half of the time we're gone, but we don't know where

[sunmissa]

Comments

risks and patterns

[veronica4883]

Hey sis- Thank you sooooo much foryour post the other day about being there for me and being concerned. I think what you've just said in this entry is very profound, and gets at the heart of what both (and most people I think) are struggling with. You see what I do, and see the ways in which I hurt myself, and think it sad and ridiculous sometimes. Yet, you know you (and everyone) is kind of in the same boat, each in their own way. For example, I look at you, with your fear of jumping in the lake, and say "WHY can't she just take the risk?? It's not that hard, and not that bad". But I can't fully understand how hard it is for you, just like you can't for me. I am just as stuck in my own ways as you are. I am generally happy with who I am, yet I realize from time to time that I am abusing myself, and I long to change. But in a way I don't want to, either. I think all we can do is reflect on ourselves, who we want to be, and how we can push ourselves out of a pattern. Take risks, little sis! But don't lose who you are, because your caution has given you some great things, like a grounding and a common sense/control that I don't really posess. I'm here for you too. I hope we don't bicker too much when I come home-I love you, can't wait to see you, and I am always here for you. I can be rash and stupid and stubborn and bitchy, but I think I can still be your friend and help you in many ways, just as you can help me. Love ya!