it's been a long long while
there is something intensely therapeutic about listening to Bob Ross. well, of course there is. he’s got an amazing voice.
i am relaxing right now. telling myself i’ll go to the gym, sure, but still i sit here. maybe i’ll take the bus. whatev.
Jake and i just got back from San Diego yesterday. this trip coming on the heels of my release form yet another semester. I’ve got my eye on December, believe-you-me.
it was nice there, really. i say that now, though while we were there i thought it was damn cold. and windy. 65 degrees, in May?!?! wild. we went to the zoo and got some fantastic shots. here’s my question, though--what happened to all the tigers? they had one, ONE, Malayan tiger. he was gorgeous. i don’t even like cats that much. well, not little cats, like housecats. i can’t abide them--i feel aggressive, sometimes almost hostile. housecats walk around and piss on things and act very proud, but they’re nothing. they’re worthless. big cats though--they are majestic. how can i even call them cats? they’re powerful creatures, full of mystic wisdom, or so it seems to me. maybe it’s just that i feel like i’m somehow one of them.
actually, i took the “What’s Your Daemon” quiz on http://www.goldencompassmovie.com/ and got a Tiger named Photion. obviously. that’s my Chinese Zodiac sign, as a matter of fact, and i’ve always felt rather tiger-ish. i think it’s a perfect fit.
god, but i do love tigers.
saw some pandas, gorillas, and ice bears (check that, polar bears) at the zoo, too. lovely. animals are fantastic.
since my last post (gasp!) on Halloween, i’ve been typical. busy. school and work--i left the registers to play Paperchase supervisor, and i like it. my sales are down, but aren’t everyone’s? it’s just a job, anywhat, NOT a career, so why worry?
let’s see, i turned 22. that was alright--spent the ENTIRE day doing homework, though. fuck that--next year, i’m playing.
i read the “His Dark Materials” trilogy, and OH MY GOD, if that wasn’t the most amazing thing I’ve ever read. when i finished i got a little depressed. i mean, you finish a series like Harry Potter and you miss the story and characters a bit, but you move on without much ado. but no, not HDM--i felt homesick for the story, like it became an integral part of my life…..i resonated with it so much, and to have it suddenly not there was like losing a friend. i know it’s stupid, but that’s how it felt.
so READ IT!!!!! even if you saw the movie, please, read the series. i can’t offer it anything but paramount praise.
that brings me to the state of the world, which has not improved since i last graced these pages but has rather spiraled further into the proverbial shitfest. to all you people who voted for Evil 1 and Evil 2 (read: bush&cheney, inc.), i say the following:
FUCK YOU.
SHAME ON YOU.
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY NOW.
I HOPE YOU’VE REAPED EXACTLY WHAT YOU’VE SOWN AND THEN SOME.
and this, most important:
I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO.
ahh, there now, i feel better. well, not really. people voted for this assface in ‘04 why? because they thought he could be a strong leader in tumultuous times. they were afraid of change. WELL WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU CALL THESE TIMES, THEN, HUH? YOU WANNA KEEP ON THE SAME PATH OF DESTRUCTION? the definition of insanity is: showing a complete and persistent lack of reason or foresight.
well, you certainly displayed no capacity of foresight.
your persistent claims that bush would be the best choice (based on what, his previously stellar record?) showed an utter lack of reason. kinda like a gambler who’s gone $10,000 into debt, but he keep playing, thinking, “this time i’ll win…..this time i’ll win…..”
well, congrats. i hope you can no longer afford to drive. i hope you’ve lost a great amount because of your stupidity. you know why i wish those things? because we’re ALL having to suffer now for YOUR stupidity. see that kid at the store wearing old shoes that are obviously too small? the one waiting while his mother tries to find the cheapest medicine to cure his cough (she can’t take him to the doctor because she can’t afford health insurance)? if you see that kid and you feel you heart break a little, well then you just go right ahead and pat yourself on the back. you see that old man crying as he walks down the street, crying because he lost his daughter in this senseless war? again, thank yourself, and i hope to god or whatever power governs us, that your heart SHATTERS.
wow, so moving on. as you can see, i’m fucking livid. we had choices and we fucked them up. i fear this country’s only a step away from extreme censorship and forced worship at state-approved (christian) churches. because, as a result of our many fuck-ups, the power-mad right-wing christian radicals are gaining disgusting control of this country. teaching “intelligent design” in PUBLIC schools?!?! WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE?! i am not a christian, i don’t believe Jesus was ANYTHING more than a man with a wonderful message of PEACE and ACCEPTANCE, a message that christians today have twisted into something ugly--a tool for war and persecution and the obtaining of power. sick. how could i follow such a bloody faith? as for me, i cant’ buy into it. i appreciate the GOOD christians, people who follow that original good message of peace. there aren’t that many: Jake’s mom is one.
i think most people, though, call themselves christians so they’re not labeled “weird” or anything. but they have no interest in peace.
who would Jesus kill?
think about that.
as for me, i’m coming down off my soapbox now. it’s been a good post. i just don’t have anything more to say for the moment.
also jetzt, sage ich, tschü ß !!!
~shaina