Have you ever looked fear in the face, and said I just don't care
Random - I'm in love with that song, Glitter in the Air, by Pink.
I wish I could sing without having the windows and mirrors around me crack. I also wish I could write more interesting and possibly slightly amusing entries. One of my favorite authors, Jen Lancaster, blogs and writes memoirs about her life. And while we're essentially doing the same thing - writing about life - I find her entries just hysterical! I guess that's why she's able to live off her writing and I don't. Ha.
Speaking of making a living, I just had my one year anniversary at work. Seriously - where does time go? At my yearly evaluation, Ann, my boss told me she had great things in mind for me. I seriously love my job and love the people I work with even more.
But as much as I love my job, I've been having panic attacks (for lack of a better term), of what I'm really going to do when I grow up. I love what I'm doing right now because of the people and because it's still has enough of a challenge and is stimulating. But I really worry that five, seven, ten years down the road, will I still enjoy doing what I do? I mean, I can always transfer to another hospital, even do trauma surgery where a lot more unexpected would come through the door, but I imagine that even then, that becomes routine. And honestly in nursing, there isn't much room to "grow" besides going into management - and I NEVER want to go into management. I could always go to another unit, but lets be honest. Wiping an old person's poopy ass makes me vomit, and people annoy me (nurse of the year, right here.) I could get my NP - but I'm not a fan of primary care (see the statement above about people annoying me). I've thought of going to anesthesia school to be a CRNA, but I would need to leave my beloved operating room and work in the ICU for at least a year (see the part about not liking people or poop). I've also thought about going to PA-C school, where I could work either for a surgeon or a hospital and still be around my love, which is surgery. And then I worry that if I leave and go back to school and invest a lot of money in it - what if I hate it? Sometimes I wish I would have just followed my dream and planned to go to medical school from the beginning. If I could wake up tomorrow and be anything that I wanted, I would be an orthopaedic surgeon who specializes in joint replacements. (Funny how joint rooms are my favorite. To me, it just doesn't seem like real surgery if there isn't saws, drills, mallets, and bone pieces flying around the room.) Sometimes I really think I settled for nursing because I was soo burnt out from school - before I even got to college - that the thought of even two years of grad school, let alone 4+ for med school made me sick. And who knows, maybe I'm just having these doubts/second thoughts because it's back to college season. Ever since I've left school I've felt like I'm missing out on the greatest thing ever, and well, I am.
I wish I could sing without having the windows and mirrors around me crack. I also wish I could write more interesting and possibly slightly amusing entries. One of my favorite authors, Jen Lancaster, blogs and writes memoirs about her life. And while we're essentially doing the same thing - writing about life - I find her entries just hysterical! I guess that's why she's able to live off her writing and I don't. Ha.
Speaking of making a living, I just had my one year anniversary at work. Seriously - where does time go? At my yearly evaluation, Ann, my boss told me she had great things in mind for me. I seriously love my job and love the people I work with even more.
But as much as I love my job, I've been having panic attacks (for lack of a better term), of what I'm really going to do when I grow up. I love what I'm doing right now because of the people and because it's still has enough of a challenge and is stimulating. But I really worry that five, seven, ten years down the road, will I still enjoy doing what I do? I mean, I can always transfer to another hospital, even do trauma surgery where a lot more unexpected would come through the door, but I imagine that even then, that becomes routine. And honestly in nursing, there isn't much room to "grow" besides going into management - and I NEVER want to go into management. I could always go to another unit, but lets be honest. Wiping an old person's poopy ass makes me vomit, and people annoy me (nurse of the year, right here.) I could get my NP - but I'm not a fan of primary care (see the statement above about people annoying me). I've thought of going to anesthesia school to be a CRNA, but I would need to leave my beloved operating room and work in the ICU for at least a year (see the part about not liking people or poop). I've also thought about going to PA-C school, where I could work either for a surgeon or a hospital and still be around my love, which is surgery. And then I worry that if I leave and go back to school and invest a lot of money in it - what if I hate it? Sometimes I wish I would have just followed my dream and planned to go to medical school from the beginning. If I could wake up tomorrow and be anything that I wanted, I would be an orthopaedic surgeon who specializes in joint replacements. (Funny how joint rooms are my favorite. To me, it just doesn't seem like real surgery if there isn't saws, drills, mallets, and bone pieces flying around the room.) Sometimes I really think I settled for nursing because I was soo burnt out from school - before I even got to college - that the thought of even two years of grad school, let alone 4+ for med school made me sick. And who knows, maybe I'm just having these doubts/second thoughts because it's back to college season. Ever since I've left school I've felt like I'm missing out on the greatest thing ever, and well, I am.