Once again a to do list.
I am hoping to get my kitchen cleaned up to do some baking this weekend. I want date squares, chocolate chip toffee cookies, and maybe some thing else.. oh and the kids want rice krispie squares.
I have my tree up, lights are on, but I can't bring myself to put the family ornaments on it..
I am debating about not using them this year, and buying some generic balls and ornaments. I want it to look festive, and therefore I want to decorate it, but I am really struggling with the heirloom ornaments, because each of them holds a memory or a history, and I can't wrap my head around looking at them. I want to be able to respect them as I put them up, but this year I can't. I am so angry at my past family ( my mom and dad, granparents and extendeds), and not having any of them anymore ( I only have one living close family member, and he is an absent but loving alchoholic), all these little parts of them are too hard to deal with. I think I might get around to it, with a stiff drink in one hand, after the kids have gone to bed. I want it to be a happy memory for them, and Mom crying the whole time probably wouldn't do that.
Or maybe it is time to start a new tree with my real family, the people I love now, who love me too... my children, my husband, my close friends.
Maybe sometime this weekend, we will make some new ornaments to add, and skip the ones that don't make me feel good.
I have a ton of wrapping to do, but still don't feel "done" with my shopping. I keep feeling like someone isn't going to be satisfied, or is going to feel left out on Christmas morning.
Jess got a fairly large gift this year, A Yamaha electic guitar, and I feel like there aren't enough things for her to open. Especially because her brothers have tons of boxed things to open. At the same time, she is older and I don't want to pile her with little crap. I also worry about Jayson and Reg, because I feel like I haven't done my normal shopping for them.
I suppose I should focus on the boys since they are what Christmas is really all about, but I think I am trying to hard to live up to the Christmases past my Mother always made. She was amazing, the baking, and shopping. Christmas even in the really tight years were huge elaborate affairs, with much to open, great food, and lots of laughter. Maybe my Christmases are going to be different..? you would think I would know by now, since she's been gone almost 10 years.
Anyway, this was going to be a quick post with a christmas update, but it seems to have turned into something else.
Anyone have any good cookie recipes they want to share?
Merry Christmas!!
I have my tree up, lights are on, but I can't bring myself to put the family ornaments on it..
I am debating about not using them this year, and buying some generic balls and ornaments. I want it to look festive, and therefore I want to decorate it, but I am really struggling with the heirloom ornaments, because each of them holds a memory or a history, and I can't wrap my head around looking at them. I want to be able to respect them as I put them up, but this year I can't. I am so angry at my past family ( my mom and dad, granparents and extendeds), and not having any of them anymore ( I only have one living close family member, and he is an absent but loving alchoholic), all these little parts of them are too hard to deal with. I think I might get around to it, with a stiff drink in one hand, after the kids have gone to bed. I want it to be a happy memory for them, and Mom crying the whole time probably wouldn't do that.
Or maybe it is time to start a new tree with my real family, the people I love now, who love me too... my children, my husband, my close friends.
Maybe sometime this weekend, we will make some new ornaments to add, and skip the ones that don't make me feel good.
I have a ton of wrapping to do, but still don't feel "done" with my shopping. I keep feeling like someone isn't going to be satisfied, or is going to feel left out on Christmas morning.
Jess got a fairly large gift this year, A Yamaha electic guitar, and I feel like there aren't enough things for her to open. Especially because her brothers have tons of boxed things to open. At the same time, she is older and I don't want to pile her with little crap. I also worry about Jayson and Reg, because I feel like I haven't done my normal shopping for them.
I suppose I should focus on the boys since they are what Christmas is really all about, but I think I am trying to hard to live up to the Christmases past my Mother always made. She was amazing, the baking, and shopping. Christmas even in the really tight years were huge elaborate affairs, with much to open, great food, and lots of laughter. Maybe my Christmases are going to be different..? you would think I would know by now, since she's been gone almost 10 years.
Anyway, this was going to be a quick post with a christmas update, but it seems to have turned into something else.
Anyone have any good cookie recipes they want to share?
Merry Christmas!!