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[sunkistboy]

I know. That's what I wanted. Now I am free, yes, right. I'm not mad at the way things went, I'm actually pretty happy, but I can't help feeling dead empty. The breakup was so weird, it was fake. It's as if Philippe saw me drift away, so he dove into some kind of defence mechanism, keeping him from being too sad. I mean, it was SO weird, him

Comments

[sunkistboy]

I was about to respond to your entry; I think I'll do it here. I wish I could have been there to see your play, I really do, because I know that what you live sometimes is so bizarrely similar to what I am experiencing, and because I think you are an amazing writer. It shows even in the tiniest comments you send, the entries you write, the emails I've received from you. I'm sorry you had to deal with all those mixed emotions on that special night, but I am happy to see that you are now thankful, and proud, and filled with amazing feelings.

I don't know though, if I am tired of apologizing for who I am. I'm kinda like that, a little weak, and feeling bad for who I am, and almost trying to hide it from the world, and from myself. I guess it might be a part of my personal development to finally be proud of who is Louis in its core. But, you've expressed one of life's greatest paradox so well. Life is great, but life is so empty. Everything goes away as fast as it came, we can't hold on to anything, or at least I can't, but as you said, and I know it, I am not alone. I also am alone, completely alone. I am not alone being alone. We run in circles. It's crazy.

When are the other representations of this play, Mikey? If I can't make it, do you think it would be possible for me to read it, or not?

Have a wonderful night,

Louis

[mikeybelcher]

Louis,

I hope you don't think I am ever trying to tell you how you feel or trying to explain you in just a few words. You are much more complex than that. I could never describe the depth of your emotions...I was just saying that what you said reminded me of part of my play. I hope you didn't think I was being annoying.

The next two performances are on Wed the 10th and Sat the 13th. If you can't make it I would definitely send you a copy of my play.

Life is definitely crazy. I hope you find out what it means to YOU.

xoxox, Mikey

[sunkistboy]

Oi, I'm sorry if I made it sound like I was annoyed, because I most certainly was not. I was grateful because once again you made me think and reflect on myself. I was just sharing what came out of my reflection. And the complexity of it all just numbs me into more laziness.

I can't be in Montreal for Wednesday for sure, and Saturday is going to be hard too. I'll see what I can do.

[mikeybelcher]

It's okay if you can't make it. The lone fact that you want to means the world to me.

:) Mikey