whats wrong with me?
i used to not even care at all.
during, i was bored. at the time, i was indifferent, and now, im beyond confusion. what is it thats making me feel like this? it isnt such a big deal at all, but sub-consciously, i know that i am having trouble letting go.
there is so much going on all around me. everywhere i turn theres something, or someone new, or even worse, old. people from the past. it even keeps replaying-- that we were complete strangers. it was as if we had never seen each other before. thats not how i am, but evidently, its how others are.
and then i lost my phone.
its true, but the biggest issue isnt that i lost my phone, but that all the numbers, the people i was too scared to ever call, but i knew i could if i needed to, are all gone. no way of contacting, at all. not that im brave enough to now anyways, but it still is upsetting to me. important people in my life, and it was up to me.
and for some reason after the other night, i knew that was it. done, finished. and now, of course, im worried. i have regrets and fears, and even worse, i have no way of talking about it. the phone is gone, the number is gone, now only memories? i dont know. i dont know whats left.
why am i so stressed out lately? so upset?
im scared and i dont know what of, and i absolutely have to figure that out. to let go and let people in, and allow myself to be happy with what i have right then and there. before i end up like this, again.
i miss you.
during, i was bored. at the time, i was indifferent, and now, im beyond confusion. what is it thats making me feel like this? it isnt such a big deal at all, but sub-consciously, i know that i am having trouble letting go.
there is so much going on all around me. everywhere i turn theres something, or someone new, or even worse, old. people from the past. it even keeps replaying-- that we were complete strangers. it was as if we had never seen each other before. thats not how i am, but evidently, its how others are.
and then i lost my phone.
its true, but the biggest issue isnt that i lost my phone, but that all the numbers, the people i was too scared to ever call, but i knew i could if i needed to, are all gone. no way of contacting, at all. not that im brave enough to now anyways, but it still is upsetting to me. important people in my life, and it was up to me.
and for some reason after the other night, i knew that was it. done, finished. and now, of course, im worried. i have regrets and fears, and even worse, i have no way of talking about it. the phone is gone, the number is gone, now only memories? i dont know. i dont know whats left.
why am i so stressed out lately? so upset?
im scared and i dont know what of, and i absolutely have to figure that out. to let go and let people in, and allow myself to be happy with what i have right then and there. before i end up like this, again.
i miss you.