(no subject)

[sunny_j]

I just woke up from the most awful dream...

I was at Channel Point, a nursing home back home
and I was looking for my Grandma's room
except I couldn't find it, anywhere
it was room 820.
I went to the desk and asked where to find it
and the lady was so nice
so we talked for a bit about the classes they could take there
and it seemed like a good place
so I went to find the room
All down the hallway where I was walking there were gravestones
set up on memorial easels
and I realized that it was a place of dying
I went to my grandmother's room
and there was nothing there but office equipment
and I was really distressed
so I went out into the hallway and started walking
but she found me
and told me everything was going to be all right
we sat down on a couch with my grandpa
and she rubbed my leg
and said again that everything was going to be all right

I woke up crying and couldn't figure out why
then I remembered why it was a sad dream
because my grandpa died twelve years ago
and we put my grandma in a nursing home this summer
and half the time she doesn't know who we are
and I'm so scared of death
and I don't want her to go
or my dad to be sad
oh god...