some. The cold wind stinging them.

Was I happy?

"I-I-I don't know." She replies, honestly. "Are you?"

I bowed my head, same as she, feeling too akward.

[daft_dru]

“If you are, then I will force myself to be. And if not...I think I’d have to ask what will it take for you to be so.”

Locking her elbow with mine, I began to walk slowly, she in tow.

“You went in search of happiness with him...and her, but couldn’t find it. Or perhaps you did find it and are afraid of accepting it. You’re worried. About me.”

Shaking my head slightly I covered her hand with my own.

“It’s my job to worry about you, love. Not the other way around. You’re young still...and shouldn’t carry such a burden. It’s okay to be happy. You more then deserve it.”

[magic_courtney]

As we walk arm-in-arm, my head still bowed facing the wet, slippery streets, and just listen. Letting her words sink in. Comforting, they were. I smile softly as she begines to go into 'mother' roll. Wonder if she'd do like dad did few days ago, the 'Don't touch/look my fucking daughter you perverts' thing. It was halarious, yet Buffy did warn me..

Buffy. A subject I had to get out in the open.

Looking into her hazel eyes, furrowed my eyebrows, as I began. "Buffy is a friend, she'll never take your place, nor will I ever think of her as a mother. She's old enough to be my sister!" I exclaim softly. So no one will eavesdrop on us. "Now, am I happy, Mum?" I ask her, my head tilting down, yet this time, not facing the pavement, more like almost looking streight ahead in contemplation.

"Confused is a much better word. I do like living in a home, first home in quite a long while," I begin, "but, part of me..I guess..is just..." Turning to her, I shrug, biting my lip as if I were relunctant to proceed. "Eh.." I manage. "I'm just 'aven' little trouble with dad being...good..and you two not being together." I say the last line quietly. Then spoke up as if it were crossed out on paper. "It's not..how I remember things..and he keeps on sayin' that you'll hurt me. I'm not an idiot, I'd know if you'd want to kill me, I mean... I'm not stupid. And you've proven to me that you won't, and I respect that."

[daft_dru]

I narrowed my eyes slightly at the Slayer's name. It wasn't intentional, or thought out--just...habit? Instinct? What amazed me was how her 'she'll never take your place' comment rang louder then anything she had said. As if I needed to hear that...just to be certain. I felt awful. To even question such a thing.

Smiling halfheartedly, I tucked her hair that the wind had strewn about her face behind her ear. I couldn't help but giggle a little when she mentioned her issues with Spike's current status.

"Trust me love, you're not the only one. But you'll get use to it I suppose." Granted, I haven't and it's been a while now, but she was young and would probably adjust a bit easier given enough time.

"I figured he'd fill your head with nasty lies, but it's nice to hear you've got you own mind--which might even be a bit sharper than his--to know that I'd never hurt you."

[magic_courtney]

I lean my head unconciously against her shoulder, though, she only was about maybe five inches taller than I was, granted she had heels on. Why did I have to be so tall? Why?

"I guess I'm a poser child for 'divorice' parents, now am I?" I look at her, my tone awas humorous, yet I added a silent 'sorry', just in case.

I look at her and smile softly, as my head still rested against her shoulder. My grin widens at her compliment. "I just know.."

I sigh, raising my head, furrowing my brows annoyedly.

"If you'd kill kill me, you'd already done it. He thinks I'm stupid and naive, but I have read up on you two. I'd would of known..I wish he'd realize that." I sigh, exasperatedly. "I love you, even if you did try to kill me..or anyone, I'd still love you." I look her in the eyes now, seriously. "You're my mother, and I'd say the same thing to him if he didn't have a soul."