tears
it just hit me yesterday when i got a postcard from my dad
and i saw the back first and it said, "i made it home, at least for a little while." and i didnt understand, i thought he was calling iraq home, but i flipped over the post card and started crying, it was a photograph of heidelberg.
i dont even miss the people so much anymore, but i just miss being there, and having something in my hands that was just there, made me so sad
i miss everything about it there
its been 4 years and i am still unbelievably sad when i hear anything about it
i used to love the neckar river, the castles, the schwimmbad, the haupstrass, the ice train, the mountains, the snow, the food, i miss it all
it was the best place to grow up
it was where my family was happy and perfect
not broken and apart, thats what america has done
you were at the center of the world it felt like
you could be anywhere you wanted at any time you felt like going
england was a 2 hour plane ride away france was a 2 hour drive, you could just be anywhere
i think the fact that i miss it so much is why i have a problem setting myself into new places because none of them ever feel permanent
i have always felt like i'll make it back there, back to where i feel like its home
i hate living in america
i always have
people are so close minded
i dont think before i moved here that i ever thought someone was ignorant, but when i got here i realized the whole lot of them were
when i'm finished with college i want to be able to go back home
to heidelberg
its where i want to have all my memories
its where if i had kids that i'd want them to grow up
where if i got married then thats where i'd want it to be
and where i'd want to be buried when i die
i know those are some pretty huge things to say but if one postcard can still provoke feelings like this after 4 years then these feelings arent any passing emotion
i've got an entire childhood of memories behind me in that place
its where i first drove, where i got my first kiss, it was like my first everything happened there, its where i met my best friend in the world, and its the only place i ever left and wanted to go back to
i seriously wish my family would have never left there
i bet that my parents would still be together
and they would still be happy
i probably wouldnt be as fucked up as i am now
i wouldnt feel like such a failure at everything
and i can honestly say that i wouldnt care at all to give up the experiences i've had since moving to america
to be able to go back and have kept on living in germany
X
and i saw the back first and it said, "i made it home, at least for a little while." and i didnt understand, i thought he was calling iraq home, but i flipped over the post card and started crying, it was a photograph of heidelberg.
i dont even miss the people so much anymore, but i just miss being there, and having something in my hands that was just there, made me so sad
i miss everything about it there
its been 4 years and i am still unbelievably sad when i hear anything about it
i used to love the neckar river, the castles, the schwimmbad, the haupstrass, the ice train, the mountains, the snow, the food, i miss it all
it was the best place to grow up
it was where my family was happy and perfect
not broken and apart, thats what america has done
you were at the center of the world it felt like
you could be anywhere you wanted at any time you felt like going
england was a 2 hour plane ride away france was a 2 hour drive, you could just be anywhere
i think the fact that i miss it so much is why i have a problem setting myself into new places because none of them ever feel permanent
i have always felt like i'll make it back there, back to where i feel like its home
i hate living in america
i always have
people are so close minded
i dont think before i moved here that i ever thought someone was ignorant, but when i got here i realized the whole lot of them were
when i'm finished with college i want to be able to go back home
to heidelberg
its where i want to have all my memories
its where if i had kids that i'd want them to grow up
where if i got married then thats where i'd want it to be
and where i'd want to be buried when i die
i know those are some pretty huge things to say but if one postcard can still provoke feelings like this after 4 years then these feelings arent any passing emotion
i've got an entire childhood of memories behind me in that place
its where i first drove, where i got my first kiss, it was like my first everything happened there, its where i met my best friend in the world, and its the only place i ever left and wanted to go back to
i seriously wish my family would have never left there
i bet that my parents would still be together
and they would still be happy
i probably wouldnt be as fucked up as i am now
i wouldnt feel like such a failure at everything
and i can honestly say that i wouldnt care at all to give up the experiences i've had since moving to america
to be able to go back and have kept on living in germany
X