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[SIRENS GOING OFF HOLY FUCK IT'S GO TIME.
IT'S GO TIME.
RUSSIA IS MAKING A BREAK FOR THE DOOR HE WILL BE THE FIRST ONE ON MARS FUCK YOU BITCHES HE DOESN'T NEED A SPACE SUIT HIS HEART IS SAFE IN A BOTTLE HE IS A DEMON LONG DEAD WITH NOTHING ELSE TO LOSE.
So yes. Running down the hall to the main doors to claim Mars for the Motherland.]
IT'S GO TIME.
RUSSIA IS MAKING A BREAK FOR THE DOOR HE WILL BE THE FIRST ONE ON MARS FUCK YOU BITCHES HE DOESN'T NEED A SPACE SUIT HIS HEART IS SAFE IN A BOTTLE HE IS A DEMON LONG DEAD WITH NOTHING ELSE TO LOSE.
So yes. Running down the hall to the main doors to claim Mars for the Motherland.]
RUSSIA LOST THE SPACE RACE THE FIRST TIME. SO OBVIOUSLY AMERICA'S CLAIMING UNDEFEATEDNESS.
IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG.
America is running because obviously sirens aren't a good sound and he runs toward danger because he's the hero.
He sees Russia and yells something to him which is lost over the sirens. Something like 'Stop, pinko!' but of course it can't be heard.
So America takes matters into his own hands.
And tackles Russia to the ground.]
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And then there is suddenly an America on his back and he's flat on the ground. Ow. Russia immediately pulls himself up onto his elbows, trying to crawl down the stairs while kicking frantically at America.
ANGRY TYPING AUUUGGGGHHHH I WILL BE THE FIRST ONE ON MARS, SUCK IT SKYPE CHAT.]
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YOU WILL NEVER WIN AT ANYTHING, RUSSIA. BECAUSE YOU ARE COMMUNIST AND FAIL AND THE BEATLES ARE MINE. only I can be anglophile, dammit
And America is on Russia's back too bad Hungary's not here and is trying to climb on top of him enough to climb over him because he's going to get to Mars first fuck you Russia.]
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I AM A BEAUTIFUL ANIMAL, I AM A DESTROYER OF WORLDS. AND WHO SAID I WANTED THE BEATLES ANYWAY? It's not as though I'm hiding multiple illicit copies from my government noooooo. IT MIGHT BE A CULTURAL WAVE BUT THE YOUTH OF SOVIET RUSSIA DEMANDS ITS ENGLISH MUSIC.
Oh no no no, wee petite babby. Russia grabs America by the wrist and rolls over on his back, simultaneously trying to crush America and wiggle over him at the same time. He ends up kinda sideways on-and-off of America and HEY IS HE ACCIDENTALLY ELBOWING YOU IN THE EYE?]
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GOOD BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM ANYWAY. GTFO OF MY POPULAR MUSIC. I DON'T CARE IF THIS ISN'T THE 60S ANYMORE, BEATLES ROCK BAND EXISTS FOR A REASON.
Oh no. America is not a babby anymore. He is an IMMENSE SUPER POWER. And ow why is Russia like a zillion pounds fml. There might be heroic grabbing and pulling at the scarf, and Texas is there so he gets elbowed in the face.
So Russia gets his hair pulled.
Obviously, this is describing like 90 percent of what the Cold War actually was, so yes.]
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TOO BAD I JUST STEAL ALL OF YOUR MUSIC AND CULTURAL TRENDS AS SOON AS THE 90'S HIT HAHAHAHAHAHA.
If by "immense super power" you mean "delusional little boy who thinks he is the leader of the world", then yes.
Oh. You. Did. Not. Just touch the scarf. No one touches the scarf. Russia immediately spins around (yanking out a few of his hairs along the way, fuck his life), trying to crawl over America, knee him in the crotch, and punch him in the cowlick at the same time.
Yes. Punch his cowlick. You heard me.]
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HEY RUSSIA, WHAT'S IT FEEL LIKE TO STAND ON THE MOON? HAHAHAHAHAHA
No, I meant "immense super power" because shut up. I am a god.
Yes, I touched your commie scarf. Because you're a douche bag, Russia. AND YOU DON'T FUCK WITH NANTUCKET. EVER. It isn't a cowlick wtf is wrong with you
Obviously America is gripping your stupid Walmart communist sweat shop clothing to use his Hulk like strength to flip him over. And elbow him in the pancreas. Only he can crawl over you, dammit.]
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And after seeing a whir of fabric swoosh by him, he decided to investigate! Thus he followed Russia to certain doom not knowing what was awaiting him.
HEY GAIZ, CAN YOU LIKE...NOT HAVE SEX IN FRONT OF ME? Cause I don't have anything to make a better comic than Japan-형 with me right now!!!]
Hey America! What's up?
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AND YOU CAN ONLY SAY THAT NOW, AMERICA, BUT SOON I WILL BE THE ONE LAUGHING. FIRST ON MARS, MOTHERFUCKER.
He totally doesn't even acknowledge Korea. He's a little too busy trying to get ahead of America by locking his legs around the other's midsection so he can't get up and pulling himself down the staircase. Backwards. Or trying to. He hits his head on one of the stairs and has some trouble after that. Russia uses one hand to grip the stairs while the other pulls at America's hair. You capitalist fucker.
Also America your hair is a disaster, get that shit fixed.]
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AND YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO LAUGH. COMMUNISTS HAVE NO SOULS. SOMEHOW THIS CORRELATES.
He glances up at Korea to say something but gets legs locked around him and what the hell, I thought we decided that Hungary wasn't here so there wouldn't be any gay. Oh I almost forgot, this is Hetalia we're talking about. He might be trying to climb up on/over Russia, maybe strangle him with the scarf in one hand. And try to force Russia's head into the stairs with the other. Or something. You will not use me to make 4chan fangirls spaz out. You communist douche bag.
And your face is a disaster. At least I can fix my hair.]
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Well. You guys look busy. Guess I'll catch you later!
[Totally walks by them to the door.]
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How did he get there? The world may never know. It's like that deal with the tootsie pop.]
I'm just going to stop questioning how I'm not dead.
[Oh well, time to open the doors. Logic from earlier says that the doors being there means it's safe to open them, right?]
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Russia was attempting to punch the Midwest into oblivion when he catches sight of freaking Korea heading towards Mars.
Oh. Fuck. No.
His efforts double to throw America off of him, shoving and kicking and HOLY SHIT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO WEIGH SO MUCH, AMERICA?! And then Kurt is there. At the prospect of him being the first one on Mars, Russia dons the scary voice.]
Take one more step, little American, and I make sure you will never walk again.
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Kurt, by the way, is speechless. Just...this face.]
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Hey it's red out here!
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