(no subject)
when did the holidays get so crappy? i want to be 8 again, so all of my grandparents and everyone else could come over, and christmas was filled with family, and church, and love and lots and lots of exciting presents. at 18, all my grandparents are dead, everyone else we don't talk to, adam and i already have our presents, hopefully we get to go to church, and this entire break is filled with wondering who's mad at me, way too much self-evaluation/peer evaluation (and neither have been very happy), and grieving all over again.
i'm just so glad i have consistency in my family and best friend. that never changes, and it's so unconditional that everything's understood and easy to fix. and you can work on problems without feeling like the world's worst person.
so maybe i'm being melodramatic over this past week and a half. there still is so much love, and there have been wonderful points. and christmas is about Jesus. who also has been neglected by moi.
i have so much to do. this is one huge mountain to cross. but anything's possible with God, right? :)
merry christmas, and God bless.