?
hmm... wut to say wut to say.... hmmmm. ok here goes. as ive been telling alex. IM CONFLICTED.
i like him im just not sure if i LIKE him like him. this has happened before. and i totally regret what i did with it. hes nice, and funny, and easy to talk to, and he cares. URG! why dont i? its not like i dont care about him, i just dont care about him on a high enough level. FUCK, and i feel like maybe im leading him on? but like, im not trying to, i keep thinking i can talk myself into liking him... i dont think i can, and i really dont wana hurt him.
i think maybe im just horny. and for once in my life i want a REAL boyfriend. who isnt afraid of commitment, who cares.. deeply. and who i actually REALLY REALLY like.
life hates me.
On another note!
i "joined" kite and music club.
and actually i really like it. i think possibly thats the most relaxed ive been sinse school started, at school. it was sweet. ive been bitching at the group to eat outside. they always give me some bs reason why they cant. so now i get to once a week! PLUS! tech is cool. i generally like the new people, however i dont know em. building things takes like 2 seconds lol. it used to take forever. plus i LOVE that rico's in it. infact were doin a home depot run tonite. GOD i love home depot!
i like him im just not sure if i LIKE him like him. this has happened before. and i totally regret what i did with it. hes nice, and funny, and easy to talk to, and he cares. URG! why dont i? its not like i dont care about him, i just dont care about him on a high enough level. FUCK, and i feel like maybe im leading him on? but like, im not trying to, i keep thinking i can talk myself into liking him... i dont think i can, and i really dont wana hurt him.
i think maybe im just horny. and for once in my life i want a REAL boyfriend. who isnt afraid of commitment, who cares.. deeply. and who i actually REALLY REALLY like.
life hates me.
On another note!
i "joined" kite and music club.
and actually i really like it. i think possibly thats the most relaxed ive been sinse school started, at school. it was sweet. ive been bitching at the group to eat outside. they always give me some bs reason why they cant. so now i get to once a week! PLUS! tech is cool. i generally like the new people, however i dont know em. building things takes like 2 seconds lol. it used to take forever. plus i LOVE that rico's in it. infact were doin a home depot run tonite. GOD i love home depot!