(no subject)
I feel a bit shitty today.
I took my first driving lesson (where I had to drive the car in traffic) and I sucked.
Now, I drove in Finland for 7 Kms, I repeat: SEVEN Kms, and everything went fine, also drove with my mum (not meaning she screamed because was afraid I could hit a pale 3 meters far away) in a area without traffic and everything was ok, but with the driving teacher I sucked.
I know it's stupid, but I feel depressed. And demotivated.
And I think it's not only the driving thing, it' s general. I feel sad and fragile.
I feel like crying too often.
Because at work sometimes after spending hours explaining something to the kids they seem not to understand or remember anything.
Because I have no time at all, and I end up studying in nights.
Because I sleep too less and I feel always tired during the day.
Because I would wanna come back home and feel someone really is looking to see me, that needs me, that wanna enjoy his/her time with me, but there is no one.
The only one is Ju, my love; but it's not the same. he is far away, and again I need words to explain how I feel, what I did during the day. I wouldn't wanna use words anymore, I wouldn't wanna explain because he would understand by his own. Sometimes I feel like him is one of my musts of the day also, and it sucks. Don't misunderstand, I wanna hear from him, talking with him it's the best moment of the day, but it would be much better if I could come home and be in his arms.
Sometimes I feel like I have no one here. Not here in Napoli at least, all the persons I love most are far away, starting from Ju, then my sister, A. & A., so what the hell I am doing here? I wanna leave. I don't wanna fight against the life alone.
Somewhere else I know I wouldn't have an easier life, but I would have someone who is glad to support me.
[Sorry for the nonsense and the sad post]
I took my first driving lesson (where I had to drive the car in traffic) and I sucked.
Now, I drove in Finland for 7 Kms, I repeat: SEVEN Kms, and everything went fine, also drove with my mum (not meaning she screamed because was afraid I could hit a pale 3 meters far away) in a area without traffic and everything was ok, but with the driving teacher I sucked.
I know it's stupid, but I feel depressed. And demotivated.
And I think it's not only the driving thing, it' s general. I feel sad and fragile.
I feel like crying too often.
Because at work sometimes after spending hours explaining something to the kids they seem not to understand or remember anything.
Because I have no time at all, and I end up studying in nights.
Because I sleep too less and I feel always tired during the day.
Because I would wanna come back home and feel someone really is looking to see me, that needs me, that wanna enjoy his/her time with me, but there is no one.
The only one is Ju, my love; but it's not the same. he is far away, and again I need words to explain how I feel, what I did during the day. I wouldn't wanna use words anymore, I wouldn't wanna explain because he would understand by his own. Sometimes I feel like him is one of my musts of the day also, and it sucks. Don't misunderstand, I wanna hear from him, talking with him it's the best moment of the day, but it would be much better if I could come home and be in his arms.
Sometimes I feel like I have no one here. Not here in Napoli at least, all the persons I love most are far away, starting from Ju, then my sister, A. & A., so what the hell I am doing here? I wanna leave. I don't wanna fight against the life alone.
Somewhere else I know I wouldn't have an easier life, but I would have someone who is glad to support me.
[Sorry for the nonsense and the sad post]