[100 Super Junior Fic Challenge] Theme: #55: Shatter
Title: Untitled
Author: me
Theme: #55: Shatter
Pairing: Kim Youngwoon (Kangin)/Kim Youngwoon (Kangin)
A/N: Part of the 100 Super Junior Fics Challenge. Click here for my fic archive.
055. Shatter, Kangin/Kangin
His face was shrouded with tears as he watched himself through the mirror. It wasn’t often that he cried, but he liked to see how he looked like when he did. This was his vulnerable stage and he was curious to see if he still looked “manly”. He didn’t.
He was going through something that he wanted to go through alone. He knew that having someone else there to comfort and to hold him would make everything better; but that was taking the easy way out.
Sometimes it was too much being the strong one. He felt as though he let himself down constantly by not being as tough as he needed to be, or as hard working as he should’ve been. All too often he would prefer to goof off and have fun - but that’s what being a famous idol was about, wasn’t it? Fun?
He could only hear the jeers and taunts of his inner mind telling him that he wasn’t good enough, not handsome enough, not thin enough, not vocally talented enough, nowhere near as amazing enough as he needed to be to be successful in his line of work. Each taunt would make him that little bit more insecure and each jeer would slowly take down the already crumbling wall of protection that he had up around himself.
Kangin is the strong one. But there are days when he just didn’t feel like it.