Good grief
Wow, I feel like ... like there's something wrong, but I don't know what. I hate fighting, but I feel like I need to. Maybe I should just go back to Jesus and put myself in His hands. I'm thinking He is the best place to be right now. ... Lol, yeah, that makes sense. God has been telling me I need to rest in Him. I guess thats pretty important. Someday I want to go to a place where all I will do is rest, and that would be nice. But alas, I'm not going to find that here anywhere. Just in Him. Hmm. Yeah.
I shared with my counselor today. No, this sentence is an attempt to change focus away from God. Wait, I'm not sure of that. I was going to say something. Why am I journaling again? My counselor said it was a good idea. We should all journal, its good for us from time to time, to get thoughts out and vent or expose, communicate and breathe out all those stuffy thoughts. Well, I mean maybe not everyone, but it does seem useful.
Wow, my mind is just a flurry of thoughts right now. No wonder I'm tired. Sometimes I wonder if I'm trying really hard not to be a pentecostal Christian... One of those on-fire, sold-out, die-hard, courageous, committed Christians whose stance is strong and heart is alive. I think I'm gravitating towards the weak, unwilling, unbelieving, diseased, heartless, uncaring, tired, and unmotivated type of man not usually characterized as Christian at all. I think I act and look like a non-believer. Ok, so, maybe thats a bit unfair, but its how I feel. If I have any sort of witness, ... Ok, thats enough of that. You can't be a witness if all your concerned about is your witness. Which is more important to me - looking like a Christian, or actually being one? I think I'd have to say the former. I'm noticing alot of... Dammit, there I go again... oh, good grief. Not sure which analysis is helping and which is hindering. I've heard of paralysis of analysis. I've certainly proven that true.
Anyhow, I just have to focus on God and let go a bit. Try to relax, and listen to Him and let him do His job. Hmm. Ok.
Time to go. This is a really strange oasis... lol No its not...
I shared with my counselor today. No, this sentence is an attempt to change focus away from God. Wait, I'm not sure of that. I was going to say something. Why am I journaling again? My counselor said it was a good idea. We should all journal, its good for us from time to time, to get thoughts out and vent or expose, communicate and breathe out all those stuffy thoughts. Well, I mean maybe not everyone, but it does seem useful.
Wow, my mind is just a flurry of thoughts right now. No wonder I'm tired. Sometimes I wonder if I'm trying really hard not to be a pentecostal Christian... One of those on-fire, sold-out, die-hard, courageous, committed Christians whose stance is strong and heart is alive. I think I'm gravitating towards the weak, unwilling, unbelieving, diseased, heartless, uncaring, tired, and unmotivated type of man not usually characterized as Christian at all. I think I act and look like a non-believer. Ok, so, maybe thats a bit unfair, but its how I feel. If I have any sort of witness, ... Ok, thats enough of that. You can't be a witness if all your concerned about is your witness. Which is more important to me - looking like a Christian, or actually being one? I think I'd have to say the former. I'm noticing alot of... Dammit, there I go again... oh, good grief. Not sure which analysis is helping and which is hindering. I've heard of paralysis of analysis. I've certainly proven that true.
Anyhow, I just have to focus on God and let go a bit. Try to relax, and listen to Him and let him do His job. Hmm. Ok.
Time to go. This is a really strange oasis... lol No its not...