got milk?
hehehe, i've been drinking alot of milk these days.... allen and i go through 3 or 4 gallons of milk a week. but when my stomach starts raging cause i'm stressed out, the milk makes it feel better. i could probably drink a gallon a day. if only water tasted that good....the worse this wedding planning gets and the crappier work gets the more milk i'll be drinking.....
today i've got like a kaleidescope of thoughts and feelings going on.... i woke up today from a dream about having to go to the bathroom. in my dream i was searching for a bathroom in my parents house but none of them would work. one had no seat. one was full of pinecones. it was just so strange!!! allen thinks i have extremely strange dreams and actually, i really do.... he's always like "Don't tell me anymore!" hahahahaha.....
i've been thinking about friendship and how each person defines that word in their own way.... i don't understand some people. one of my friends has pretty much cut me off. we had this thing where we'd talk online but not on the phone and we'd go weeks without seeing one another cause we were both so busy but then she stopped returning my calls and turned me down when i asked her to be in my wedding. and on her website she's been posting weird messages, making little barbed comments. obviously her cornflakes taste pissy but i don't know what the deal is. the short of it is that we've just grown apart and our paths are going in different directions. i'm well on my way to white bread middle class suburbia and i'm happy with it. and that's not the direction her life is heading. i dunno, maybe i'm just not "cool" enough for her anymore. whatever.... it's just baffling.... unless i somehow did something to her that i wasn't aware of... or maybe it's the culmination of all the little things... but i don't get it.
another thing that came to me this morning is am i deluded about myself? i've always had this feeling like i was meant for great things and that i'm meant to do something wonderful for the world. dunno how i'm doing that here and i don't see what road i'm sposed to take to get there. maybe i just have delusions of grandeur or something..... i just have no motivation.... i'm scared i'm going to drag allen down. i hope i don't fuck up his life....
i don't understand recreational drug use. i'm friends with alot of people who do that, but i just don't get it. but i don't like to feel out of control. so i don't get what the attraction is.... but as i've said before on here.... ice cream is my drug of choice!!! hehehe....
todays ice cream flavor: southern butter pecan. yum! :)
today i've got like a kaleidescope of thoughts and feelings going on.... i woke up today from a dream about having to go to the bathroom. in my dream i was searching for a bathroom in my parents house but none of them would work. one had no seat. one was full of pinecones. it was just so strange!!! allen thinks i have extremely strange dreams and actually, i really do.... he's always like "Don't tell me anymore!" hahahahaha.....
i've been thinking about friendship and how each person defines that word in their own way.... i don't understand some people. one of my friends has pretty much cut me off. we had this thing where we'd talk online but not on the phone and we'd go weeks without seeing one another cause we were both so busy but then she stopped returning my calls and turned me down when i asked her to be in my wedding. and on her website she's been posting weird messages, making little barbed comments. obviously her cornflakes taste pissy but i don't know what the deal is. the short of it is that we've just grown apart and our paths are going in different directions. i'm well on my way to white bread middle class suburbia and i'm happy with it. and that's not the direction her life is heading. i dunno, maybe i'm just not "cool" enough for her anymore. whatever.... it's just baffling.... unless i somehow did something to her that i wasn't aware of... or maybe it's the culmination of all the little things... but i don't get it.
another thing that came to me this morning is am i deluded about myself? i've always had this feeling like i was meant for great things and that i'm meant to do something wonderful for the world. dunno how i'm doing that here and i don't see what road i'm sposed to take to get there. maybe i just have delusions of grandeur or something..... i just have no motivation.... i'm scared i'm going to drag allen down. i hope i don't fuck up his life....
i don't understand recreational drug use. i'm friends with alot of people who do that, but i just don't get it. but i don't like to feel out of control. so i don't get what the attraction is.... but as i've said before on here.... ice cream is my drug of choice!!! hehehe....
todays ice cream flavor: southern butter pecan. yum! :)