(no subject)
It has been quite some time since I have posted in my journal. Maybe it is time I began to be more consistent. I will try. I am only writing today because of the loss and emptiness I feel. For the last month I have been spending much of my time with a woman, Cindy. However, after revealing our feeling for one another, my fear has manifested itself, again. Why do I fall in love, only to have my heart and soul torn from my shell only to be pummeled? I love her. I will do as she asked. I will leave. How can one person say to another, "I love you. I need you to go away." I attempted to journey through love, once again, to watch it run away. I know love, because I know me. I know my heart and the endless capacity within me. Why cannot I find a woman who is accepting and recipricating toward my love? I stopped searching and anticipating for so long, only to find and lose the person I thought could enhance the moments in my life as much as I would for her. I just don't want to become more course as a result of this situation. My heart was numb and callous to love before this. How will my heart mend and fare...I wonder.