i'm completely numb.
so out of the blue yesterday travis calls me at 630pm to tell me that he can't be in this relationship anymore. that he realized i deserved more than just a weekend boyfriend and right now he can't give me anything more than that...so in his mind he's determined that it's not going to work out and he doesn't want to be with me hoping things will
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I know you are incredibly lost right now and I am sorry that you are hurting, but maybe you should try to see how this could be for the best. What if you had moved to CT, completely up rooted your life for him and then he sprung this on you. With your decision to move closer to him he realized he was never going to be enough for you and did the adult thing by not letting you ruin your life.
I know you cant see the benefit to him not being in your life right now, but I know that will change. You could use this as a motivator to travel, move, do something "un-Christine." You already knew you wanted a change so do it. I never thought you were going to be happy in Hartford, there is nothing there. People only move there if they want to work in insurance. You could still move, go to Florida, the Carolinas, Hawaii. Nothing is holding you back.
Of course you have a hole in your heart right now, you love him, but I know that you are going to be a better stronger person from all this. You cant make someone commit for life and if you did you would both be miserable. If he cant feel the same way you do about him then you deserve better anyway. Things dont always work out the way that we want them too, but they do work out the way they are supposed to, just remember that.
I am always here to talk, but be aware that I will be nothing but truthful about how this is so much better for you. I hope you feel better, eat something, because if you get to skinny I will have to call you fat again. Go get a massage or something else that is completely selfish, just think about you for a little while.
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and you and nicole. she's been telling me to eat all day too. i didn't have dinner last night, and barely got down anything for breakfast, but i have consumed a banana, coffee and oj, oh yeah and my vitamins and bc pill. that's all gotta count for something!
thank you. i'm sure i'll be calling you too. times like these are when friends matter the most. and yes, i'm going to sit down and evaluate everything. i'll have been at KPMG for 5 years next June. I plan to try and stay here till then, but i might try to move out of my apartment into something cheaper, or move home for a bit. then i think i'm going to look to transfer somewhere else. i need to move, i need to be somewhere else, i need a new life.
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