Hopeless Haze - Vol. I: Hot Fuss (Chapter Seven, Part Two)
Volume I: Hot Fuss
Chapter Seven: If You Can Keep a Secret, I Can Keep a Secret
The next day brought the beginning of the final leg of the tour and the start of the biggest secret Ronnie or Brandon would ever have to keep. When Ronnie woke up that morning Brandon wasn't next to him like he usually was. Confused, he got dressed and hurried to Brandon's room. He knocked softly and after a few moments he heard the singer's voice.
"Dave?"
"No," Ronnie replied through the door. "It's me." Ronnie heard the singer curse softly from inside the room. After another moment the door opened, revealing Brandon with puffy eyes and a wet face. Ronnie immediately melted and rushed inside, closing the door behind him.
"Baby, what happened?" Ronnie hugged the singer before taking his hand and leading him to the bed.
"Nothing," Brandon sniffled and wiped his nose on the sleeve of his shirt. "I'm fine."
Ronnie cupped Brandon's cheek with one of his hands and wiped away a stray tear with his thumb, "Please don't lie to me." This was Brandon's breaking point. The singer took Ronnie's hand and held it tightly as he began to sob again.
"S-Someone's gonna f-find out, Ron." Oh. So that was what Brandon was upset about.
"We just need to be careful, that's all," the drummer spoke quietly in the hopes of calming Brandon down. He had never actually seen the singer like this when he was sober, so Ronnie made a point to be extra gentle. "And if someone does find out, it'll be alright. I don't care if the whole world knows how I feel about you." They sat like that until Brandon had calmed down enough for them to leave. Before exiting the privacy of Brandon's room, Ronnie pressed one last kiss to the singer's forehead.
Months passed and before Ronnie knew it, he was in Europe and it was June. Brandon's birthday was in June. Upon asking what the singer would want for his birthday, Brandon turned Ronnie down, stating that the bracelet he had gotten for Valentine's Day was enough and that they were now even. So, when the big day came, the band took the day off and actually put effort into making Brandon's twenty-fourth special. Since they were in a bus they couldn't get him a cake, but the singer did receive a cupcake that the band had gotten at some bakery. Brandon also got treated to breakfast at some café. To his dismay, the staff had been told it was his birthday and he was forced to sit through the restaurant singing to him. The only enjoyable part had been when Dave sang "Happy Birthday, dear waffle slut" instead of the singer's name.
That night, the band went to a bar to celebrate. As expected, Brandon got drunk, but the band allowed it because is was his birthday, after all. Due to this, at one point in the night when all eyes were off the couple, Brandon lead Ronnie to the restroom. When Ronnie asked why they were going, Brandon replied with a slurred "It's somebody's birthday somewhere." There, in one of the cramped stalls, the two participated in a particularly steamy make-out session-this was the highlight of Ronnie's night.
The band took it slow for the next few days. Just four days after Brandon's birthday they were scheduled to play at Glastonbury. The only event of interest was when the band accidentally left Dave at a gas station, but everything was fine. Dave was fine.
The day of Glastonbury Brandon felt particularly nervous. Not about the show, though-about his relationship. There had been many close calls while on the road, and keeping the secret was killing Brandon. On a whim, he found himself outside of Mark's dressing room. He could trust Mark, right? And Mark was already a quiet person- Mark could keep a secret. Brandon raised his hand to knock on the door, but before his fist made contact it opened. Brandon quickly put his hands on his hips and tilted his head to the side.
"Mark," Brandon exclaimed, "what a coincidence seeing you here!"
"Oh, were you looking for Dave?" Mark's voice was deep and intimidating to anyone who didn't know him.
"Nope!" Brandon said, "I was looking for you!" They stared at each other for a moment before Mark moved aside.
"Do you want to come in?" Brandon nodded eagerly and waltzed in, plopping himself down on the couch.
"I wanted to tell you about something-you can't tell Dave." Mark sat across from him and listened intently to what the singer had to say. "So... It's about Ronnie and I." Mark nodded and urged for Brandon to continue. "We've... been in a secret relationship since February." The singer rushed the last part.
All Mark said was "Oh." Oh? Mark must of hated Brandon. Fuck. Why did he think that this was a good idea. "I know." What? What? What? What?
"What?"
Mark chuckled (a rare sight) at Brandon, "I already knew- you don't need to be worried."
"What?"
"Brandon, it was kind of obvious."
"Oh." Did this mean that Dave already knew as well?
The bassist could read minds, "I don't think Dave knows, though. He tends to be oblivious to these things. I won't tell him, though."
"Well... thanks," Brandon stood and breathed a sigh of relief. "I need to get ready. Thanks for... being you." Brandon turned to leave but was stopped.
"Brandon? Congratulations." The singer beamed at Mark and scampered out of the room.
Their show that night went very well. The band unveiled a new song called All The Pretty Faces and played some other less well known songs-the crowd still ate it up. Time moved quickly after that-all that was between Brandon and going home was the final months. It was now July and the couple was becoming restless. With only a few moments of privacy in six months, it made sense. Brandon was excited for today, though. With Dave out of the picture and Mark cool with their antics, the singer was dying to get to the back of the bus with Ronnie.
Brandon saw Ronnie leaning against the bus and found his pace increase. As he approached the drummer his eyes darted around to make sure no one was there. Once Brandon had reached him, his stood on the balls of his feet and pulled the drummer's head towards his own, giving him a passionate kiss.
"Jesus, Brandon," Ronnie said once he was free from the singer's hold, "eager, aren't we?" Brandon giggled and took Ronnie's hand. With his other he flung the bus door open and led the drummer through the bus. Mark was sitting on the couch, intently reading a book. He didn't even notice his two bandmates walking to the back of the bus, but it didn't really matter now that he knew they were an item.
When Brandon reached the door to the bus' bedroom, he quickly opened it with his free hand and led Ronnie inside with the other. He kicked the door closed behind him before crawling onto the bed with the drummer. Ronnie was laying with his back against the headboard as he watched Brandon approach him.
"I've been waiting all day to get you alone," Brandon said through a smile as he straddled Ronnie's hips.
"Wow," Ronnie put his hands on Brandon's hips, "you need to get a more interesting life then."
"Shut up," Brandon put his hands on Ronnie's chest and planted a soft kiss to his lips, "I know you missed my lips." Ronnie closed the distance between them again and took Brandon's bottom lip in between his teeth.
He pulled for a second and once the singer whined he responded, "You bet I did."
Brandon stared at Ronnie for a second. He admired how he looked with his dark stubble slightly grown out-he wanted it against his skin. Brandon slipped his tongue into Ronnie's mouth with a whimper as he rolled his hips. He moved his hands to Ronnie's head where he let one of them gently tug on the drummer's hair. Ronnie's tongue darted out and licked Brandon's bottom lip, slightly plump from the bite he had given him.
Ronnie pulled away from the kiss for a second so that he could pull Brandon's t-shirt off. When he looked at the boy again, his bottom lip was in between his teeth. This emphasized the front tooth that hung down slightly more than the other. Ronnie would never admit it but he loved Brandon's teeth. In fact, he loved everything about Brandon's mouth. He loved everything about Brandon.
"God, you're so hot," Ronnie said unconsciously before returning to Brandon's lips. Brandon continued to grind his ass against Ronnie's growing hard-on as their kiss intensified. Brandon found himself panting occasionally against Ronnie's lips as he rutted against him.
Ronnie moved his lips to Brandon's ear where he whispered, "Just 'cause we have to be quiet doesn't mean we have to be gentle, baby." Brandon shivered and tugged Ronnie's hair as he continued to tease Ronnie by rolling his hips.
Ronnie moved his lips down Brandon's neck. Brandon felt the sting of Ronnie's stubble against his neck and he whined softly. He loved the way it scraped against his soft skin. He knew it'd be red and irritated which meant he'd have a short-lived reminder of this feeling. Brandon's fingers tightened in Ronnie's hair as Ronnie licked along a particularly sensitive spot.
"Ronnie," Brandon moaned breathlessly, "I-I need you to fuck me." Ronnie chuckled darkly against his skin.
"Well, if you ask so nicely, baby." Ronnie's hands moved from Brandon's hips to slide under the fabric of Brandon's tight jeans and briefs. Brandon moaned suddenly when Ronnie grabbed his ass and began to guide the singer's movements on him. Ronnie was now gently biting the skin of Brandon's neck. He bit hard enough to hurt but not enough to bruise. As much as Ronnie wanted the world to know Brandon was his, it would only cause drama if The Killers' supposedly-single lead singer was walking around with hickeys and love bites on his neck.
"You're mine, baby," Ronnie muttered against his skin.
"Oh god," Brandon breathed, "I'm all yours." Brandon removed his hands from Ronnie's head so that he could fumble with the drummer's belt.
Then, the door slammed open.
"Brandon, what ar- what the fuck."
Dave's voice from behind him sent a wave of pure panic through Brandon's body. In a vain attempt to make the scene more understandable, he immediately flew off Ronnie's lap. He ended up falling of the bed and landed hard on the floor. Really hard. But he was too terrified to notice the pain in his head.
"Shit, Dave listen-", Ronnie attempted to say something but there was truly no way to hide this.
"What the fuck," Dave repeated but he sounded more confused than the first time. He obviously knew what was happening: Brandon was shirtless and straddling Ronnie as Ronnie had his hands down Brandon's ass and sucked on his neck. But he still had no fucking clue what was happening.
"Dave," Brandon felt a lump in his throat, "please let us explain." He could have sworn he locked the door. How was he so stupid?
"What the fuck," Dave's hands were in fists at his sides and his voice was rising, "what the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck." Before the guys could explain a thing, Dave was continuing his mantra as he stormed out of the room and into the bus' lounge. "What the fuck?" Mark looked up from his book, unamused. "Did you know about this?"
Mark shrugged and looked back to his book, "I'm surprised you only just now found out." At this time, Brandon scrambled into the lounge with his shirt back on, but backwards.
"Dave, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry I didn't tell you-" There were tears in Brandon's eyes. Ronnie peered into the room, staying out of the spat.
"How long?" Dave was hurt, but not angry, "how long have you been keeping this from me?" Brandon didn't say anything, his eyes glistening as Ronnie wrapped an arm around his shoulder to comfort him. "Brandon," Dave said again, "how long?"
The singer took a shaky breath before speaking softly, "February." Brandon stared at the floor, not wanting to see the guitarist's reaction.
Mark decided it would be best if he excused himself from the conversation. He mumbled something about going to get dinner and left.
Ronnie didn't know what to say. In hindsight, they probably should of told Dave about their relationship.
"Don't you trust me?" Brandon, with small tears rolling down his cheeks, looked back up at Dave.
"I do! I was just... worried."
"Worried?" Dave's voice had become softer, "worried about what?" Brandon didn't need to say anything for Dave to understand. "Oh... You shouldn't be. It is a surprise, though." The guitarist chuckled and motioned to Ronnie, "I mean... you? We all knew about you. But Brandon?" Dave shook his head and put his hands on his hips, "I would've never guessed that Brandon Flowers liked dick!"
Ronnie burst out laughing. Brandon looked horrified.
He was happy, though. The singer found himself smiling with the other men, relieved that he no longer needed to keep secrets.
After Dave had found out, the final months passed in a heartbeat. It was finally October. They were finally home. Upon unlocking the door to his apartment Brandon immediately collapsed on the couch. Ronnie followed behind, chuckling.
"Don't you wanna get in bed?" The only response Ronnie got was a muffled groan. "Okay, well, you need to sit up so I can sit next to you." Brandon groaned again. "I am going to sit on you." Ronnie went to do just that when the phone rang. The drummer sighed and changed directions to pick up the phone. He had to stare at the number for a minute before realizing it was Dave-he wished that Brandon had caller ID.
"Hello? Dave?.... Brandon, Dave says hi.... He's also homeless- WHAT!" Brandon turned his head over and stared at Ronnie in confusion. "What do you mean you're homeless? People don't just go homeless overnight.... Well sorry I don't know anything about being homeless. Why don't you come over and we can talk about this?... Cool. I'll see you later-Dave? He hung up. Rude." Brandon sat up, giving Ronnie a spot next to him.
"How is Dave homeless?" Ronnie shrugged after he fell back onto the couch.
"Something about a bulldozer. He'll be here in twenty minutes." Brandon nodded.
"Poor Dave... do you think we have time to...?" The singer grinned and slipped a hand in between the drummer's thighs.
Ronnie grinned, "I thought you'd never ask."
After a quick session on the couch and an even quicker shower, Dave arrived. He looked pissed, but for good reason.
"Nothing's changed, I see," Dave said as he entered the apartment. "Well," he looked at Ronnie, "almost nothing."
"Anyway!" Brandon urged Dave to sit on the couch (Ronnie grimaced). "So, what's this I hear about a bulldozer?"
Dave sighed, "I dunno. I just went home and all that was there was a parking lot." The situation bewildered Brandon.
"You don't seem that upset," he said.
"Maybe it hasn't set in yet," Ronnie added. Dave glared at him.
"So," Brandon said carefully, "are you sure you went to the right place?"
Dave shut his eyes and took a deep breath, "Brandon," he said. "It was my fucking house."
"You called that thing a house?" Ronnie muttered, hoping Dave wouldn't hear.
"Did you call anyone? The manager? Maybe you should talk to the manager-"
"BRANDON!" Dave screeched, "MY APARTMENT AND EVERYTHING INSIDE IS GONE!" Brandon stared at Dave blankly.
"At least we've got money now...." Ronnie said.
Brandon clapped his hands together, "Why don't you stay with us!" Both Ronnie and Dave looked offended.
"I think I would rather live in a dumpster than live with you, Brandon." Brandon gasped.
"Dave! You! Are! Homeless!" Brandon was insisting on Dave staying with them- Ronnie groaned.
"Brandon... baby... how about we talk about this." Now it was Brandon's turn to look offended. Upon hearing the word "baby" a look of discomfort flashed across Dave's face.
"Dave is our guest, Ron. He stays."
"Well," Dave said. "Maybe I could stay with Mark-"
"Mark has a girlfriend!" Brandon yelled. "You can't!"
Ronnie butted in, "Maybe he could just get a hotel!" Even though Dave didn't want to stay, he was offended because Ronnie didn't want to let him stay. He was homeless, after all. The drummer noticed Dave's glare. "Dave, buddy, I love ya. I'm trying to help you."
"Dave, you're staying here. At least until you sue someone. Maybe a week or two at least." Dave sighed.
"I guess... I wouldn't want to encroach on you, though." Brandon grinned.
"It'll be like one long sleepover!" The singer exclaimed, excited at the idea of living with his boyfriend and best friend.
And that was how Ronnie Vannucci's dream came true.
***
Volume II: Sam's Town coming soon.