[video]
[The video clicks on to (as usual) Russia smiling. He's not even trying to hide the crazy. In fact, it's even accompanied by an evil chuckle WHAT IS THIS MADNESS.]
I expect you think draining all of my vodka would weaken me, don't you, America? I must admit, it's a bold attack so soon after your declaration of war! But I doubt you suspected that I ( Read more... )
I expect you think draining all of my vodka would weaken me, don't you, America? I must admit, it's a bold attack so soon after your declaration of war! But I doubt you suspected that I ( Read more... )
You're attacking me with birds?! And it's not even Thanksgiving yet!
[[Never mind the fact that he had to rip his door off it's hinges because England tried to duct tape him into his room.]
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You have obviously never encountered one of my geese before. I have made them even more deadly by arming them with explosives.
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What good is a bomb if it can't fly over something?
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I'm sure the geese will adjust to the added weight soon enough. If not, they explode just as well when thrown.
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[However, suddenly the laughter stops. There's screaming, a strangled squawk, and an explosion. A few minutes later..]
...What the fuck, Russia! One of your Chicken Mc Nuggets just tried to eat my ipod and fucking exploded! THAT WAS MY IPOD YOU JACKASS!
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[Oh, if only you could see his face right now. He has no idea what the fuck an ipod is BUT YOU SOUND UPSET SO IT MUST BE IMPORTANT.]
Good. Soon, that will be you!
[Cue evil laughter yet again.]
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Fuck you, commie! I'll show you!
[brb dropping bombs on you. Though actually they're not really bombs they're water balloons.]
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Russia is quite pleased until something smacks him on the head and suddenly he's soaking wet. He quickly puts his hands on his head to shield himself, but it's too late. BOMBS AWAY goddamn it now his coat will weigh more than it usually does. Without his vodka, Russia is in NO MOOD and is muttering kolword after kolword. He just glares at the window.]
So we're taking this to the water, are we?
[So. IS THAT A SHARK BEING THROWN THROUGH YOUR WINDOW? I BELIEVE IT IS. I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE GOT THE SHARK, THAT IS NOT THE POINT.]
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The shark lands in his fucking window and there is screaming and gun shots before there is total silence. And then suddenly the sky darkens. And something falls very fast very quickly.
YES AMERICA'S TOSSING A FUCKING WHALE AT YOU RUSSIA WHAT NOW]
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Russia chuckles, ready to load another goose for launch when he realizes that it's suddenly dark outside SO HE'LL JUST FIGHT IN THE SHADE.
He looks up.
And is promptly squished.]
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and there's still a fucking shark in his room
FLEEEING FOR THE MOMENT]
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He's gasping for breath, soaked, and now sore all over. Okay, it's fucking revenge time. Coming after you now, BEWARE.]
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Russia (now with a bear trap on his foot, FUCK THE TIMELINE IDK WHAT'S GOING ON ANYMORE) limped towards America's room. Not even the stairs could stop him. Fuck the stairs.
Now fueled by vodka, pain, and rage, a red-eyed Russia punches America's door down.
He smiles, and steps aside.
YOU ARE NOW FACE-TO-FACE WITH A RUSSIAN BEAR. IT HAS A BOMB STRAPPED TO THE TOP OF IT. FIND SOME PROPANE TANKS QUICK.]
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