(no subject)
i like that. "you're not old enough to know what the hell you're doing in life, but you're old enough to screw it up. "
my problem is, i'm caught between being completely aware that everything i do has consequences in the long run and knowing that you only live once and each day could be your last, and wanting to make the most of it. i think the key is finding that happy medium, enjoying life but doing so with at least a little caution? perhaps.
~~ this is a response to another journal entry, but i felt like continuing the thought....
i know i know once again i am overstating the blatantly obvious and acting like its an original thought. so sue me. but i'm not gonna go into the whole everything in moderation and living life to the fullest and live everyday as if it were your last mindset... i do that enough, but.....
i was stopped by the 'but you're old enough to screw it up' part... i agree with the statement completely, but, it got me thinking, so tell me now, how exactly do you ( this is to no one in particular just in general even though it was a response to erin dearest) define screwing it up? not fulfilling all you're lifes goals? not living up to the dreams you have for yourself? most of these are unattainable goals anyways. life rarely works out as you planned. would screwing it all up be getting pregnant and becoming a mother and having to raise a child now? would screwing it up be getting into a car crash and losing your legs and having to learn to live in a wheelchair? at what point do the obstacles and hardships in life become screwing it up? yea. so there might be some extremes. become a drug addict and die of a heroin overdose. ok, i think that would be screweing it up. but really everything is all relative and based on preconceived ideals and ideas of what you want out of life or what you feel will make you happy. would screwing it up be falling in love and getting married only to be cheated on thirty years down the road and getting a divorce. would screwing it up be dovoting your life to a god only to die. and just die. would screwing it up be denying that god only to die and live eternally in a burning hell? is this life "hell"? would screwing it up be dropping out of college and working a low income job and ending up living in a run down house no where near the type of lifestyle you were raised in? wouild screwing it up be voting for a candidate who will worsen our economy and kill more of our troops in a pointless war? would screwing it up be spending 4 years and thousands of dollars on a college education only to graduate and not have a job? would screwing it up be fighting for a cause and never see any progress made in your direction?
and its not as if one day you will just be content. at what age do you stop working to get to that point in the future where you have succeeded and attained whatever it is you were working for? at what point in your life, your job, your family, etc are you fulfilled. never. i'm sure at some point you will finally just accept things, and stop striving for a change or more of this that and whatever the fuck, but not anytime soon, who knows, you will probably die before you get there. just talk to your parents. do you think they invisioned the life they lead now when they were 20 soemthing? nope. i know mine didnt. but are they screw ups? maybe by someones definition.
my point, long drawn out and lame as it is, is that you dont know what lies ahead in life, if anything at all, and life comes complete with obstacles and hardships and tragedies and surprises and unexpected turns left and right, and while certain things should be done so not to completely fuck yourself up, you really cant screw it up and shouldnt be worried about it. i'm not saying everything will be ok. because in your mind, theres a ton of possibilities that lie ahead, a million scenarios that arent 'ok' for you. so yeah, you're life might end up pretty shitty, but thats life. :o) i'm starting to talk in circles and not make much sense ( ok make less sense than i was before) but i'm gonna come back to this i think...