(no subject)
Hmm so Im back, Its really weird going home now. First time in two weeks, and the longest Ive ever gone. Its different than it was last semester bc even though I went to school I still came home every weekend. And now I dont, and now I have to drive an hour instead of 10 minuets to get back. And then church was good. I dont know I mean now I'm fine but when I first get back it was rough there for a few hours I do get lonely not having anyone to talk to. I really hope that it does get better.
Then honestly its been a while but I started to think about him again. And I dont know why, was it because i was in Portland again, and thats where he is?? IDK Ive been doing fine, but lately.... I havent even seen hime for like a month now, the longest time Ive ever had a crush almost a year, hey thats good for me, but I think I know that deep down inside that nothing could ever amount to anything. Why?? I think it would just be too complicated, the age difference isnt all that bad a few years, but I think that the other people that are involved would get hurt or wouldnt understand. I also think that I myself the drama queen that I am sometimes am making this way bigger than it is. There are alot of people here but I am trying so hard to stay true, and not go there. At least for the next month or so. I am doing so well right now, Ive studied really hard for my test tomorrow, and Ive been better focused lately with out that distraction. Which is kind of odd, going from an all girls school to now a co ed you would think it would be the opposite, but its not. I dont know. I think honetly right now I do need to focus on myself and school, friends not him or any other hims that are going to come. And if its ment to be with him then by some maricle he'll get that job down here or I will see him again before Summer.
So then my updates are always so long. I did however finally watch the finiale to SATC and the second to last epi really hit home just with her leaving all her friends and granted Im not going to Paris but still sometimes its even harder going only 60 miles away and being so close and yet so far away. Hmm I just think that well I dont know what I am thinking, I think that will come with time. But Im looking at the time and I have to be somewhere at 7:00 so I should say good bye and that I hope you weekends were good and to have a happy tomorrow!! :)