(no subject)
Wowie
So it all started last Saturday. Stomach pains, dizziness, hurt to laugh, hard to walk. It was hell. See, me and Brooke had a High School Placement test for the private school Marian. An $8,000 school to attend, and that test determinded a scholarship for it. I was all stressed out about it. Something that might have caused what I think I have. An ulcer. For everyone who doesn't know, it's basically a hole in your stomache caused from stress. That about sums it up. And yea I look back and notice that I have been through a lot of stress. Ha, Brittney even said today "You're in middle school. How can you be that stressed out?" And I didn't know what to say. I guess maybe its me whos putting all the stress on myself? I tend to be overdramatic about things. ALOT! But anyways..after the test on Saturday, I thought I did pretty well on it. Got that off my back. We went out to lunch and my stomach just got worse. Went to the mall and wasn't myself. Went back to Brooke's and started to watch a movie and my aches FINALLY went away. Then mommy picked me up and I went home. They went away for the night and the next day. Maybe I was getting better? haha.. Sunday night I called Travis. Hadn't talked to him since Thursday. All he had to say to me was that he was annoyed of me and didn't want to talk. He left me in tears and I just hung up. That selfish jerk.
Remember my last entry? How I cleary said I wasn't going to speak to Travis again. wow what was I thinking. He's like my air. I need to hear his voice to live on. But when he treats me like nothing, I don't notice it and move on. Silly me runs back to him everytime. That night I wrote the last entry, me Kc, and Shannon guessed Travis's password to his email. I had to read it all. The emails from him to Christy. The girl he shamelessly broke up with me for. Every word stabbed me like a knife..right through the heart. It was as if I were reading his emails to ME, not her. But it showed me he loved her the same way he did me, as so he said. He saw her more than me, and she was prettier than me. That night I had dreams about seeing Travis and Christy, walking down the street together..happy. And there I was still this little girl, learning all the bad in the world, when they had each other. I'd wake up and see Kc and Shannon sleeping, I felt alone. Not wanting to go back to sleep. Didn't want to see them together again. Like fire in my eyes. I tried to forget it all the next day. It worked.
But moving on..this last monday, Travis was nicer and my stomache ache was dissapearing I thought. Tuesday morning I woke up and was so out of it! I didn't sleep at all that night. I had a stupid Spanish test that day that I was very unprepared for. Mom called me in sick. And I went back to bed. Had a crappy day on the couch. Watched Titanic and actually DIDN'T cry! I was proud of myself. Today, went back to school. Math was crazy, I didn't understand any of it, and of course my horrible stomach cramps came back. Called mom and she said stay in school. So I did. Made it through.
Monday was proabably the best day I'd had in awhile. Me and Brooke were laughing in class non-stop like old times *haha* and I just wasn't depressed at all. And I wasn't Tuesday either. But today ahh just hit me like a big yellow school bus! BOOM! There I was crying. And I didn't know why. Was it Travis? Family? I had no clue. But I wasn't happy at all. Tomorrow's Thanksgiving..just making sure you're all up to date. :D
Adding a smile for you all because that was just too depressing. Our whole family (Mom's brother-his kids, Mom's sister-her kids) is actually going to be up there all at the same time. This hasn't happened since I don't know when. But I just love the feeling of everyone kept in the house on a winter day. Laughing at each other's jokes and talking about the past. Everyone was happy. Then I watched some home videos of me, my siter and my brother when we were VERY tiny. Life was so easy!
My stomache is hurting mucho bad right now so maybe its time for me to get some sleep.
ha..now spell out ihop and say the word 'ness'
hehe :p
So it all started last Saturday. Stomach pains, dizziness, hurt to laugh, hard to walk. It was hell. See, me and Brooke had a High School Placement test for the private school Marian. An $8,000 school to attend, and that test determinded a scholarship for it. I was all stressed out about it. Something that might have caused what I think I have. An ulcer. For everyone who doesn't know, it's basically a hole in your stomache caused from stress. That about sums it up. And yea I look back and notice that I have been through a lot of stress. Ha, Brittney even said today "You're in middle school. How can you be that stressed out?" And I didn't know what to say. I guess maybe its me whos putting all the stress on myself? I tend to be overdramatic about things. ALOT! But anyways..after the test on Saturday, I thought I did pretty well on it. Got that off my back. We went out to lunch and my stomach just got worse. Went to the mall and wasn't myself. Went back to Brooke's and started to watch a movie and my aches FINALLY went away. Then mommy picked me up and I went home. They went away for the night and the next day. Maybe I was getting better? haha.. Sunday night I called Travis. Hadn't talked to him since Thursday. All he had to say to me was that he was annoyed of me and didn't want to talk. He left me in tears and I just hung up. That selfish jerk.
Remember my last entry? How I cleary said I wasn't going to speak to Travis again. wow what was I thinking. He's like my air. I need to hear his voice to live on. But when he treats me like nothing, I don't notice it and move on. Silly me runs back to him everytime. That night I wrote the last entry, me Kc, and Shannon guessed Travis's password to his email. I had to read it all. The emails from him to Christy. The girl he shamelessly broke up with me for. Every word stabbed me like a knife..right through the heart. It was as if I were reading his emails to ME, not her. But it showed me he loved her the same way he did me, as so he said. He saw her more than me, and she was prettier than me. That night I had dreams about seeing Travis and Christy, walking down the street together..happy. And there I was still this little girl, learning all the bad in the world, when they had each other. I'd wake up and see Kc and Shannon sleeping, I felt alone. Not wanting to go back to sleep. Didn't want to see them together again. Like fire in my eyes. I tried to forget it all the next day. It worked.
But moving on..this last monday, Travis was nicer and my stomache ache was dissapearing I thought. Tuesday morning I woke up and was so out of it! I didn't sleep at all that night. I had a stupid Spanish test that day that I was very unprepared for. Mom called me in sick. And I went back to bed. Had a crappy day on the couch. Watched Titanic and actually DIDN'T cry! I was proud of myself. Today, went back to school. Math was crazy, I didn't understand any of it, and of course my horrible stomach cramps came back. Called mom and she said stay in school. So I did. Made it through.
Monday was proabably the best day I'd had in awhile. Me and Brooke were laughing in class non-stop like old times *haha* and I just wasn't depressed at all. And I wasn't Tuesday either. But today ahh just hit me like a big yellow school bus! BOOM! There I was crying. And I didn't know why. Was it Travis? Family? I had no clue. But I wasn't happy at all. Tomorrow's Thanksgiving..just making sure you're all up to date. :D
Adding a smile for you all because that was just too depressing. Our whole family (Mom's brother-his kids, Mom's sister-her kids) is actually going to be up there all at the same time. This hasn't happened since I don't know when. But I just love the feeling of everyone kept in the house on a winter day. Laughing at each other's jokes and talking about the past. Everyone was happy. Then I watched some home videos of me, my siter and my brother when we were VERY tiny. Life was so easy!
My stomache is hurting mucho bad right now so maybe its time for me to get some sleep.
ha..now spell out ihop and say the word 'ness'
hehe :p