Damn you..cards...
So...been thinking about my damned self-inflicted tarot reading for a while.
Yeah yeah...I've been neglecting real life. I need to get my life on track again. Less WoW, more actual social interaction. I've been irritable, depressed, and restless at times, and especially lately.
Been waiting for something to change my life I guess...something to fall into my hands, but I was silly to think it would. I must be the catalyst for the change in my life.
I have been living in the dreams of the Cups suit, giving in to my Piscean nature for far too long. I want to start making my dreams reality. I dream of helping people, of having a purpose in life, of being in a loving relationship, of building a house from the ground up, of being in a rock band, of having my name be remembered.
I want to be more than just a name in the Obituaries.
This is my first real, serious post. Who knows...I might start writing poetry again and posting it in here. Or I might make it a place to think through what I want to do with my life. I feel the world opening like the million petals of a lotus flower from the dreams of the Hindu. But what I see inside it does not do justice to the beauty in the petals, the shade that masked my perceptions as a child.
The real world is cold, sterile, lifeless. Filled with dreams of riches that will ultimately amount to nothing. Fulfillment is more than money...I just haven't grasped what that is yet. My only fear is that I am simply trying to find a way to give myself a hope that things are not as they seem today.
Yeah yeah...I've been neglecting real life. I need to get my life on track again. Less WoW, more actual social interaction. I've been irritable, depressed, and restless at times, and especially lately.
Been waiting for something to change my life I guess...something to fall into my hands, but I was silly to think it would. I must be the catalyst for the change in my life.
I have been living in the dreams of the Cups suit, giving in to my Piscean nature for far too long. I want to start making my dreams reality. I dream of helping people, of having a purpose in life, of being in a loving relationship, of building a house from the ground up, of being in a rock band, of having my name be remembered.
I want to be more than just a name in the Obituaries.
This is my first real, serious post. Who knows...I might start writing poetry again and posting it in here. Or I might make it a place to think through what I want to do with my life. I feel the world opening like the million petals of a lotus flower from the dreams of the Hindu. But what I see inside it does not do justice to the beauty in the petals, the shade that masked my perceptions as a child.
The real world is cold, sterile, lifeless. Filled with dreams of riches that will ultimately amount to nothing. Fulfillment is more than money...I just haven't grasped what that is yet. My only fear is that I am simply trying to find a way to give myself a hope that things are not as they seem today.